The "4 L's" plus one

My future family (from left to right): Rylan, Dan, me, Kendra, Stacy, Amanda, James, Ryan…and we have one more girl, Ashley who just recently joined our team as well!

This month, I went to Copper Mountain, Colorado for a week of training and briefing with my team. Student missionaries from all over the U.S, who are leaving the country for a year, gathered in one room and praised the Lord as He prepared us to be sent among the nations. There were nearly 400 students at the conference. I felt so small standing in that large room, surrounded by the presence of God. I looked up as if to see my Father’s face and questioned, “why me, Lord?” All I could hear was his strong, familiar voice whisper, “..for my kingdom and my glory.”

That week, we spent some time reflecting on what it means to Love God, Love our team, Launch movements, and Learn a new world (“the 4 L’s”). Love God. That seems easy enough…right? But as I began to recognize the depth of that statement, my heart began to grasp the true meaning of Love. We can’t love anything if we don’t love God, for the Bible says in 1John that God is love. And if God is love, then every characteristic of who He is represents what love is. It’s more than just an emotion or a temporary feeling that may come and go, but rather it is a state of being; a characteristic of who God is, and who He has made us to be in His image. We love, because God first loved us (1John 4:19). And in the love we give back to Him and to those around us, we reflect the perfect love He first poured upon us. I can’t even tell you how much my love for Africa has grown these past few months in my preparation to go. My love for the children, for the students, for the families, for the sick, the hungry, the poor, the poor in spirit…it continues to grow each passing day. But I realize my love for them is more than just an emotion, more than just a longing to be with them, more than just a desire to serve them this next year. It is a love that comes from God that overflows in and through me, because He first loved me. It is a love marked by grace, mercy, redemption, sacrifice, joy, comfort, peace, and truth. It is marked by every characteristic of my heavenly Father…and it is perfect.

As we learned about Loving our team, we talked a lot about conflict resolution and what it’s going to look like to live together for a year. We learned what it means to serve each other well and to come alongside each other in ministry. We talked through Ephesians 4 and the unity of the Body of Christ and how God intended for us to work together, not alone. It made me think of each one of you, and how beautifully God has joined us in working together for His Kingdom and Glory. My heart grew in thanksgiving for the support you have each given me through prayer and money, and I am so grateful. There are no words to express how truly thankful I am.

Launching movements. The Campus Crusade movement at Cal Poly looks like a large auditorium, with a band on the stage, 800 students attending our weekly meeting, and bible studies, so I’m taking notes on how to duplicate that in South Africa. What? That’s not what it means? As we discussed how to effectively launch movements around the world, it became more clear to me what that looks like. For those of you who know me, I’m a planner, a type A personality, one who likes to schedule, to have a goal or a product to work towards. Getting to be a part of a new movement in South Africa, you can only imagine the thoughts that went through my mind of what that would look like. But as we learned more about what that meant, God removed the blinders from my eyes to see so much more of what He had in mind. “A movement is when God works through a team of like-hearted disciples to win, build, and send toward the fulfillment of the Great Commission.” It looks like an old woman sitting in her one-room tin house who hears the gospel and the story of God’s love and says, “I must share this with my neighbor.” It looks like the honor student on campus who is always asked to tutor his classmates, who is built up in his faith and grasps the Great Commission and says, “Lord, use me to share your truth and grace with my classmates.” It looks like a father of four children who lives on the street who begins to understand God’s perfect love in his life, that says “Lord, send me.” A movement, I have learned, has no shape, no form, no outline of what it should look like. Rather, it is a person who is touched by the beauty of the gospel, the story of God’s love and redemption in their life, who goes out and shares it with another person. That person, shares it with another, and that person shares it with another. God’s kingdom is furthered and His glory is shown, through the sharing and multiplying of His Love Story upon the nations.

Throughout the week, each team had a designated “Area Of Affairs Time” where we learned about the different cultures we would be experiencing. We called this, ‘Learning a New World.’ The South Africa team initially met with the Cameroon team but ended up splitting our discussions into two groups because of how different the South African culture is from the culture in Cameroon. Missionaries who have lived in South Africa came to speak to us about the life there, what is similar, what is different, and the things we should expect as we settle our lives there for a year. It was both interesting and exciting as I sat there listening, anxiously wanting to jump out of my seat and immediately get on a plane to Pretoria. I learned that we were going to experience two very different worlds in South Africa. In Pretoria, where we will be working on the main college campus, the city is very developed. There are streets and high buildings, almost like a mini L.A. in the middle of South Africa. But as you see a beautifully designed brick building to your left, you might turn your head and see a run down street with trash and homeless children playing in the yard to your right. The city is mostly developed and beautifully put together, but there are corners you turn that make it seem all out of place. Nearby Pretoria, right outside the city, we will be working in townships where there are one room tin houses, dirt streets, no sidewalks, and filled with Blacks who have been kicked out of the city because they are the most poor, the most sick, and/or have little to contribute to the society, according to the White community. This all took place during the Apartheid in the 1900s but has left the Black community to create mini townships or communities for themselves to be a part of to this day. We will also be working in Johannesburg, where segregation is still a very prominent issue in the city. Though we will be in South Africa for the whole year, depending on the different places we go, we will be experiencing extremely different worlds throughout our ministry. It feels initially overwhelming, but there is an unexplainable joy that leads my passion to go, for the greater number of people we will get to reach with the Love of God.

Love God, Love your team, Launch movements, and Learn a new world…the 4 L’s. And then I learned one more. Longing for the Lord. Aug. 26, I hugged Trevor good-bye at LAX airport as he left for a year in El Salvador. I moved into my house in San Luis Obispo Aug. 28 to settle in for fall quarter. My house of five amazing roommates, what we called “family” since day one of our freshman year, is now replaced with 3 new people for the year. I came to SLO for the first time feeling like it wasn’t home. My best friends are gone, my spiritual mentor is gone, the man I love is gone; I feel stripped of everything that is comfortable to me. And though there are tears, and my heart aches, and I long to be with those I love…I realize my longings can only be satisfied by my Father. My dependence on Him has grown tremendously, and I am truly grateful for it. Today I realized how much I have been blessed with, and how deeply I have fallen in love with each of those blessings. As God strips me away of each of those things, I realize how much I have turned to the things He has blessed me with as a means to satisfy my every need, and so quickly I forget my very God who has provided me with all that I have. He is removing me from the things I have become more dependent on, and pursuing my heart back to Him. As I sat in my bed one night, longing to be with Trevor, to be with my best friends, to be with what was once comfortable…I heard the sweet whispers of my father say, “Long for Me.” It made me think of the people in Africa, in the townships especially, who have nothing. How they must long for the simplest things; food, fresh water, clothes, shelter, the freedom from AIDS, for their parents, for safety, for protection. And I thought about when I go to serve them this next year I can only provide so much, and only temporarily. But what I can offer, is the love of God which is everlasting, unfailing, and eternally satisfying. And it hit me; every longing of every man’s heart can ultimately only be fulfilled by the almighty God Himself. And what a glorious thing that is.



The picture on the left is of me, Kristen, Natalie, and Lauren. Kristen is an amazing woman of the Lord who discipled me last year in SLO. This year, she is co-leading the team to El Salvador with my boyfriend Trevor, pictured on the bottom. Lauren, my dear friend, is also on their team and was one of my housemates last year. Natalie is on my best and most faithful friends. She left to Turkey this year to do a year of missions with Campus Crusade as well. We have been discipled together since our freshman year of college and were roommates these past two years. We took these pictures at Copper Mountain, CO at our commissioning ceremony during our Global Briefing. These are the people I long to be with..but praise the Lord for laborers who are sent among the nations!

Noodles and the Gospel

In the picture from left to right is, Yumi, myself, and Trevor. This picture was taken at Tohoku Fukushi University in Japan.

I sit here writing you at the end off the month, with greater passion and greater excitement for being sent next year, than when I last spoke to you. God has been growing my heart for South Africa and I find myself recognizing how great the need is for the Gospel to be shared around the world on a daily basis.

Earlier this month, my boyfriend Trevor and I went to Japan for two weeks. During our stay, we were able to visit a college campus at Tohoku Fukushi University. After our tour guide showed us around the campus a bit, he handed us over to a 3rd year Japanese student, Yumi, who studied abroad in the United States last summer. With my broken Japanese and her little English, we were able to communicate just enough to understand one another. We sat in the school cafeteria and ordered three Miso Ramens; her favorite meal on the menu. As we ate and talked about our college lives together, she asked if we have traveled anywhere else in the world. Trev and I were able to share with her our upcoming trips to El Salvador and Africa and why we have decided to go. With wide eyes, she asked about Campus Crusade for Christ and how we got involved. Briefly, we shared our testimonies with her and how Jesus Christ changed our life. It was because of His Grace, that we are compelled to go out into the world and tell others about Him. She smiled and sat silently as she allowed the Gospel to sink in.

"I have never heard of such wonderful things like this before" she said. "Japan, in my college, is so spiritual darkness. Nobody hears things like that or do things like that. I don't know anyone with strong faith. It is encouraging to hear your stories."

I grabbed Trevor's hand from under the table and held it tight to hold myself back from tears. To see the smile on her face and to see her light up as she heard the sweet melodies of hope and faith for the first time, brought me the greatest joy. But to hear her explain the spiritual darkness and loss of faith and hope on her campus, broke my heart into pieces. I realized in that moment, the great need for the Gospel around the world. There is no doubt, the Lord is at work, and is preparing to send me out.

A purposeful time..

Since I don't leave for South Africa until January, it seems as though I have a lot of time to kill. But the Lord has given me these next 5 months as such a purposeful time. Between now and the end of December, I will be spending a lot of time preparing my heart for Africa, raising a team of prayer and financial supporters to come alongside my team, going back to school for fall quarter, leading a sophomore girls bible study (pictured above), discipling two wonderful women, and continuing to bring God glory and see His Kingdom furthered with where He has me now.

I think it can become easy for me to have my mind set on next year and what my ministry is going to look like in Africa. If it were up to me, I would jump on a plane right now and head straight for Pretoria. But that's only because my plans are imperfect. God has me here for a reason, and I want to be a good steward of where He has placed me in this very moment. Although I want to be intentional about preparing my heart to go and praying for our ministry next year, I don't want to be living for the future. I want to surrender my life to the Lord, today. Not wait until January. I am excited for this purposeful time He has set before me and look forward to the things He is going to challenge me with and grow my heart for. My mission does not start next year in Africa..it starts today, right here in my own home.

Why Africa?

I have been blessed with the privilege of taking a year off of school to be God’s hands and feet in Pretoria this January-December of 2009. I will be going through the organization of Campus Crusade for Christ through their STINT (short term international) program, with a team of 9 students. We will be the very first STINT team to ever start a ministry in this location, which is so exciting. Our team will be working on the University of Pretoria campus, talking to college students about the gospel of Jesus Christ, raising and building students up in their faith, and trying to start a movement within that campus for students to begin leading themselves. Our hope is to create a self-sustaining movement on the Pretoria Campus so that every student will know at least one person who truly follows Jesus. South Africa is the educational epicenter of the entire continent. Students from every country of the continent come to South Africa to get a degree and go back to lead their countries. Because of this, we have the opportunity to not only reach South Africa, but all of Africa. We also have been blessed with the opportunity to work with young children in the South African townships. We will partner with another organization called BEAM, started by a couple whose hope is to restore the spiritual climate of the country by reaching the needs of children and their families. We will provide them with food, English tutoring, clothes, shelter, and other basic needs, accompanied with the unfailing love of God. I have such a huge heart for both college ministries as I do for young children, and so to be given this opportunity to serve in both ways alongside each other is an incredible blessing for me.

Come follow me.

As I finish up my third year of college, (which I can’t believe has gone by so fast!), it seems as though God continues to take me through different themes in my life. Freshman year was all about what it really means and looks like to truly follow the Lord with my whole life. Sophomore year I walked through a lot of grace as I learned the need for and joy of confession, and what it meant to be fully redeemed in Christ. This year has been a theme of getting to know God’s character on such an intimate level and understanding the cost of following Him.

Earlier this year as I was reading through Luke 9, the Lord led me to a passage that spoke directly to my heart. Luke 9:57-62 is a story about three men who say they will follow Jesus wherever He goes, but confess that they have other priorities before they go. Jesus says to them, “Come follow me” and they respond, “Yes Lord, but first let me find shelter, first let me get my inheritance, first let me see my family.” And when Jesus responds, He makes it clear that nothing comes before following Him. I have such a deep desire to follow the Lord with my whole life, but I realized in this moment that I had a lot of “but firsts” as well. “Lord, I will follow you and do anything you call me to do,” I said. And I thought I really meant it. But when He called me to a year of missions, my response was “Yes Lord, but first let me graduate, first let me get married, first let me settle down and get a stable job, first let me plan my future and then I will work around Your will for me.” I realized my desire to follow God was there, but my willingness revolved around my plans and not His. It was in that moment, that I realized that God was calling me now...and I therefore need to be obedient, now. It brought me to Isaiah 6 as I realized how marvelous God’s character truly was and how absolutely worthy He was of my whole life, no matter what the cost. My only response was to fall to my knees and worship, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies! The whole earth is filled with his glory! I will lay down my life for You, O God. Here I am. Send me” (Isaiah 6:3,8).

As I prayed to the Lord about where He wanted to use me next year, His answer came immediately and with such clarity. "Africa, Africa, Africa.." I just heard the nation repeating in my heart. I knew in that moment, I was to be sent. As Jim Elliot once wrote, "I am as sure of His direction as I am of His salvation."