Happy Annibirthmasary!

On December 15, I surprised Trevor in El Salvador for our two-year anniversary. Our disciplers from San Luis Obispo blessed me with a ticket as we have committed to a year of missions and would be apart for a year and

 a half. 

It was the greatest blessing to both of us! Ever since he left in August, we've been able to communicate with each other through Skype, which is an online video phone call. When I got to El Salvador, some of my best friends who are on his team came to pick me up at the airport and took me back to their house. Trev and the other guys on the team were out running some errands (and killing time) as I set up my surprise at the girls' house. I went upstairs and signed onto Skype in my friend's room. When he got there, the rest of the team told him I was waiting to talk to him online. He and I started a conversation, like any other....only I was in the room right next to him instead of miles away. For our anniversary present, I gave him our journal that we've written back and forth to each other over the years. As we went through it together, I suddenly 'had to use the bathroom.' 

"I'm sorry, I'll be right back! But look in the pocket in the back of the journal, there's one last surprise for you.."

As he opened the pocket, he pulled out all my boarding passes that I stuck in there from my LA, Miami, and San Salvador flights to go see him. Confused, he flipped through the boarding stubs as I ran outside to the balcony where he was sitting. With wide eyes he dropped the passes and sat up...and for about 5 minutes straight, said nothing but "Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?.."

It was so surreal. 

To be able to hug him again, smell his scent, even just see his smile face to face and not over a screen...it was the most beautiful moment that brought me to tears.

That week, we spent time encouraging one another, enjoying being in each other’s presence again, observing his leadership on the team and being so proud of him, having deep conversations about the Lord’s vision and plan for us now and in the future, and even enjoying the simplicity of holding hands again. We were able to celebrate our 2 year anniversary, his birthday, and an early christmas in a month that we thought we'd have to endure apart from each other. 

It was such a week to remember and a week that refreshed my soul in so many ways. God called us out this year and I know and trust that He will sustain us. But I love that He is a God who loves to bless us. I realize that sometimes God gives us things we don’t really need, but He blesses us just because he understands how much we desire it. And just like a father will give his child a new toy, or a trip to Disneyland, or something the child does not need, but he blesses him because he delights in seeing his child filled with so much joy; I feel like my Father in heaven has given me an opportunity to see the man I love, simply because

 He delights in seeing me find joy in the midst of His blessings. 

Now I have to leave him again as we endure a year apart. But God has blessed us up to this point and I know He will only continue to do so, even if we're miles away.

good-byes

Today I had to say good-bye to some of my closest friends, mentors, bible studies, and meaningful relationships as the Lord reminded me of how faithful He has been in using so many people in my life. Even though I’m only going for a year, there is something about saying “good-bye” that causes the heart to reflect on how deeply we value those we love. And I am so grateful that there are so many people in my life whom saying “good-bye” to is difficult. It just makes me realize how many people I am truly blessed with, and how many people I really do love. 

I miss all of you already.

9 hidden lettes, one lucky girl

On Dec. 6 at 5:00 am, I woke up to the unpleasantly fierce vibrations of my phone. With my eyes half open, I read the screen that blinded my eyes with the flashing text: "Trev CALLING." Knowing he's one to enjoy his sleep, I worriedly picked up. I was right. He does love his sleep. But he also loves loving me well. And today, that meant a big surprise.

After being instructed to dress warm and hop in the car, I found a letter taped onto my steering wheel. Keep in mind, Trev lives over 3,000 miles away in the middle of El Salvador. How he managed to do all this...I have no idea. But he's an incredible man; I know that much. So I got into the car and read my first letter. On the passenger seat was a Starbucks card and my ipod waiting to be played with a playlist he titled "For Ali from Trev." I was told to go to Starbucks, grab myself some coffee, listen to his playlist and head out to Montana de Oro where I would find my next letter.

My second letter was found under the bench where he gave me a new purity ring two years ago. It was a day significant to both of us and is now a place that marks so much of the beauty in our relationship. The letter told me to spend some time enjoying the sunrise, the beauty of God's creation, and praising our Father for his faithfulness in our lives. I did just that, and was brought to tears as my grateful heart was overwhelmed that morning.

Letter number three was found in the trunk of my car, taped to the back of three colorful pictures that made my heart smile. After going home and getting ready, I met the Kromhout family at noon. As I pulled up to the front of the house, Karlyn, Grant and Pierson stood in the driveway each wearing a santa hat, waiting to give me my fourth letter. Trev and I have had the privilege of watching and taking care of the Kromhout kids for over two years now. They are like family to us and some of our favorite memories have been in that house together. One of the hardest things about leaving for a year is leaving the people you love. So Trev arranged for the family and I to spenext nd time together for one of the last times before saying good-bye. We went Christmas tree shopping, put up lights, and then I was sent to my fifth letter which was going to be at a Woman's Event with Campus Crusade.

Filled with anticipation, I drove to the place where I would find my next "clue." As I walked into the door, girls rushed me with smiles and nudges asking me how my day was going. How did everyone know about this but me? I am one difficult girl to surprise, but apparently he knows how to pull it off really well. All giddy and excited, I gladly shared all the details when I spotted my letter from across the room. Allison, my discipler (or spiritual mentor) whose husband is also Trev's discipler, called me over with a dozen roses and Letter 5 in hand. Allison and her husband Joe are two of our biggest supporters and most influential people in our lives. We love them dearly, which is why Trev asked her to be a part of my special day. Opening the letter, I was told to go to Cuesta Park where had our first date.

The next letter I found was under a bench sitting beside the creek. Trev and I had some of the most Spirit-filled conversations at this park, where we were able to experience God's abundant grace in and through each other. The letter told me to spend some time alone with the Lord, praying and thanking Him for the grace He has poured upon our relationship. Amazing Grace is our favorite hymn that we cannot help but to cry to every time we hear it. Alone by the quiet creek, I sang loud and unashamed. It was a beautiful day for praising my King. Towards the end of my time, I received a phone call from him asking me how my day was going. I could tell the excitement in his voice as I shared how perfect every little detail has been. One of his greatest joys is making me happy...and he does it so well. Over the phone, he told me to head back home where I would find my next letter taped behind the sign "Sycamore Dr" on my street.

If you're following along, we're now at letter number 7. After struggling to rip it down from the sign that's twice my height, I was finally allowed to rest. And that's exactly what I did. I came home, fell onto the first available couch and slept. I took about an hour nap and then got ready for a dinner out with my roommates. Reservations were made he said, for 7:00. So I quickly got ready and jumped in the car with my friends to finish our night. We drove to Yanagi's which is Trev and my favorite restaurant. He's friends with all the sushi chefs behind the counter and hugs the hostess at every visit. As I walked into the door, the first person I see is Trevor's mom who drove 3 hours just to see me that night. Next to her, sat Trev and my closest friends down a long table at the restaurant. Each were there to wish me a happy early anniversary with Trev. His mom handed me a small gift as his sister passed me the 8th letter. I opened my present which was a little pocket booklet that had pictures of us from over the years. The first page read, "This little book is...for whenever you feel lonely..for whenever you see no end in sight..for whenever you need to laugh..for whenever you need to remember.."

After an amazing dinner with the people I love, I came home, fell on my bed, and called Trev to thank him. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. It was the most amazing day I've had apart from him..though I couldn't have felt closer. After we hung up I changed into my PJs and just as I was about to lay my head to down to sleep..I found the last letter on my pillow. A beautifully written letter to end my day with a final phrase.."You are worthy to be pursued."

If there is any man who helps me to see and understand God's Love better..it is Trev.

I am one lucky girl.

home sweet home

As many of you know, housing has been one of the biggest prayer requests for our team. Being the first STINTers to launch a movement in South Africa, there are already so many unknowns that we are going to have to figure out as the year progresses. To pick up my life and move first thing into a hostel...wasn't the most comforting thought. But if it was God's will, we were willing to follow. But praise HIM, that He had greater things in store for us all along.

This month, we received wonderful news of a housing opportunity in Pretoria, South Africa. We gladly accepted! It is a beautiful 5-6 bedroom house, fully furnished, with an incredible backyard! It is conveniently located 8 miles from campus and sits in a nice, safe part of town. The women on our team will live here and this will be our "home base" where we will have team meetings, invite students over for special events, dinners, and fellowship activities. Not only will this be a comforting place for us to stay, but a wonderful place for ministry. Praise God! He provided us with more than just a house...He blessed us with a home.


come take a look!...

here is our kitchenette and sunroom:


our tv/living room:


our main kitchen:


one of the bedrooms:


and our beautiful backyard!:

Faithful to Answer

These past four months have been a rollercoaster of a ride. From spending my last moments with Trevor during the summer, to meeting my team and casting vision for our trip, to starting Fall Quarter at Poly and diving into the different ministries here, raising support, and now planning and preparing to leave in just two months. As I sat down to write about some updates for this past month, I had a hard time coming up with anything at all. It feels like my life has been going full speed and the only thing I ever seem to write about are what I’ve done, what I’m doing, what I still need to do, and the mix of all my emotions that come along with it. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing; I do hope you enjoy and find encouragement in hearing about what I’m learning, doing, and going through. But I realize there is so much more going on here, than just what I’m doing. GOD, is doing things far beyond anything I expected. As I have prayed and as you have prayed…HE has been faithful to answer.

I thank God for the protection of unity within our team. As national staff in South Africa suggested we split our team into two groups for the year, it became an unsettling idea for us in many different ways. Dividing our team would not only make intimacy among the group difficult throughout the year, but it also meant a lot more safety precautions for all of us. Half of our team would be placed in Johannesburg full time while the other half of us lived in Pretoria. There would only be two men, opposed to four men, caring for and watching the women on our team, in each group. As we held this idea out with open hands, we prayed God’s will would be to keep us together. Waiting in anticipation, God was faithful to answer our prayers. Our team will not be split and we will all be living in Pretoria for the year! I can’t even begin to tell you what a relief it is for all of us and how incredibly grateful we are that God has protected our team from the possibility of dividing in two.

I thank God for His provision over my support. The last week of October, I held a support night at my house for college students and friends to come hear about the vision for South Africa and how they can help. Many people were out of town that weekend, a lot of people intended to come but ended up having other plans, and some were simply not interested. As I handed out invitations throughout the week, I was clueless as to how the night would turn out. College students, who would much rather be doing something other than hear about missions on a Saturday night, already had little to no money in their pockets. But college students, are also some of the most willing and generous people to give. It was a shot in the dark and a huge step of faith, but God heard my prayers and faithfully answered them, once again.Over 20 students filled the backroom of my house, squeezing onto our couches, filling the carpet space on the floor, and setting up dining room and desk chairs in all the open spaces. I was able to share with them how God has personally called me to go this year, why South Africa is a strategic and effective place for ministry, what our team will be doing once we get there, and how they each can specifically help. As I shared our promo video with them and a slideshow of pictures from previous teams, I watched the Spirit of the Lord move in that room, capturing the hearts of my peers as they were compelled by the needs of this country. I finished the night opening it up to any questions they had. It was amazing how quickly these students caught onto the vision, how involved they wanted to be in the process of me going, and how quick they were to respond in obedience. It was the most encouraging time I’ve had all quarter. I didn’t expect students to give anything that night, and told them I would follow up the next week with a phone call. But God had different plans, and put it on some of these students’ hearts to give immediately. I went to bed that night with $600 in one-time checks, a few monthly commitments, and a thousand praises for my King.

And lastly, I thank God for the abundant joy He has daily filled my soul with this past month. I think I am starting to finally realize, not simply by the knowledge of my mind, but realize through the experience of my heart, the difference between happiness and joy. Comparing last quarter to this quarter paints the perfect picture of how God is growing me in this area. As I look back at the state of my heart last quarter, I just see a big mess of emotions tagging along with my emotion-based faith. There were absolutely wonderful days where I experienced happiness, smiles, and laughter, but they became so fleeting. I began to see fear, anxiety, and doubt arise when the storms hit, when temptation to sin became stronger, when more of life felt less in my control. The difference with joy is that it’s not really an emotion that comes and goes. But it’s a fruit of the Spirit; a state of being that is forever constant. This past month, I have experienced and incredible joy that has consumed every part of me. Whether circumstances are good or trying, my joy has remained. Twice this week I accidentally, but maybe not coincidentally, came upon these verses in Scripture: “Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice!...Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything” (Ph 4:4,6). “Always be joyful. Never stop praying” (1Th 5:16-17). I think it’s interesting how joy is a command before prayer is in these verses. But I think I’m starting to understand why this is so important. The only way we are able to find and maintain constant joy in our life, is when the truths about God’s Word, His character, and His promises, become a reality in our lives. It’s when we no longer just know it in our heads but we believe it in our hearts, and we experience His truth in the innermost parts of our soul. When this becomes true of us, we cannot not experience joy. There is no way our lives can be so intimately involved with the Creator of the Universe and not be consumed in every part with joy. And when joy comes from an understanding of who God is, I think then is when we can come to Him in prayer, petitioning for His will to be done, His glory to be shown, and our hearts to be aligned with His. So with an overflow of abundant joy, I come praying. I pray for the joy of the Lord to consume and overflow from every African student and child.


And knowing my God, I know He will be faithful to answer.

SLO-ing down...

It's the end of September and I only have three months left until I leave for South Africa! Time is flying by and I'm getting so excited to pack up my stuff and board that plane. I moved into my house in SLO and settled down a little bit, but felt like I was living out of a suitcase. Everything seemed so temporary and though I was physically still here, emotionally I was already living in Africa.

But God spoke to my through His faithful and living Word. Psalm 95:6-7 reads, "Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneels before the Lord our maker, for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice, today." I began praying that the Lord would show me His purpose here in SLO. I want to prepare my heart for South Africa and the ministry He is calling me to next year...but I don't want to be living for it and miss the opportunities He's given me right now. I know that God doesn't want me to just sit around, waiting for time to pass. He has such a purpose for me this fall quarter and I want to be a good steward of where He has me today. As I prayed for God to reveal the ways in which He wanted to use and grow me here in SLO, He answered immediately and my eyes were opened to new opportunities to bless, and to be blessed.

This quarter I will continue to lead the same bible study that I began last year. The girls in my study are now sophomores, mature in their faith, eager to learn, ready to grow, and excited to be used for God's kingdom and glory. They encourage and challenge me in ways I can't even explain to you and I am reminded of my purpose here, because of each one of them. The house that I am living in, though it's the same little blue house on Sycamore Drive, it looks and feels more different than it ever has. We have three new roommates living with us to substitute our places while three of us leave for STINT, and though I miss our "family," God has opened my eyes to see so much purpose in each woman living in our home. I have enjoyed the hour-long conversations we've had about who God is and how to experience His love. I have enjoyed sharing my testimony with these girls and seeing their eyes light up at the story of God's grace and redemption as they are captivated by how person God is in my life. I have enjoyed having them ask questions that cause me to dig deeper into Scripture. God has shown me so much purpose in living at home, with new roommates, new relationships and new opportunities...and again I am reminded of my purpose here because of each of them. This quarter, I joined a new bible study, in addition to the one I have been involved in since freshman year, and I am so challenged by each woman in that group. They are women who are marked by faith, by love, by grace, and they exude such a beautiful presence that draws me closer to the Lord. I have been so encouraged by these women as they offer me so much love and support during this time of transition in my life. I am greatly blessed and reminded of my purpose here in SLO...because of each of them. This quarter, I get to play and hang out with 4 of my favorite children of all time (though babysitting). But even though it's my job, I can't possibly consider it work for all the joy that I get to experience with these kids. Karlyn, Grant, Pierson and Mabel are some of my greatest joys here in SLO and in my time spent with them, I am reminded of the child-like faith, the innocence, and the purity of a child that God calls me to have. And in each of them, I am reminded of my purpose here in SLO once again. AS I started my classes and introduced myself to some new classmates, God opened doors for me to have conversations about my faith with many of them. I was able to share my upcoming trip to Africa and how it was God who compelled me to go. I'm excited for these new relationship is my classes and for opportunities for God to use me to draw in the souls of these students closer to Him.

My excitement for South Africa continues to grow each day as the Lord prepares my heart for ministry there. My prayers have become so much more fervent as the time grows closer for us to leave. But in my excitement to go and be sent, I have also learned to slow down...and enjoy the purpose He has called me to, today. I love that God is so intentional in His plans for us. I love that I can be here in SLO, with full faith and confidence in knowing that He has me here for a reason. It's not that I happen to still be here and in His faithfulness He will use it for good. But rather it is in His faithfulness, that He has intentionally called me to be here and in His faithfulness that He will use me for His purpose.

One Family: an answered prayer

Praise the Lord!
Some of you may have been aware, but during Global Briefing in August my team had discussed the possibility of splitting in two. The national staff in Pretoria wanted us to be working on the university campus in Johannesburg as well as in Pretoria. Depending on how much time the nationals wanted us in Johannesburg, the idea was thrown out there that our team would split into two groups. Half of us would live in Johannesburg doing full time ministry in that city while the other half of us lived in Pretoria. This was a huge concern for our team as you can imagine our hesitations to split up. For one, we already feel like a family. We did not want to split up the unity of our group and split our ministry in two. Our vision and hope was to go into South Africa as a team, as one family, and serve that country together. Secondly, safety was a huge concern for many of us women as well. Johannesburg has an extremely high crime rate and to have our team split with less people working in that city, let alone living in that city, was a huge concern for many of us. As we discussed our thoughts as a team, it was encouraging to see the attitude of every member reflect that of honesty yet complete surrender. "My heart says stick together, but God's will be done, not ours."

All praise to the Father who aligned our hearts with His and whose will was to have us stay as one team. I just received news that we will not be splitting into two groups and we will live as a family in Pretoria for the year. We will be doing ministry in Johannesburg, but will not be living there and will have control of commuting in and out of the city.

Praise God for His provision and His faithfulness. And thank you to everyone who has been praying on our behalf. Your prayers have been answered, and an overwhelming sense of peace now rests upon our team. Thank you.

Lord, break my heart...

"Lord, break my heart for the things that break Yours..." A prayer many of us pray.

Last year, as I spent two months in Santa Monica for a summer project with Campus Crusade, sharing my faith with people on the streets...God gave me a glimpse of His broken heart. The depths of my heart ached as I was heavily burdened for the lost souls in this world. As I began to pray for friends I knew in my hometown, it led me to pray for people in my classes. Then people at my work, and people I've met on the streets. The list continued as I prayed for the souls of people I have never met...for my city, for my state, my country, tribes I've never heard of, and the world. I remember crying out to the Lord, my soul deeply groaning, my face wet with tears, for people I barely knew, if I knew them at all. And it hit me...this was a glimpse of God's heart for His lost sheep; A picture of His indescribable, infinite Love for each of them. I will never forget that moment I spent with the Lord and I will never be able to see the people in this world the same as I did. They are so much more than people, so much more than friends, so much more than just a clerk behind the counter or the barista serving my coffee. They are so more than just my classmates, or my professors, or my neighbor. They are souls, loved and pursued by the God of the Universe...who I am called to love and pursue as well.

Last week, as I sat in the quiet of the night, God increased my understanding of His heart once again. On September 11, I got a phone call receiving news that my team member's father took his life earlier that night. I was devastated. The day or two before, I received an email from my best friend's mom who works with at-risk middle school students. One of the 7th grade boys at her school was killed in a gang shooting. That same week, I went out with one of my sophomore girls who cried to me in confusion and sorrow about her older sister who has decided to walk away from her faith and live for the world instead. As I sat and thought about each of these things, my mind drifted into a thousand more thoughts of this fallen world. I thought of the countless people looking for a place to rest their head that night. I thought of the sick, the lonely, the orphaned, and the widowed. I thought of the mothers and children, fathers, husbands, and students in Africa all suffering with AIDS. I thought of the streets in LA and around the world of people scared to go to bed at night. Tears just streamed down my face as thoughts continued to race through my mind of how broken and fallen this world has truly become. "Why God?! I don't understand it. Why is there so much suffering..why are so many people hurting..why are there so many people in this world who don't know You?!"

And He answered, "You are my hands, my feet, and my mouth. You tell me why..."

In that moment, I felt empowered by the Spirit of God. How quickly I forget that the same power of God that rose Jesus from the dead, the same power of God that defeated the cross...lives inside of me. How quickly I forget that God has called me to live in His Spirit to be a light in this world. To use my hands to serve the broken hearted, my feet to pursue the lost sheep among the nations, my mouth to speak words that are full of love, grace, kindness, and truth. My life is to be lived for Him. To bring Him glory. To represent His Son. So that He may love the world through me.

My only response to Him that night as I wiped my tears away, was "..send me."

A deeply rooted tree

This morning, I sat to have a quiet time and the first thing I wrote was, "Lord, this season is hard." Immediately, He led me to a verse in Jeremiah as He breathed the Living Word of truth upon me: "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots deep into the waters. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried about long months of drought. Their leaves are green and they never stop producing fruit. (17:7-8)" I miss Trevor more than I thought I ever could. This season is hard. But I don't want to be bothered by it. I want to grow, I want my faith to increase, I want to be used by the Lord and produce good fruit. I want my character to be refined and my hope in the Lord to strengthen. I want HIM to receive glory and His kingdom to be furthered. When I think of that tree..as it stands along the riverbank, with absolutely nothing around it, growing green leaves and producing fruit...even though it is not bothered by the heat or worried about long months of drought..it can still feel those things as it stands in the middle of it. I may feel lonely at times, or sad with Trevor gone, or overwhelmed at times during the quarter..but I will not be bothered by it or worried. I want my trust to be in the Lord and my hope and confidence to come from Him.

In the midst of loneliness and an aching heart, the intimacy I experience with the Lord has been my greatest joy. My dependence on Him has grown tremendously and I am learning so much of what it looks like to be stripped of all things comfortable, all the things I love..and be fully satisfied in Him alone. I serve a jealous God, who loves me unfailingly...and I am truly grateful.

The "4 L's" plus one

My future family (from left to right): Rylan, Dan, me, Kendra, Stacy, Amanda, James, Ryan…and we have one more girl, Ashley who just recently joined our team as well!

This month, I went to Copper Mountain, Colorado for a week of training and briefing with my team. Student missionaries from all over the U.S, who are leaving the country for a year, gathered in one room and praised the Lord as He prepared us to be sent among the nations. There were nearly 400 students at the conference. I felt so small standing in that large room, surrounded by the presence of God. I looked up as if to see my Father’s face and questioned, “why me, Lord?” All I could hear was his strong, familiar voice whisper, “..for my kingdom and my glory.”

That week, we spent some time reflecting on what it means to Love God, Love our team, Launch movements, and Learn a new world (“the 4 L’s”). Love God. That seems easy enough…right? But as I began to recognize the depth of that statement, my heart began to grasp the true meaning of Love. We can’t love anything if we don’t love God, for the Bible says in 1John that God is love. And if God is love, then every characteristic of who He is represents what love is. It’s more than just an emotion or a temporary feeling that may come and go, but rather it is a state of being; a characteristic of who God is, and who He has made us to be in His image. We love, because God first loved us (1John 4:19). And in the love we give back to Him and to those around us, we reflect the perfect love He first poured upon us. I can’t even tell you how much my love for Africa has grown these past few months in my preparation to go. My love for the children, for the students, for the families, for the sick, the hungry, the poor, the poor in spirit…it continues to grow each passing day. But I realize my love for them is more than just an emotion, more than just a longing to be with them, more than just a desire to serve them this next year. It is a love that comes from God that overflows in and through me, because He first loved me. It is a love marked by grace, mercy, redemption, sacrifice, joy, comfort, peace, and truth. It is marked by every characteristic of my heavenly Father…and it is perfect.

As we learned about Loving our team, we talked a lot about conflict resolution and what it’s going to look like to live together for a year. We learned what it means to serve each other well and to come alongside each other in ministry. We talked through Ephesians 4 and the unity of the Body of Christ and how God intended for us to work together, not alone. It made me think of each one of you, and how beautifully God has joined us in working together for His Kingdom and Glory. My heart grew in thanksgiving for the support you have each given me through prayer and money, and I am so grateful. There are no words to express how truly thankful I am.

Launching movements. The Campus Crusade movement at Cal Poly looks like a large auditorium, with a band on the stage, 800 students attending our weekly meeting, and bible studies, so I’m taking notes on how to duplicate that in South Africa. What? That’s not what it means? As we discussed how to effectively launch movements around the world, it became more clear to me what that looks like. For those of you who know me, I’m a planner, a type A personality, one who likes to schedule, to have a goal or a product to work towards. Getting to be a part of a new movement in South Africa, you can only imagine the thoughts that went through my mind of what that would look like. But as we learned more about what that meant, God removed the blinders from my eyes to see so much more of what He had in mind. “A movement is when God works through a team of like-hearted disciples to win, build, and send toward the fulfillment of the Great Commission.” It looks like an old woman sitting in her one-room tin house who hears the gospel and the story of God’s love and says, “I must share this with my neighbor.” It looks like the honor student on campus who is always asked to tutor his classmates, who is built up in his faith and grasps the Great Commission and says, “Lord, use me to share your truth and grace with my classmates.” It looks like a father of four children who lives on the street who begins to understand God’s perfect love in his life, that says “Lord, send me.” A movement, I have learned, has no shape, no form, no outline of what it should look like. Rather, it is a person who is touched by the beauty of the gospel, the story of God’s love and redemption in their life, who goes out and shares it with another person. That person, shares it with another, and that person shares it with another. God’s kingdom is furthered and His glory is shown, through the sharing and multiplying of His Love Story upon the nations.

Throughout the week, each team had a designated “Area Of Affairs Time” where we learned about the different cultures we would be experiencing. We called this, ‘Learning a New World.’ The South Africa team initially met with the Cameroon team but ended up splitting our discussions into two groups because of how different the South African culture is from the culture in Cameroon. Missionaries who have lived in South Africa came to speak to us about the life there, what is similar, what is different, and the things we should expect as we settle our lives there for a year. It was both interesting and exciting as I sat there listening, anxiously wanting to jump out of my seat and immediately get on a plane to Pretoria. I learned that we were going to experience two very different worlds in South Africa. In Pretoria, where we will be working on the main college campus, the city is very developed. There are streets and high buildings, almost like a mini L.A. in the middle of South Africa. But as you see a beautifully designed brick building to your left, you might turn your head and see a run down street with trash and homeless children playing in the yard to your right. The city is mostly developed and beautifully put together, but there are corners you turn that make it seem all out of place. Nearby Pretoria, right outside the city, we will be working in townships where there are one room tin houses, dirt streets, no sidewalks, and filled with Blacks who have been kicked out of the city because they are the most poor, the most sick, and/or have little to contribute to the society, according to the White community. This all took place during the Apartheid in the 1900s but has left the Black community to create mini townships or communities for themselves to be a part of to this day. We will also be working in Johannesburg, where segregation is still a very prominent issue in the city. Though we will be in South Africa for the whole year, depending on the different places we go, we will be experiencing extremely different worlds throughout our ministry. It feels initially overwhelming, but there is an unexplainable joy that leads my passion to go, for the greater number of people we will get to reach with the Love of God.

Love God, Love your team, Launch movements, and Learn a new world…the 4 L’s. And then I learned one more. Longing for the Lord. Aug. 26, I hugged Trevor good-bye at LAX airport as he left for a year in El Salvador. I moved into my house in San Luis Obispo Aug. 28 to settle in for fall quarter. My house of five amazing roommates, what we called “family” since day one of our freshman year, is now replaced with 3 new people for the year. I came to SLO for the first time feeling like it wasn’t home. My best friends are gone, my spiritual mentor is gone, the man I love is gone; I feel stripped of everything that is comfortable to me. And though there are tears, and my heart aches, and I long to be with those I love…I realize my longings can only be satisfied by my Father. My dependence on Him has grown tremendously, and I am truly grateful for it. Today I realized how much I have been blessed with, and how deeply I have fallen in love with each of those blessings. As God strips me away of each of those things, I realize how much I have turned to the things He has blessed me with as a means to satisfy my every need, and so quickly I forget my very God who has provided me with all that I have. He is removing me from the things I have become more dependent on, and pursuing my heart back to Him. As I sat in my bed one night, longing to be with Trevor, to be with my best friends, to be with what was once comfortable…I heard the sweet whispers of my father say, “Long for Me.” It made me think of the people in Africa, in the townships especially, who have nothing. How they must long for the simplest things; food, fresh water, clothes, shelter, the freedom from AIDS, for their parents, for safety, for protection. And I thought about when I go to serve them this next year I can only provide so much, and only temporarily. But what I can offer, is the love of God which is everlasting, unfailing, and eternally satisfying. And it hit me; every longing of every man’s heart can ultimately only be fulfilled by the almighty God Himself. And what a glorious thing that is.



The picture on the left is of me, Kristen, Natalie, and Lauren. Kristen is an amazing woman of the Lord who discipled me last year in SLO. This year, she is co-leading the team to El Salvador with my boyfriend Trevor, pictured on the bottom. Lauren, my dear friend, is also on their team and was one of my housemates last year. Natalie is on my best and most faithful friends. She left to Turkey this year to do a year of missions with Campus Crusade as well. We have been discipled together since our freshman year of college and were roommates these past two years. We took these pictures at Copper Mountain, CO at our commissioning ceremony during our Global Briefing. These are the people I long to be with..but praise the Lord for laborers who are sent among the nations!

Noodles and the Gospel

In the picture from left to right is, Yumi, myself, and Trevor. This picture was taken at Tohoku Fukushi University in Japan.

I sit here writing you at the end off the month, with greater passion and greater excitement for being sent next year, than when I last spoke to you. God has been growing my heart for South Africa and I find myself recognizing how great the need is for the Gospel to be shared around the world on a daily basis.

Earlier this month, my boyfriend Trevor and I went to Japan for two weeks. During our stay, we were able to visit a college campus at Tohoku Fukushi University. After our tour guide showed us around the campus a bit, he handed us over to a 3rd year Japanese student, Yumi, who studied abroad in the United States last summer. With my broken Japanese and her little English, we were able to communicate just enough to understand one another. We sat in the school cafeteria and ordered three Miso Ramens; her favorite meal on the menu. As we ate and talked about our college lives together, she asked if we have traveled anywhere else in the world. Trev and I were able to share with her our upcoming trips to El Salvador and Africa and why we have decided to go. With wide eyes, she asked about Campus Crusade for Christ and how we got involved. Briefly, we shared our testimonies with her and how Jesus Christ changed our life. It was because of His Grace, that we are compelled to go out into the world and tell others about Him. She smiled and sat silently as she allowed the Gospel to sink in.

"I have never heard of such wonderful things like this before" she said. "Japan, in my college, is so spiritual darkness. Nobody hears things like that or do things like that. I don't know anyone with strong faith. It is encouraging to hear your stories."

I grabbed Trevor's hand from under the table and held it tight to hold myself back from tears. To see the smile on her face and to see her light up as she heard the sweet melodies of hope and faith for the first time, brought me the greatest joy. But to hear her explain the spiritual darkness and loss of faith and hope on her campus, broke my heart into pieces. I realized in that moment, the great need for the Gospel around the world. There is no doubt, the Lord is at work, and is preparing to send me out.

A purposeful time..

Since I don't leave for South Africa until January, it seems as though I have a lot of time to kill. But the Lord has given me these next 5 months as such a purposeful time. Between now and the end of December, I will be spending a lot of time preparing my heart for Africa, raising a team of prayer and financial supporters to come alongside my team, going back to school for fall quarter, leading a sophomore girls bible study (pictured above), discipling two wonderful women, and continuing to bring God glory and see His Kingdom furthered with where He has me now.

I think it can become easy for me to have my mind set on next year and what my ministry is going to look like in Africa. If it were up to me, I would jump on a plane right now and head straight for Pretoria. But that's only because my plans are imperfect. God has me here for a reason, and I want to be a good steward of where He has placed me in this very moment. Although I want to be intentional about preparing my heart to go and praying for our ministry next year, I don't want to be living for the future. I want to surrender my life to the Lord, today. Not wait until January. I am excited for this purposeful time He has set before me and look forward to the things He is going to challenge me with and grow my heart for. My mission does not start next year in Africa..it starts today, right here in my own home.

Why Africa?

I have been blessed with the privilege of taking a year off of school to be God’s hands and feet in Pretoria this January-December of 2009. I will be going through the organization of Campus Crusade for Christ through their STINT (short term international) program, with a team of 9 students. We will be the very first STINT team to ever start a ministry in this location, which is so exciting. Our team will be working on the University of Pretoria campus, talking to college students about the gospel of Jesus Christ, raising and building students up in their faith, and trying to start a movement within that campus for students to begin leading themselves. Our hope is to create a self-sustaining movement on the Pretoria Campus so that every student will know at least one person who truly follows Jesus. South Africa is the educational epicenter of the entire continent. Students from every country of the continent come to South Africa to get a degree and go back to lead their countries. Because of this, we have the opportunity to not only reach South Africa, but all of Africa. We also have been blessed with the opportunity to work with young children in the South African townships. We will partner with another organization called BEAM, started by a couple whose hope is to restore the spiritual climate of the country by reaching the needs of children and their families. We will provide them with food, English tutoring, clothes, shelter, and other basic needs, accompanied with the unfailing love of God. I have such a huge heart for both college ministries as I do for young children, and so to be given this opportunity to serve in both ways alongside each other is an incredible blessing for me.