behind the door

Wednesday morning, Amanda and I went to campus to pray and prepare for our first bible study with Sli and Zetu. Across from where I was sitting were three girls who clearly noticed our accent and kept looking over at our conversation. With each glance they gave, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging. Amanda and I walked over to their table and asked if we could sit to chat with them for a while. "Please!" they giggled, and scooted over to make room on the bench.

After introducing ourselves and explaining a little bit of our ministry on their campus, we naturally dove into a spiritual conversation. That afternoon, I happened to be carrying a Soularium with me, so we used it to go deeper into our discussion. Soularium for those of you who don't know, is an evangelistic tool created by a student who went to New York on a Summer Project. It is a set of 50 pictures that depict everyday life and emotions. As we show the pictures to the students we talk to, we ask questions to further our discussion and to help them explore their spiritual life deeper. The questions are:

Which image describes your life right now..Why?

Which image do you WISH were a part of your life right now...Why?

Which image would you choose to describe God...Why?

Which image best describes what you've experienced spiritually..Why?

Which image best represents what you wish were true about your spiritual life or journey...Why?

The questions and pictures prompted great conversation as we were able to learn about the condition of these girls' hearts immediately. One minute we are complete strangers and the next 

minute we are learning about the very things that consume their minds and hearts and how these things lead the lifestyle in which they are a part of. When we asked the girls to pick a picture that described their spiritual journey currently, Nicole picked an image of a girl looking into a small glass window behind a closed door. "I feel like I know there is something bigger out there, but I just don't know what it is. It is like I'm behind a door and I'm looking in, but I just haven't opened the door yet. If I can open the door, I'm sure I will experience something so BIG...like a real God. But, I just don't know if I'm ready or how to do that. But I do feel like there is something. I just haven't experienced it yet." As the other two girls, Cleo and Yugushri shared their thoughts and the pictures they chose, my eyes kept steady on Nicole. Focused and absorbed into the conversation, I could sense the wheels turning in her heart. Silently I began to pray for Nicole and for God to reveal more of Himself in her life. 

The next question we asked was which picture best described the spiritual life they desired. Without a moment of hesitation, Nicole reached out her hand and within seconds grabbed her photo. She held it close to her chest with the image facing towards her body as she waited for the others to choose their picture. When I asked her which image she chose, she slowly revealed her card with a timid yet radiant smile stretching across her face. The picture was of a blooming flower with pink and white petals coming off the page. "The way you talk about having a relationship with God...I want that too. I want to grow and be like a blooming flower. I want my spiritual life to be beautiful like this.."

As we continued to share in our conversation with the girls, we continued to pray for their hearts to be softened to the Gospel. We ended up not finishing our conversation as the girls had to head to class, but we swapped phone numbers to meet again. Exchanging hugs and thanking them for their time, Nicole left with words that brought so much life to the Scripture I've read so many times before. "I didn't think about God before..but now I can't get Him off my mind. Thank you."

Romans 10:14-15 says, "But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, 'How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!'" It's easy to forget my purpose here sometimes. There are days when I feel discouraged or lost in my dreams for this broken world that seem so far from hopeful. But then I meet students like Nicole...students whom I never would have met if God didn't send me here. Students who never took the time to think about God and the love He has for them, simply because they didn't know He existed. Students who now get to search their hearts and hear about the name of Jesus; the name above all names, who brings life to those who put their faith in Him. 

Pray with me for Nicole and students like her, who are standing behind the door of God's glory. Pray that they would stop simply looking into the window to the beauty of what lies in front of them, but that they would lift up their hand and knock...so that the door may be opened. Pray that God would continue to send us to people and places in Africa to tell people about who He is, so that they might hear, and believe. 

Never Will I Know

Every morning as we leave our house, we drive around the corner to see the same line of shanty homes with children walking to school, some wearing tattered shoes and some bearing the heat of the asphalt with their young calloused feet. Women stand in front of their homes hanging up the family's clothes and sweeping their front yard with large palm leaves. Men walk miles and miles on the side of the road, pulling a wooden crate filled with scraps from a junkyard that could be used for his family's home. I watch the sun beat on their backs as they determinedly walk uphill to the townships where they live. Young girls strap their baby siblings around their backs with cloth or towel as they walk along the dirt roads balancing a week's worth of groceries upon their head. Every morning on our way to campus, I see a glimpse of their everyday lives. Dressed with fresh clean clothes, a different pair of shoes than the ones I wore the day before, after a shower and full breakfast..I peer out my window and know that I will never know what it is like to suffer the way they suffer. I will never be in their shoes, and I will never understand. Even if I spent a week, a month, or a year in a township living the lifestyle they live...I will never know. The other day, it was pouring rain and as we drove back home with our clothes mildly damp and discussing the minor accident of leaving our bedroom windows open during such weather, I couldn't help but notice the four wooden walls of a house shifting its place in the mud with the plastic tarp roof collapsing from the pressure of the wind and rain. Water leaked through the cracks of the walls and that one room, where they cook, eat, and sleep was flooded. Never...will I know.

I am grateful to be living amongst the reality of burdened life in which I cannot avoid every time I step outside. As I pass by the scenes of their everyday lives, the Lord grows within me a thankful heart for that which He has provided me with. I never want to grow comfortable to the things that I have. I never want to think for a moment that I deserve them, nor take for granted the simplest blessings He's given me. It amazes me how those who have little are grateful for much. Yet those who have much, are often grateful for so little. I pray that God will never let me grow numb to the sufferings of this world and I ask in a spirit of humility that He will never let me become too comfortable with my life. May I always recognize each blessing He has provided and worship with gladness and thanksgiving. For the air I breathe, the food I eat, the health of my body, the family I have, the shelter He gives, the love He bestows, the creation He surrounds me with..for the promise of His of Word, for the beauty of the Gospel, for His unfailing grace and perfect peace...I am grateful.

eager hearts for a revived campus

So far, we have spent two weeks on the Kwazulu Natal campus here in Durban, meeting students and leveling the foundation for which a ministry can strongly be built. Campus Crusade for Christ used to be a thriving ministry on this campus years ago. Students were raised up as leaders and sent to unreached places all over Africa. The community and fellowship among the students so evidently reflected their love for Jesus Christ and year after year the Lord added to their number. But somewhere, somehow, the ministry began to slip away. I don't know the history of it all, but for whatever reason the life of the Christian community has been sucked dry. For the past 5-6 years, Kwazulu Natal's Campus Crusade  has been one man standing. Gary Price is a campus director from Texas who moved to South Africa nearly 30 years ago with his wife Cheryll. The two felt God calling them to this place and with the leading of the Holy Spirit have willingly moved all over the country with the addition of five boys over the years. They have now been in Durban for the past 13 years as Gary has committed to stay until life is brought back into the hearts of students and onto the campus of Kwazulu Natal. 

Last summer, a group of American students came to Durban for 2 weeks to help see restoration in the ministry on campus. With their time so limited, they left trusting the Lord had used them to plant seeds that would grow a harvest. Truly, the Lord used them as we now get to be a part of that which they have already sown. It is encouraging to see how the fruit of this ministry today, is born out of the faith of those students. 

There are four student leaders on the campus, all whom were raised up by the summer project last July. 

Zetu is a second year student who grew up in a Christian home but never desired to follow the Lord with her own life. Living on the fence of enjoying the world's pleasures during the week and playing "Christian" on Sundays, Zetu finally reached a point in high school when living for the world became exhausting. After dedicating her life to the Lord, she began to see the joy in following Him. When she met with one of the missionaries last year, God instilled a vision of revival within her. Zetu is eager to see change in the lives of others and wants to be used to bring students the joy she now has in Christ.

Sli is also a second year student who became friends with Zetu through a leadership conference they attended with last year's Summer Project. Sli's father left her and her mother when she was born. "My mother is my greatest hero," she proudly told us. Sli, her brother and sister were raised by a single mom who was committed to loving and caring well for her children. Sli never understood the decision her father made which left her confused and angry for years. But after hearing the Gospel and the unfailing love of her heavenly father who has not stopped pursuing her since the day she was born, Sli's understanding of "father" has completely changed. She committed her life to Christ last summer, with the group of students who came in July, and has grown a passion for the Lord that is beautifully contagious. 

Sbu and Anele are two guys in the movement who are also student leaders, committed to seeing the ministry thrive and lives transformed. Our second day on campus was the very first weekly meeting that Kwazulu Natal's Campus Crusade had held in years. Roughly 10 students showed up and the four student leaders (Zetu, Sli, Sbu, and Anele) were ecstatic. Coming from a Campus Crusade ministry that was nearly 800-1000 students in the States, it would be easy to gather these student leaders and give them an outline of how to run and build a student ministry on their campus. But that would completely defeat the purpose of why we came. We did not come to replicate an American ministry. Nor did we come to build a "weekly meeting" of 1000+ students. We didn't come to tell these students what to do or how to do it. We came to see lives changed. We came to see students raised up as leaders for Christ. We came to share our hearts with them and make ourselves available for them to share their hearts with us. We came to draw students closer to the Lord and grow their passion for Him in such a way that would reach the entire campus, and the world. I want to see students eager to live a life worthy of the Gospel and passionate for sharing the love of Christ with others. Already, God is doing just that, and more.

At our first weekly meeting, the 10 of us gathered in a small classroom, filling maybe a fifth of the room. We told the students to let the Holy Spirit guide them and asked them to lead the entire meeting. We sang one song a cappella, and the voices that filled the room sounded like a chorus of heavenly saints. Anele led us in a devotional about trusting in the Lord and finding our hope in Him. As we read the Scriptures together, I peered around the room observing the students with their tattered bibles. Intently reading the Word of God and following along in the passage, they nodded their heads saying "amen" with such passion and conviction. Mhuzo closed us in prayer after about 30 minutes, and chills ran through my body. He prayed with such fervency and faith..he prayed with authority and boldness, expecting God to move..he prayed with such humility and reverence, and I was drawn to a place of worship. Right now, the students involved in the ministry on this campus are few.. but they are faithful. They want to own the movement and take action to see change. I am so excited to see God work in and through these students as it is a privilege to be here with them. 

feels right.

Ryan, Amanda and I arrived in Durban about 5 days ago and have been running around trying to learn the city, start ministry, and re-settle in. This past week has been a hectic and busy transition, but a wonderful one nonetheless. Immediately after stepping off the plane and out of the Durban Airport, hills of lush vegetation and vibrant shades of green surrounded me. Among the hills were scattered homes of every color, made with anything from brick, cement, wood, tin, even old fabric or heavy cloth. The streets were clear of traffic and the sky was a bright blue contrasting beautifully with the green that surrounded it. Durban sits along the eastern coast of South Africa and the ocean breeze can be felt amidst the tall trees and grassy hills. My heart smiled as I watched the women outside of my window balancing heavy baskets of fruit on their head and children dressed in their school uniforms holding hands and skipping home along the sidewalks paved with red dirt. The feel of Durban is nothing like that of Pretoria. Pretoria was constantly busy, with people rushing to go places, taxis honking on every street corner, tall buildings and new plazas, beautiful homes and private schools lined up with little nature left in its place. There was construction blocking the roads and traffic at every time of day. Pretoria is a city where everybody is engaged. I loved being in Pretoria that first month, believe me...it was wonderful and God did incredible things and still is! But Durban, lovely Durban...has been so good for my soul. It's quiet, quaint, and absolutely beautiful. The Durban mentality is, "go with the flow," "take it easy," "don't you worry about it." Since coming here, I feel like I've been able to take a moment to slow down and care for my heart. Some people need the city to feel connected, I need Durban. It feels so right to be here. I can't wait for God to move through me..but also in me as I spend my time in this place.

Pray with me

In preparing to leave for Durban, we have some big things that need to be lifted up to the Lord in prayer. Please pray with me as we are trusting Him for His provision and protection over our team as we move.

- housing: We have already paid for our housing in Pretoria and are keeping the house for team functions when we come back as well as the other girls on the team who are not moving. Because of that, we are praying that the Lord will provide us with free housing within the first three days of moving to Durban. When we first arrive, we will be living in a hostel that is already paid for, but our stay has been made available for only three days. We will be meeting members of Gary's church (who is the campus director at Kwazulu Natal) and asking the church body if they would be willing to open up their home to us missionaries, free of charge. Please pray that the Lord provides.

- transportation: Like the house, we have already paid for team cars which are going to stay in Pretoria with the two other teams. Along with finding free housing, we are praying to find a free car that can be donated to us during our time there. 

- health: The humidity in Durban is one of the highest in the world. After speaking to Provani, who grew up in Durban, we learned that the air is extremely difficult for asthmatics to breathe in. Amanda, who will be joining our team of three, has really bad asthma and must take extra medication and precaution while in Durban. She is really nervous about the move but we are praying and trusting God for the health of her  body while we are there. Another health concern though this might sound a little silly, is that because of the humidity, mosquitos are practically unavoidable. Unfortunately, I just so happen to be allergic to mosquitos..so I would love prayer for protection in that as well.

I know these are big prayers, but we serve a Big God. Of course we pray His will be done, but we pray and ask that our requests made to him would be aligned with his will. The less time we spend on housing, transportation, and re-settling in..the more time we can spend on the campus doing ministry and reaching out to students. Pray that God will provide and that we would be trusting in Him during this transitional time in our ministry.

Preparing my heart

As I am getting ready to leave in about five days now, I have been praying for the Lord to grow my passion for the people in Durban. Interestingly, it was a prayer He had already answered months before I left for South Africa. During the winter of 2008, just before I left the States, I felt God growing my heart for India. I didn't know why, but my passion continued to grow as I already started to envision the Lord sending my husband and I to do His work in that country one day. As I began to research Durban in preparation for my ministry there, I learned that for years, Durban has been considered "the India capital of South Africa." 40-50% of the city is made up of the Hindu faith, another 40-50% is Muslim, and roughly 5% are Christian. This past week I have spent a lot of time learning and trying to understand both Hinduism and the Muslim religion. It has been interesting to immerse myself in learning a completely new faith of which I was not familiar with ever before. I actually have enjoyed it a whole lot as God has taught me so much of his perfect Love through Jesus Christ. Through learning about these faiths, He has revealed to me the beauty of the Gospel in ways I've never seen it before. I pray and hope that as my eyes have been opened after stepping into the curtain of these faiths, so too will the hearts of these Indian students who have lived behind them their entire lives. 

In addition to learning about these religions, I have also tried to learn about the Indian culture; much of which is made up of their family faith, but also including many traditions and customs as well. The Indian community is extremely relational. Much of their identity comes from their family whom they are closely connected to, as well as their faith. They enjoy community and the fellowship of individuals coming together. A part of building relationships is eating lots of food! They love to cook and partake in the sharing of meals. And according to Provani, a campus staff in Midrand who grew up in a Hindu family and came to know the Lord through Campus Crusade during her college years, if you learn to play Thunnee...you are "in the club". Thunnee is a card game, very complicated and apparently known by every Indian on the face of the earth..or so Provani claims. Last night, Amanda, Ryan and I went to Provani's house to learn the game. 

Having learned a little bit about the culture and having the game of Thunnee up my sleeve, I'm feeling ready as ever for Durban. Okay, maybe not ready as ever. I know I have so much more to learn. But the Lord is growing my heart for the people there, for the Indian community we will get to be a part of, and for the ministry we will experience in Durban. Pray with me as I spend these next few days preparing to go. I am very excited.

Until the Spirit stops us..

God has sent us here to minister to the community in which we live, to BEAM, and to the University of Pretoria, and in each of those places we have seen His hand at work. In just a couple days however, He will call only three of us to Pretoria, three of us to Johannesburg, and three of us to Durban. Before I go on to explain, I want to share this piece of Scripture with you that has been both a comfort and encouragement to me in this big and sudden transition 

of our ministry: 

Then they went from town to town, instructing the believers to follow the decision made by the apostles and elders in Jerusalem. So the churches were strengthened in their faith and grew larger every day. Next Paul and Silas traveled through the area of Phygia and Galatia, because the Holy Spirit had prevented them from preaching the Word in the province of Asia at that time. Then coming to the borders of Mysia, they headed north for the province of Bithynia, but again the Spirit of Jesus did not allow  them to go there. So instead, they went on through Mysia to the seaport of Troas. That night Paul had a vision: A man from Macedonia in northern Greece was standing there, pleading with him, “Come 

over to Macedonia and helps us!” So we decided to leave for Macedonia at once, having concluded that God was calling us to preach the Good News there. (Acts 16:4-10) 

One thing about Paul’s ministry that I have learned and been greatly challenged by is that it was always Spirit-led. If you notice in Scripture, they go from town to town, growing people in their faith and continue to do so until the Spirit tells them otherwise. Coming to South Africa, I knew that our ministry would be at BEAM and TUKS in which we have been a part of this first month and seen much fruit; praise God! But God’s plans were so much greater than these places alone. As I've mentioned before, there is 11 campus staff total, spread thin across the entire country of South Africa. Having nine of us placed all on one campus is more than half of their entire staff in one location. After a lot of prayer and direction from Jaquie, we felt the Lord calling our team to split and be sent to effectively reach the country at large. 6 people on the team will continue to live in Pretoria, but three of them will commute 3 days/week to Johannesburg to do ministry on the U.J. campus, while the other three remain on the Pretoria campus as it is now. The other three on the team, Ryan (my team leader), Amanda, and myself will pack our bags and move to Durban on February 10th. Durban is about 8 hours (driving distance) southeast of Pretoria. There is only one part-time staff member on the Kwazulu Natal campus and our hope is to come alongside him to help start a movement of students who will reach others for Christ. I’m sure you can imagine, but there are a lot of changes that come along with moving away from our team and into a very new ministry. But my hopes are high. God has called me to South Africa…He never specified where. He just told me to go, and so I came. And I will continue to go, until the Spirit tells me otherwise. 

meet Jaquie

Jaquie is the national campus director for Campus Crusade for Christ S.A. She was born and raised in the States but felt the Lord put it heavy on her heart to move to South Africa to help build movements here on college campuses. She is the one that gives direction to all the campus staff throughout the year and helps cast vision for the future of this country through her work with Campus Crusade. She is an amazing woman who is committed to following the Lord and letting the Spirit lead her in leading us. Last week, we went to Johannesburg for a huge staff meeting with all the campus staff from the entire country. By "huge" I mean there were 20 of us, which includes my team of 9... so if you do the math, there are only 11 Campus Crusade staff spread thin across the entire country. 

During our time in Johannesburg, we looked through Scripture to observe Paul's ministry and discussed how we could use Paul's ministry to help lead our ministry. We brainstormed our strengths and weaknesses as a movement, the opportunities we had and our potential as a ministry, and the different threats or obstacles in which we needed to consider. We also spent time creating a mission statement for our team at large, with the intention of achieving our vision of "building spiritual movements everywhere so that everyone knows someone who truly follows Jesus Christ." Here is what we came up with:

"Launching movements in every tertiary institution by developing students to become leaders who impact their campus, community, and world for Christ."

Launching movements - Our hope is to not just reach the people we meet, nor this country alone, nor this generation and stop. We want to launch movements so that as we reach one student, they will reach another, who will reach another. We want to see multiplication and movements being created so that the Good News of Jesus Christ continues to be spread with or without us here. 

Every tertiary institution - As a campus ministry, we want movements to begin on the college campus with college students. This can mean a Graduate school, a four-year University, a two-year community college, or a Trade School (which is very common for many South African students). With a completed education and a young fervent spirit, we believe that these students are the ones who can and will make a difference as influential leaders.

Developing students to become leaders - As we hope to see movements being created and students lead others, we believe that students must be poured into, challenged, and encouraged to become leaders. Through discipleship and the teaching of the Word, our desire is to help lead students into a closer relationship with God as they learn what it looks like to love and follow Christ with all their heart, mind, and soul. 

Impact their campus, community, and world for Christ - As we see students grow in their faith, our desire is to see them reach others for Christ. Whether that means reaching other students on their campus, reaching their families, their communities, co-workers, friends, or being sent into the world..we hope that every student who is reached for Christ will in turn impact those around them, and the world.

With that, I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for us this year. Our hope is big, but our God is even bigger.