"as it is in heaven"

In Matthew chapter 6, Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray and begins with “Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” But here is my question: how can anything on earth be as it is in heaven, when all you see among the nations is sickness, suffering, poverty, violence, and injustice...not to mention greed, anger, and pride? How can his kingdom come when everything God created seems to have gone the opposite direction from what he originally intended? How do you make sense of a prayer Jesus calls us to pray in faith, when the brokenness of this world makes it seem impossible? These are the questions I wrestled with, until God showed me the answer.

Last Wednesday, on September 30th, we received the tragic and shocking news of Carol’s death. Carol was one of the first caregivers at the Ukukanya Life Care Center, and one of Penny’s first friends in South Africa. Coming from a family of strong and faithful Christians, Carol joined Ukukanya at age 27 and decided she wanted to see the Lord use her to help build and start this Aids Hospice for his glory and kingdom. After permission from her father to move away from her home in the rural area into the busy township of Ntuzuma, Carol packed her things and began to help Penny, Prince and a few others build the foundation of Ukukanya. However, due to several setbacks and financial strains, Penny decided to go home to the States for a few months and dedicate that time to fundraising for the Hospice. During her time away, Carol began to feel her life being pulled between the temptations of this world and the life she knew God was calling her to. Several boyfriends came and went, when she remembered her purpose once again after hearing from Penny and the funds that were coming through by the Lord’s provision. Just days before Penny’s return, Carol spoke to her over the phone and with heaviness in her voice said, “I have a not-so-good surprise for you when you get back. I’m pregnant.” Carol gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Akanya, and recommitted her life to serving the Lord wholeheartedly. Penny spent every week with Carol, discipling her and pouring the Word of God into her heart. Their friendship grew and Carol’s heart was significantly changed by the work of God. By the time her daughter was a year old, she felt a strong desire to finish her studies and become a nurse. She wanted to worship the Lord by making those who were sick, well again. After sharing her passion with Penny, Penny felt the Lord put it on her heart to fund Carol’s education. She received her high school diploma and began studying medicine in just a few months time. Carol would visit Ukukanya regularly, but over time slowly began to distance herself. Months went by and there was no word from her. Penny tried to call and text to see how she was doing but there was no response. This past July, Carol came to visit the center for the first time since last year. Her body was frail and her face less radiant, though she tried to mask it with a smile. Her cough was severe and Penny immediately picked up that something was wrong. “Your cough is bad, are you okay?” Carol looked away and quickly responded, “I’m fine, it’s just a cold.” But Penny, having worked with several AIDS cases and TB patients, refused to accept it as a cold. “A cold doesn’t give you that kind of cough, are you sure you’re fine? Is it asthma?” Again, Carol responded and with certainty in her voice said, “I’m fine.” That day, she picked up all her belongings from the room she stayed in at Ukukanya and explained that she was moving back to the rural areas. Penny’s heart dropped with fear as it is common for people to move back to the rural area, as a means of escaping, hiding, or because they are sick and dying. But Carol’s reason was still uncertain as she refused to discuss what was going on. We heard nothing from her, until September 30 when her brother phoned with news of her passing. I cannot tell you the amount of grief and the weight of sorrow that was felt in that moment. But it was the heaviest I had felt in all of my time here.

The following day, we went to Ukukanya for our normal day of work...but it was far from anything normal. Our regular staff was there mourning over her loss, while old staff came to visit and mourned with them. While waiting for Penny to arrive, I took a moment to step outside and be alone with the Lord. I walked around the hospice building and before a word of prayer could be spoken, tears just streamed down my face. “Lord,” I prayed, “Lord, my Saving God..come.” I wanted to pray more, but God just silenced my lips as I sat on the dirt road and wept. This world is suffering. It is broken and not what God intended. I cried for Carol that day, for her family, for her 2 year old daughter, and for all those who loved her. But I also cried for the world. In that moment, I experienced just a glimpse of the heart of God and what He sees and feels everyday. It was a moment where piercing agony interlaced with hopeful revelation and I understood; His Kingdom, was coming.

That Saturday, we invited a group of our students to join us as we worked on the renovations at the Ukukanya Life Care Center. 18 students were there, worshipping the Lord as they painted rooms, planted a garden, moved furniture and transformed a once abandoned building into a center of hope. As I observed the work being done at the center that day, I was moved by how much the Lord opened my eyes to see the meaning of His Kingdom coming, ‘on earth as it is in heaven.’ A couple of the rooms had marker graffitied on the walls with messages like “worried about sweety pie. suffering is sin thus cursed.” Another message wrote “very frustrated for my so called lover, she has been unfaithful to me!!” Before painting the walls, we scrubbed off every stain, every form of graffiti, and every trace of dirt until nothing of it remained. We then painted it with fresh paint and hung NEW messages on the walls made by AIDS orphans from the township. The cluttered rooms filled with trash and dirt were not just cleaned, but the floors polished, windows replaced, and new furniture was put in to welcome those who would be staying there. A concrete slab piled with fragments of stone, brick and concrete was cleared to make way for a growing garden. Everything was transformed from its dying state to have fresh life once again. In Ezekial, it is written, “The Sovereign Lord says: When I cleanse you from your sins, I will repopulate your cities, and the ruins will be rebuilt. The fields that used to lie empty and desolate in plain view of everyone will again be farmed. And when I will bring you back, people will say, ‘This former wasteland is now like the Garden of Eden!’” Sometimes I look around and see this world becoming a wasteland. Not always in a physical sense (although it is certainly true as well) but a spiritual wasteland where apathy and pride have become the easier route over compassion and humility. A wasteland where resentment is chosen over grace and truth compromised for pleasure. But in that same glance, I also see the fingerprints of God all over this world as He works to restore His land, bringing His Kingdom here on earth just as it is in heaven and changing this former, or current, wasteland to be like the Garden of Eden.

As we worked all day at Ukukanya, I thought about Carol and the suffering of this world, and how privileged I was to see God’s Kingdom coming right in front of me. Being in Africa and working with such extremes each day can be so difficult. One day you are holding the hand of a woman who just found out she has AIDS, and the next day you are rejoicing over the salvation of one of your students. I have seen the sick, the poor, the suffering, the dying and in the same year have seen transformed lives, renewed spirits, abundant blessing, and total joy fill the lives of so many people. But as the pendulum swings from one extreme to the next, I am constantly brought back to the beauty of the Gospel. One day, Christ suffers the sins of this world and is nailed upon a cross, drinking the cup of God’s wrath that he didn’t deserve. Three days later, he rose again, conquered death, and brought eternal life to those who believed.

One day, a beautiful woman named Carol died from AIDS. Three days later, 18 students brought Christ’s love, transforming the center where she worked, and saw God’s Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.