the first and greatest commandment

Jesus says "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind." 

I've thought about this a lot lately, as one of the biggest battles I've faced on STINT is the battle between my flesh and spirit. I know I love God and I know that nothing could ever take that love away. My faith in Him is steadfast and my commitment to Him will never be withdrawn. Seasons of hardship will come, but my faith will never leave me. Yet..I don't always act that way. Far too often, what I believe to be true deep in my soul doesn't reflect itself in my heart or my mind.

My soul, is the part of me that is protected. The moment I gave my life to Christ was the moment I let my soul belong to Him. We often say the word "saved" when we talk about salvation, and though Jesus never said it, I think it portrays the redemption we receive through faith fairly well. We are saved into a life with Christ for all of eternity, and we are saved out of a life of death and eternal separation. My soul, which receives salvation from the Lord, loves Him deeply and intimately.

My heart, is the part of me that is filled with all my emotions. It is what carries my personality, my passions, and my desires. My heart holds my likes and my dislikes, my comforts and discomforts, my joys, pains, and sorrows. At times, it is aligned with my soul and the Spirit within me, as I reflect upon my salvation and the grace of my King. These are the times I love the Lord my God with all my heart. But often, my heart is wooed by the things of this world. It is distracted by life circumstances and torn by the many experiences I face. The enemy entices it with worldly comforts and desires instead of Godly ones. The salvation of my soul remains the same, but the state of my heart is summoned in another direction.

My mind, is the part of me that is filled with my thoughts. In my mind, I store wisdom, knowledge, have my opinions and make decisions. I think deeply and question things. My mind is where I dwell on different concepts and ideas, and where I believe things to be true or false. When my mind is focused on the truths of Scripture and attentive to the Spirit, I am typically aligned with my heart and soul as well. But like my heart, if I let my mind take it's focus off the Lord for even a moment, it becomes prey for the enemy to attack. Scripture is twisted and lies somehow are confused with truth. Healthy opinions suddenly turn into judgment, wisdom becomes foolishness, and mindless small talk somehow becomes more engaging than profound conversations about eternity. The salvation of my soul, again remains the same, but the state of my mind loses focus.

I think it's far too easy for us to go about our lives knowing our souls are protected and secure in our salvation, saying "I love the Lord my God with all my soul" and never love Him with our minds and hearts. When we pray "Father, fill me with your Spirit" we need to invite Him to take full control over every part of our life. We need to make our every thought, emotion, word, and response available for Him to move. 

This battle between my flesh and spirit, is none other than the very battle I choose to step into when I shift the gaze of my heart and mind off the Lord and onto the things of this world. I may love the Lord my God with all my soul, but it is when I love Him with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind, that He is reflected in the life that I live.

This is the first and greatest commandment. I don't think the God of the universe takes it so lightly as we do.

content.

We have become too content with God. We have become too content with His Word, too content with His Majesty, and much too content with His Holiness. There is a part of the word 'content' that is seemingly good; it is the part that defines one's satisfaction. But there is another part of the word that is defined as "not wishing for more." Too often we hear of God, we read his Word, we go to church and even make a point to pray to him daily..and with that, we think we are satisfied. We think that it's enough. We don't wish for more and we come up with the excuse that we are merely human and unable to comprehend or grasp the fullness of God, so we stop trying. On occasion, we recognize the depth of Scripture, hear a powerful sermon on a Sunday morning, experience a piece of His glory before a sunset or in the midst of His creation, and humbled we step back and say something like "Wow. God, you are good!" Yet our life continues to go on with very little change. It makes me wonder, have we really experienced God's glory? Or have we just experienced that which satisfies us for a moment?

As I read through Revelation 4, John describes the glory of God with words I'm sure are simply inadequate to describe what the throne of God is truly like. Yet as I try to picture his description the best I can, I am awestruck at the majesty of my Lord. In Exodus 34, after the Lord passes in front of Moses, showing him His glorious presence, it says that "Moses immediately threw himself to the ground and worshiped." In Isaiah 6, I read again the description of God's glory and how Isaiah is able to stand in His presence. The Israelites used to hide themselves from God as He passed over them, fearing they would die if they saw God. Isaiah actually stood in front of God and lived! And like Moses, the moment Isaiah experienced the glory of God and His holiness, his only response was to worship Him. 

If I am to truly experience God's glory and understand the weight of His holiness, it should cause me to do more than just acknowledge his greatness with insufficient words that require no effort to move towards holiness. Experiencing His glory and feeling the weight of His holiness should bring me to my knees in worship. It should cause me to fall with my face down and my hands open. To experience His glory is to draw closer to a holy God. Scripture says "Be holy, for I am holy." When we experience the glory of God, we are automatically faced with His holiness; and He gives us that privilege so that we can become more holy as he is holy. God doesn't reveal His holiness to us so that we can acknowledge Him and then continue in our sin. He reveals it to us, in His grace, so that we can draw closer to Him and be transformed to be more like Him. Yet we miss the point. We are awed by His goodness, singing "Holy is your name," and then go on with our lives.

I am guilty of it. I sing "Holy is your name" and yet I believe 'holy is my name.' In my contentment with God and in my lack of desiring more of Him, I have become hungry for more of myself. In feeling "satisfied" with my habitual worship, I have started to worship lesser things. I have robbed Yaweh of His glory and have taken advantage of His grace. I have let my pride, my selfishness, and my flesh take control over the Lord in my life. I have gone to church, I have read His word, I have prayed to Him daily, I have followed Him to Africa, I have sacrificed my things..yet I have not offered Him my life. Psalm 51 says "You do not desire a sacrifice or I would offer one. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God." I may have done all these things, but they are nothing but a filthy rag to the Lord..unless I offer Him my heart.

Today, the Lord has broken me. But He has broken me for the sake of His Glory. So I will give it ALL to Him:

Praise God, who is relentless for His people!

Praise God, who is filled with unfailing love!

Praise God, who is gracious and merciful!

Praise God, who is faithful to use us, a broken people, for the glory of His name!

Praise God, who pursues us, no matter how far we have run from Him!

Praise God, who is just!

Praise God, who hears our prayers and answers us!

Praise God, who knows us by name and has created us for His pleasure!

Praise God, who sent His only Son to die on our behalf, so that we may know Him and live forever in His presence!

Praise God, for there is none like Him.

All glory, honor, and praise to a holy and mighty God. 

I often hear people praying "More of You, Lord, and less of me." But Jesus says in the gospel of Luke,  "Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." Jesus wants everything. He wants all of us. But we often try to give him less, and only parts of us. My prayer today is, "All of You, Lord, and none of me."

for the sake of one

After the conclusion was made to send Dan home, an emotional battle stirred within him. "Why would God send me all the way to Africa, to send me home again?" Dan has wrestled with this question in his heart for as long as he's wrestled with his physical health. My heart goes out to him for all the turmoil and suffering he's experienced, but I cannot hide the joy inside of me for being aware of the Lord's purpose in sending him here these past three months. During Dan's time in Pretoria, he boldly proclaimed the Gospel in word and deed to those around him. Though his physical health may not have been well, it did not stop the Holy Spirit from working through Dan to reach his campus and this country. 

Aubrey is a student at the TUKS University who Dan met one afternoon while sharing his faith on campus. Seizing the opportunity to speak to him about Jesus, Dan began to share his faith openly and honestly. Just minutes into their dialogue with each other, Dan began to realize that Aubrey's entire life was about to change in this very conversation. An atheist who made a deliberate decision to never get involved with "spiritual things" because God simply didn't exist, began to open up to the truth of Jesus Christ for the very first time. Asking questions and soaking in the beauty of the gospel, Aubrey's heart began to soften as light pierced through years of darkness in his life. For weeks, Aubrey attended two Campus Crusade meetings every Tuesday, hearing the same message at both meetings every week. Continuing to follow-up with Dan, he willingly joined a weekend retreat that Dan invited him to. Aubrey prayed to receive Christ that weekend and has found great joy in getting to know God now as his Father. 

Every week since the two of them met, Dan met with Aubrey to challenge him in Scripture and share more about the truth and joy of his salvation. The two of them started off as strangers, and have become both friends and brothers in Christ. 

Although Dan may have been here for only three months, the Lord was faithful to use him to bring one student into the Kingdom. Now through Aubrey, many others will also come to know Christ...and through them, even more. Jesus says "There is great joy in the presence of God's angels when even one sinner repents and returns to God." So it is true with Aubrey, and we rejoice that Dan was here to be used as a part of his story of salvation.

8

Last Sunday, our team of nine dwindled to eight as we sent one of our team members home for the remainder of the year. Dan, one of the guys serving on the Pretoria campus, has been battling with serious digestive issues for the past two and half months. We've been in South Africa for a total of three. Nearly the entire time he has been here, Dan has been physically unwell, making several trips in and out of the hospital, taking a series of antibiotics, and spending days in bed and off campus. After attempting everything possible in-country, the decision was finally made to send him home. 

We are sad to see Dan leave, but we pray that it will be the best for a quick recovery. Please pray to Yaweh Rophe, the God who heals, to send His healing power upon Dan. Pray that doctors would be able to find out what's going on in his body and that he would be restored to full health. Pray that Dan would see the Lord's hand in all of it, and that we would continue to surround our teammate and friend  in love and prayer, even from across the world.

We love you Dan!

Durban ministry

here is a video to show you a little bit of what Durban is like,

in the city, on campus, and in the hearts of some of the students we've met.

enjoy!

Two Greens and a Yellow

About a week and a half ago, Ryan, Amanda and I flew back to Pretoria for ten days to do a team evaluation on the split. It was so good to be with everyone again and to connect with one another as a team of nine. It is so evident that God is moving among this nation, on so many different levels and in so many different ways. Here is what is happening:

DURBAN

In Durban, I've shared most of what God is doing on our campus already, but I will gladly say again that the ministry is blooming. This past weekend we held an evangelism training conference for leaders of different movements to come to. Leaders from Crossroads, an AIDS education ministry for schools in Africa, came to the conference as well as leaders from the church and other local organizations nearby. The conference was held on the University campus so that after the training, those who attended could practice what they've learned and share their faith with students. Since the training was done on campus, it was an easy way to invite student leaders to come as well. I challenged Sli and Zethu to come and to bring friends who might be interested. Zethu had a wedding to go to that weekend but stopped by on her way out, just to make sure she could learn as much as possible with the time that she had. Sli was free, and walked into the conference with ELEVEN friends following her! One of the girls, Louise, attended the conference and didn't say a word to anyone. Quiet as a mouse, she spoke only to say 'hello' and introduce her name. Other than that, not a sound. Yet her focus during the meetings and her intent expressions when reading the Word of God painted something so beautiful about her. When it came time to putting it all into practice, Louise was found sharing her faith with everyone she came in contact with. Her mouth couldn't stop moving. She shared with such passion, joy and excitement. It reminded me of the disciples in Acts 4:20 when it says they "couldn't stop telling about everything they have seen and heard." That was this girl. This is multiplication. Someone poured into Erika, who came from the States and was sent to pour into Sli. Sli has been captured by the Gospel and has found new life in Christ, and is now sent to pour into others. As she is learning and growing in her faith, the Lord is using her to bring others to himself. Sli has found 11 girls and is determined to see them grow. Louise is one of them and has already been sent to see more come to know Him. It's one of the beautiful ways of how God works. When He calls us to go, he sends us to call others to go as well. And those who are faithful to go will find that more are to be sent. Until everyone in every nation, has heard the name of Christ.

JOHANNESBURG

In Johannesburg, it is amazing what God has done through Ashley, Kendra and James during their month on that campus. Previously, there were no staff members on the campus. No Campus Crusade ministry whatsoever. The three of them set foot on the University of Joburg and had to work from the ground up, finding students and building a movement on their own. When we met up with them for the evaluation, each of them had six students each that they were discipling on a weekly basis. They have had an outreach, are starting to form bible studies within the dorms, and James has been given an amazing opportunity to reach out to athletes on the campus as well. As he ran into the coach of a club basketball team, James shared his vision for the campus and his hope to see God raise up students and sent to make disciples of South Africa and all nations. The coach with eyes wide open and a smile stretching from cheek to cheek, eagerly invited James to assist him in coaching the club team. "That is exactly what I want for these boys! They need men in their lives who will point them to Christ. Will you help me do that?" James chuckled and gave an honest confession that he has never played basketball other than "messing around" on the weekends with friends.  "Don't worry," was the coach's response, "I'll do the coaching, you do the mentoring. We need you." I am so, so grateful that James is here to pour into these men's lives. As I spent time with him and the team in Pretoria, he shared the frustration of seeing the result of poor fatherhood in these students' lives. "Men need to learn how to be men!" He told our team. "They are so good at being abusive, they are professionals as stealing, drinking, gambling, cheating on their wives, and abandoning their families. They have become so good and so talented at everything bad. You should see it in these kids eyes when I ask them to tell me about their fathers. Not one of them has a good thing to say." As you meet student after student, you will find that the majority of them don't have a dad. Some will say they've never met him, some have watched him walk out, and others know him as an abusive drunk, but never as "dad." It breaks my heart and I know it breaks James'. But I praise God that He is our Father, and that He wants to show Himself as a perfect Father to each of these boys. I am so grateful for the Joburg team and for their faithfulness to serve on that campus. Truly there is a need, and the Spirit has sent them there to meet it. 

PRETORIA

In Pretoria, the ministry looks much different than that of Durban and Joburg. But there is no doubt that God is still moving. For years and years, Campus Crusade for Christ South Africa has been wounded, hurt, and divided. Through the apartheid, corrupt leaders, unfaithful staff and national directors, it has been a challenge to find complete restoration in the movement. Being the first STINT team to come to SA, we walked into a fairly messy ministry that is trying to stand back on its feet. The campus staff in Pretoria, a married Afrikaans couple, have been a part of Campus Crusade for nearly 15 years and have seen it both thrive and crumble. As the ministry has faced its peaks and valleys, so has this couple as it has affected their hearts and views about ministry in great ways. This past month, the Pretoria team experienced a very demanding and unwelcoming environment while working with the staff. Unfortunately, they have a difficult time receiving any help from Americans. Dan, Rylan, and Stacey have tried to be learners of the culture and offer no "cultural" advice or "American" input, but rather Biblical advice...yet because they are American, it will not do. Their times with students have been wonderful and they each are discipling a handful on a weekly basis. However, the division among the staff risks a division within the ministry and among the students. Currently, the Pretoria team is praying for fruitful conversations with the campus staff and national director. Within the next week or so, the campus staff, Jaquie (the national director), and the three on the Pretoria team will have a meeting regarding expectations and hopes for change. If campus staff decides they do not want our team to join them, we will need to dust the feet from beneath us and move to a more effective and fruitful campus. But if they do, we will need to work for unity as Satan intends to greatly divide this ministry. There is a lot going on on the Pretoria campus, but God's hand is in the midst of it. I am still grateful and will still praise the Lord for sending a team there to work. Because of it, old wounds are resurfacing and a broken past is being exposed. I pray that our team can be used to expose the darkness of this ministry into light, and to bring healing and restoration among the staff. Already, there are steps being made in that direction and I know God will be faithful to finish the good work that He has started. 

In regards to the split, the Durban team is a green light. We're going, and we're going for the rest of the year! We have packed our bags and will leave nothing in Pretoria. Our closets are empty, rooms cleaned..and we will settle into Durban as soon as we find accommodations. Johannesburg is also a green light. The ministry will continue on that campus and the three who are on that team will move forward in building a movement that will last for years to come. Pretoria is a yellow light. They will continue the ministry and be faithful to serve and submit to the staff, cautious and aware of a potential change. Depending on how the meeting goes with the campus staff and Jaquie, they will then decide whether or not the TUKS campus is green to go, or red to stop and move elsewhere. God is doing a work in this nation and so evidently on these three campuses. Pray with us, that God would continue to move in mighty ways and that we would continue to make ourselves available to be used and sent as the Spirit leads us.

Batubamodimo

Batubamodimo means God’s people in Sutu. If there is one thing that God has shown me this past month in Durban, it is His people and the purpose to which He has called them. Upon arriving in Durban, Amanda, Ryan, and I walked out of the airport with no place to live, no way to get around, and very little money in our pockets. Gary Price, the campus director and only staff member on the Kwazulu-Natal campus picked us up from the airport and drove us to a nearby Guest House which he paid for our stay for three nights. Blessed by his hospitality and warm welcome, we still had no idea where we would be staying for the rest of the month. On Sunday morning, we went to Gary’s church who were already informed about our situation. Immediately after the service we were surrounded by people in the church body who were offering us accommodations in their home, offering us their cars, willing to carpool with their spouse just so they could give up a car for the three of us to get around. People we had never met laid hands on us to pray on our behalf, couples who already had very little to offer, offered all they had, and families invited us to their homes for dinner, coffee, and prayer. As I was reading Paul’s account in Scripture, he says that the community of believers “met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together each day…and shared their meals with great joy and generosity – all while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people” (Acts 2:44-47). I have never seen a church body that reflected the community in Acts so well. This was a picture of God’s people, not because we were standing on church grounds, but because the way the church lived out their faith brought God so much glory. 

Working on the Kwazulu-Natal Westville campus in Durban, the community of Christ looks not much different. Though these students may not have homes, cars, money or food to offer, they have a burning passion for the Lord and a compelling love that overflows in their language, attitude, and lifestyle. One night, a student involved in the Campus Crusade ministry invited us to his residence hall for a “weekly service” that he and his friends organized out of an eagerness to see change in the hearts of students. Under no organization or ministry name, no club or student group affiliation, these students who faithfully gather in the TV Lounge of their dorm every Thursday night, come and hold a service for anyone who wants to hear the Gospel, praise the Lord, study the Word, receive prayer, or just worship in community. As I walked into the room, I immediately felt like I was in the house of the Lord. Zulu worship filled the room as I could hear the souls of these men and women crying out through their voices as they sang. After worshipping in song, the students allowed time for anyone to stand up and share God’s work in their lives. You could share about the things He is teaching you, His Word that spoke to you, ways He has shown Himself faithful to you, things you need prayer for, a song to worship Him in, or anything else. As each student stood up, the first thing they would say is “My name is ______, and I am a child of God,” and then they would share whatever was on their heart. Some would stand up and sing, some read Scripture, some prayed out loud, or shared a story of God’s work in their life. As each student stood up and shared, I could feel a crowd of angels over us, rejoicing in the worship we offered the Lord. It was so beautiful the way each student stood up, no matter what the condition their heart was in, and celebrated the fact that they were children of God. Some cried out to the Lord in frustration, some sang with uncontrollable smiles, some prayed with such authority and expectancy, but they all were were filled with the joy of their salvation. 1 John 3:1 says, “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” These are students who understand the depths of that truth. They are students who are unashamed to proclaim it loudly and live by it boldly. This was a picture of God’s People…who knew what it meant to love God in community, and to share it publicly with those around them.

Zethu and Sli are the two girls pictured above who are currently involved in the Campus Crusade ministry on campus. The first bible study we had, I asked the girls what they wanted to see happen on their campus. Without a pause to (Gary, his wife Cheryl, Ryan, Me, Amanda) think about it, Zethu spoke with faith and conviction. “I’ve prayed about how God can use me…I want one third of this campus to have heard about Christ by the end of the year.” Encouraging her to trust God with this vision, we told her to faithfully follow what He’s called her to do and to wait expectantly for God to move. Sli and Zethu are committed to following hard after God. They are committed to loving each other, living in community, studying the Word, and sharing their faith…all for the Glory of God and His Kingdom. When I look at these two girls, it is without question that they are God’s people. They love Him with all of their hearts and it shows with every part of who they are. 

I have seen God’s people in the church, God’s people on campus, in the community, and amongst my team. Spread throughout different contexts, they all have one thing in common: Christ’s love compels them. My hope is to see more of God’s people coming together in Durban and all of South Africa…more people identifying themselves as “a child of God” and joyfully living in that truth...I want to see God’s Kingdom furthered, His glory magnified, and His people sent.