Last year, as I spent two months in Santa Monica for a summer project with Campus Crusade, sharing my faith with people on the streets...God gave me a glimpse of His broken heart. The depths of my heart ached as I was heavily burdened for the lost souls in this world. As I began to pray for friends I knew in my hometown, it led me to pray for people in my classes. Then people at my work, and people I've met on the streets. The list continued as I prayed for the souls of people I have never met...for my city, for my state, my country, tribes I've never heard of, and the world. I remember crying out to the Lord, my soul deeply groaning, my face wet with tears, for people I barely knew, if I knew them at all. And it hit me...this was a glimpse of God's heart for His lost sheep; A picture of His indescribable, infinite Love for each of them. I will never forget that moment I spent with the Lord and I will never be able to see the people in this world the same as I did. They are so much more than people, so much more than friends, so much more than just a clerk behind the counter or the barista serving my coffee. They are so more than just my classmates, or my professors, or my neighbor. They are souls, loved and pursued by the God of the Universe...who I am called to love and pursue as well.
Last week, as I sat in the quiet of the night, God increased my understanding of His heart once again. On September 11, I got a phone call receiving news that my team member's father took his life earlier that night. I was devastated. The day or two before, I received an
email from my best friend's mom who works with at-risk middle school students. One of the 7th grade boys at her school was killed in a gang shooting. That same week, I went out with one of my sophomore girls who cried to me in confusion and sorrow about her older sister who has decided to walk away from her faith and 
live for the world instead. As I sat and thought about each of these things, my mind drifted into a thousand more thoughts of this fallen world. I thought of the countless people looking for a place to rest their head that night. I thought of the sick, the lonely, the orphaned, and the widowed. I thought of the mothers and children, fathers, husbands, and students in Africa all suffering with AIDS. I thought of the streets in LA and around the world of people scared to go to bed at night. Tears just streamed down my face as thoughts continued to race through my mind of how broken and fallen this world has truly become. "Why God?! I don't understand it. Why is there so much suffering..why are so many people hurting..why are there so many people in this world who don't know You?!"And He answered, "You are my hands, my feet, and my mouth. You tell me why..."
In that moment, I felt empowered by the Spirit of God. How quickly I forget that the same power of God that rose Jesus from the dead, the same power of God that defeated the cross...lives inside of me. How quickly I forget that God has called me to live in His Spirit to be a light in this world. To use my hands to serve the broken hearted, my feet to pursue the lost sheep among the nations, my mouth to speak words that are full of love, grace, kindness, and truth. My life is to be lived for Him. To bring Him glory. To represent His Son. So that He may love the world through me.
My only response to Him that night as I wiped my tears away, was "..send me."
1 comment:
The power of prayer blows my mind...
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