This morning, I sat to have a quiet time and the first thing I wrote was, "Lord, this season is hard." Immediately, He led me to a verse in Jeremiah as He breathed the Living Word of truth upon me: "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots deep into the waters. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried about long months of drought. Their leaves are green and they never stop producing fruit. (17:7-8)" I miss Trevor more than I thought I ever could. This season is hard. But I don't want to be bothered by it. I want to grow, I want my faith to increase, I want to be used by the Lord and produce good fruit. I want my character to be refined and my hope in the Lord to strengthen. I want HIM to receive glory and His kingdom to be furthered. When I think of that tree..as it stands along the riverbank, with absolutely nothing around it, growing green leaves and producing fruit...even though it is not bothered by the heat or worried about long months of drought..it can still feel those things as it stands in the middle of it. I may feel lonely at times, or sad with Trevor gone, or overwhelmed at times during the quarter..but I will not be bothered by it or worried. I want my trust to be in the Lord and my hope and confidence to come from Him.
In the midst of loneliness and an aching heart, the intimacy I experience with the Lord has been my greatest joy. My dependence on Him has grown tremendously and I am learning so much of what it looks like to be stripped of all things comfortable, all the things I love..and be fully satisfied in Him alone. I serve a jealous God, who loves me unfailingly...and I am truly grateful.
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