As we are in the township of Inanda preparing for the Ukukanya AIDS hospice, we are often interrupted by the immediate needs of the community. With open gates each morning, we welcome anyone and everyone to come experience the love of God where we work. Although our hope is to finish repairing and putting together the building to open the hospice by September first, we simply refuse to ignore the daily emergencies, difficulties, and cries for help that walk into our center every day. Several times we were stopped in the middle of painting or cleaning, dropped our paint brushes and spent the rest of our afternoon with women, children, and families who desperately sought our help. 'Help' however, is not what I ever thought it would look like. At first, there was a sense of guilt for not helping in the way I wanted to. I wanted to do more for these people, but simply couldn't. There was only so much I could offer, so much I could provide, so much I could do. And none of it, I felt, made much of a difference. Their circumstances were the same..maybe slightly improved...but still the same. I had a hard time understanding how God wanted to use me and how I was supposed to help such helpless situations.
A woman walked into our center one morning, knocking on the doors of the empty rooms as if she was looking for someone. "Sawubona, can we help you?" we asked. "I'm looking for someone," she replied. No one lives or works at this center except us, Penny and Pastor Prince. So we asked her again, thinking she was maybe lost. "I just need to talk to someone.." she said, as she continued knocking on the doors of vacant rooms. I sensed worry in her voice and saw desperation on her face. I put my kitchen sponge down and gently put my arm around her. "Are you okay?" I asked. And immediately, streams of tears came down her face. "No, I'm not," she cried. We grabbed a chair for her to sit on, and helped her to her seat. The three of us sat around her, still not even knowing her name, and just watched her cry. I began to rub her back and ask questions, assuring her that we were there to listen and comfort her, and help in whatever way we could. As she began to open up, we learned that her little tin house, her only shelter, was being invaded. As she was walking home earlier that morning, she came upon her door and saw all her belongings thrown out of the house. A man who claimed to be the owner of the place decided to 'move back in' after 6 years, and with no warning or consent, he came into her house and kicked her out before she even got home. Buyi is about 25 years old and lives with three children. Her family died years ago, except her sister who was her best friend. About two years ago, her sister passed away as well and left her with her three kids to care for. Buyi is now alone in the world, caring for her sister's three kids, and left no home. I wish I could've given her a place to stay, but I couldn't. I wish I could've offered her a new home and some money for her and the children to live off of, but I couldn't. I wish I could've done something to change her circumstance, but I simply couldn't. All I could do was sit there, rub her back, listen, cry with her, and pray. But as I said to her, "I wish I could do something more.." she stopped me from speaking any further. "I never imagined people like you coming to sit with me. I never thought someone would care enough to listen and even cry with my pain. And then to pray for me, I don't even know what to say. Thank you..that is enough."
When we help, we think we have to fix. But to help, means to serve. And to serve..is to love. Loving isn't always fixing. Sometimes it's just lending an ear. Sometimes it's showing compassion. And sometimes...it's suffering alongside someone. To cry with this woman, to suffer with her in her moment of distress, to speak truth in her life, and to pray over her in the name of the LORD, was the best help I could give her. If Jesus was here, I feel like He would've done the same.
We were able to direct her to the head of the township who will help her find housing. But please pray for Buyi and her three nephews. Though our immediate help seemed limited..I know through prayer we can continue to serve and love her as we trust God to do the rest.
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