BEAM

BEAM, as I've mentioned to many of you before, is a small organization started by a white South African couple whose hope is to restore the spiritual climate of the country by reaching thewomen and children in the townships through practical needs. They offer food, computer skills, tutoring, life skills, education, therapy, spiritual mentoring, and play. Their facility is small and under a lot of financial stress as the government isn't always supportive or reliable with its funding. They are located in the heart of Nellmapias which is an extremely poor township in Pretoria, just 20 minutes away from where we live. Crime is high there and many of these children have been exposed to a way of life that is simply unheard of. Flooded with children between the ages of one and fifteen, many of these children call each other family. The majority are without parents and live in one room tin houses along the dirt roads of their town. Children take care of children and death is as typical to them as the common cold is to us. In art therapy, the children will draw everything from guns, blood, violence, sexual parts, and pictures of them crying for hope.

 

But God is moving. There have been young boys who have come to BEAM with no other intention other than to get a free meal. But through the unconditional love of Christ pouring out on them through the people that work there, they have come to know the Lord. Their lives are changed and hope is real to them. They want a future and talk about the excitement of getting an education to make something of themselves one day. They are young boys who have been drenched with the violent and wicked reality of a fallen world and are now saturated with the love and hope of Jesus Christ. I am brought to tears when I think of how God's work in their life will now affect so many more lives simply

 by the beauty of their testimony.

I pray the same and more, for the many other children at BEAM. Please pray with me so we can work to change the future of Africa together, in Christ.

Lose, Lose

Everywhere in South Africa, there are beggars. Being here for a few days now, it's been difficult discerning the best way to deal with the situation. Many of the beggars are harmless youth; refugees from other countries in Africa who have no other means to live other than begging. It breaks my heart to hear them over and again plead for a Rand or two..which is maybe 10-20 cents in American money. I have the means to do it..so why not? 

As we talked to some of the locals and national staff to hear their thoughts, they discussed the difficulty with Americans giving to beggars. By giving to them, you are often giving them a wrong stereotype of an American. They believe that every white American is rich and will just freely empty their pockets so that the beggar will stop "bothering" them. By not giving to them, they may be left with no meal for the rest of the day. It's a lose, lose situation. So what do you do? Give them a Rand knowing you will help them, but also feeding them the false idea that they are poor black beggars and we are rich white Americans, and it will always be that way? Or refuse to give them the money..and leave them hungry?

As my friends and I were walking back to our car from the shopping center this afternoon, we passed by an old black man sitting at the corner of a traffic light. We overheard his tragic words that pierced my heart with the reality of this fallen and broken world, "If I was not born a sinner, I would have been born white."

I know my God is a God of victory. Not a God of "lose, lose." So then what's the win?

As I read through Scripture today, I came across John 9. The entire chapter tells the story of Jesus healing a man born blind. There were two parts of that story that particularly spoke to me as I wrestled through my thoughts. The first was found in verse 3 when Jesus says "It was not because of his sins or his parents' sins that this man is blind. This happened so the power of God could be seen in him." I often find myself asking the question "Why?" as I observe and experience more and more of the suffering around the world. I still don't fully understand it..but I do know that the power of God can be seen through it. Even here, I have already seen the power of God's mighty hand at work. Sadly, I didn't initially think that was enough. But if God does all things for His Kingdom and Glory...surely any power seen in and through this world, is enough. Secondly, I realized that Jesus was also in a "lose, lose" situation. The man born blind was healed on the Sabbath, which is the day of rest. When Jesus came across this man, if he followed the Sabbath, the man would not be healed; lose. If he did heal the man, he would have broken the Sabbath; lose. But the result was a Win. Why? Because God was given the glory. Jesus does heal the man, because in doing so, He was able to proclaim the power of Himself and the Father. 

I want to do that. I want to be able to have discernment in a world where losing seems to be the only answer. I want to be a representation of Christ where "the win" is an obvious answer. Lord, help me.

the unlimited honk

There is no limit to honking your horn in this country. It is the most loud, obnoxious, stressful noise that consistently resounds on every street. Here are my theories as to why this may occcur:

Honking is...

-a sign of respect

-good luck

-a way of creating a rhythmic beat so that pedestrians and fellow drivers can enjoy music together

-an accident from every driver that just happens a lot

-obviously very necessary

-the South African way to praise Jesus

any other thoughts or theories are welcome. I'm trying to believe the best...but i'd love some help.

Come inside...

Well, I'm here! I made it to Africa! By God's grace and faithful provision, we were able to move into a house right away. I showed you some pics a while back..but I wanted you to get the FULL experience of our new home. So I posted a video with a little tour of our place. Hope you enjoy!

Lord, am I ready?

I leave for Africa tomorrow..and there are butterflies, a whole flock of them, flying around in my stomach. I'm not nervous or fearful..but I can't help to ask "Lord, am I ready?" Am I ready to experience a year completely stripped of everything that is comfortable to me? Am I ready to see the pain and suffering of a whole nother world that lies in Africa? Am I ready to be your very hands and feet that you have called me to be? Am I ready to be challenged, stretched, and broken in my own heart? Am I ready to experience a piece of your glory in a completely new part of the world? ..I don't know.

But perhaps it's a good thing. If I felt completely ready...I would have something to boast about. I would have something to control. I would have expectations to fulfill and a plan set for myself and my year ahead. If I were ready..I wouldn't need to be dependent on the Lord. So as a matter of fact..in not being ready..I think I couldn't be more ready.

Lord, I'm all yours. Use me, stretch me, mold me, break me. Make me completely dependent on you, so that everything that is done this year would come from you alone, and not me. 

Lord, I'm ready.

He has brought me laughter

In the beginning of December, my support was at 70%. I had four weeks to raise $12,500. It made me think of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 17 when God told them they would have a child. “Then Abraham bowed down to the ground but he laughed to himself in disbelief.” How could I raise so much money in so little time? I had no idea. But God knew, and He wanted my faith to prove it.

Mid-December, school ended and my support raised about 3%.

On December 31, my support was at 83%. I left on New Year’s Day to meet my team in Denver, CO for a week long conference in preparation to leave by the 6th. I prayed for a miracle that God would bring in the rest of my support, otherwise I wouldn't be able to leave with my team. I ran out of contacts and was waiting on just a couple confirmations. Day one of being in Denver, I went from 83 to 86%. Day two, I went from 86 to 91%. My team rejoiced with me as I needed at least 90% to board the plane with them! Day three, as I sat in my hotel room just before bed, I saw the Lord bring in the rest of my support, raising it from 91-100% in less than one hour. “And Sarah declared, ‘God has brought me laughter. All who hear about this will laugh with me. Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse a baby? Yet I have given Abraham a son in his old age!” (Gen. 21:6-7). On my knees before Him, my eyes were filled with tears and my heart was filled with laughter. Like Sarah, I couldn’t help but to laugh at the marvelous blessing and work of my God...because of how incapable I am to understand it. 

Proud.

My parents and brother dropped me off at the airport this morning with two 50 lb. bags, a carry on, and a backpack the size of me. It was so hard to leave them and to hug them knowing it would be our last embrace until next year. But at the same time, it couldn't have felt more perfect in the way we left. When I first shared my heart and desire to go to Africa with them about a year ago, it was one of the most difficult conversations I've had with them. As any parent would be, they were concerned, fearful, angry, confused, and just simply didn't understand how I could give up a year of my life to go. Since November 2007 until this day of 2009, I have lifted up prayer after prayer for the Lord to soften their hearts. It has been a process since that first day we talked..but God has been faithful. Through raising support, providing the way, and a multitude of praise stories to share with them in preparing to go, God has shown more of Himself and His character not only to me, but to my family. The last words my parents and my big brother said to me before I left was, "I'm so proud." With tears welled up in my eyes, I walked through the security check-in waving my final goody-byes. 

It is not that they are proud of me that makes me happy; for there is nothing of me to boast about. But those words prove their softened hearts, which God so faithfully answered through the power of prayer. He replaced their fear with trust, their confusion with confirmation, and their doubt with excitement. He turned their anger into love and their hesitation to support. 

"Proud." There couldn't be another word more confirming of His faithfulness.