South Africa STINT

"as it is in heaven"

2009-09-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

In Matthew chapter 6, Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray and begins with “Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” But here is my question: how can anything on earth be as it is in heaven, when all you see among the nations is sickness, suffering, poverty, violence, and injustice...not to mention greed, anger, and pride? How can his kingdom come when everything God created seems to have gone the opposite direction from what he originally intended? How do you make sense of a prayer Jesus calls us to pray in faith, when the brokenness of this world makes it seem impossible? These are the questions I wrestled with, until God showed me the answer.

Last Wednesday, on September 30th, we received the tragic and shocking news of Carol’s death. Carol was one of the first caregivers at the Ukukanya Life Care Center, and one of Penny’s first friends in South Africa. Coming from a family of strong and faithful Christians, Carol joined Ukukanya at age 27 and decided she wanted to see the Lord use her to help build and start this Aids Hospice for his glory and kingdom. After permission from her father to move away from her home in the rural area into the busy township of Ntuzuma, Carol packed her things and began to help Penny, Prince and a few others build the foundation of Ukukanya. However, due to several setbacks and financial strains, Penny decided to go home to the States for a few months and dedicate that time to fundraising for the Hospice. During her time away, Carol began to feel her life being pulled between the temptations of this world and the life she knew God was calling her to. Several boyfriends came and went, when she remembered her purpose once again after hearing from Penny and the funds that were coming through by the Lord’s provision. Just days before Penny’s return, Carol spoke to her over the phone and with heaviness in her voice said, “I have a not-so-good surprise for you when you get back. I’m pregnant.” Carol gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Akanya, and recommitted her life to serving the Lord wholeheartedly. Penny spent every week with Carol, discipling her and pouring the Word of God into her heart. Their friendship grew and Carol’s heart was significantly changed by the work of God. By the time her daughter was a year old, she felt a strong desire to finish her studies and become a nurse. She wanted to worship the Lord by making those who were sick, well again. After sharing her passion with Penny, Penny felt the Lord put it on her heart to fund Carol’s education. She received her high school diploma and began studying medicine in just a few months time. Carol would visit Ukukanya regularly, but over time slowly began to distance herself. Months went by and there was no word from her. Penny tried to call and text to see how she was doing but there was no response. This past July, Carol came to visit the center for the first time since last year. Her body was frail and her face less radiant, though she tried to mask it with a smile. Her cough was severe and Penny immediately picked up that something was wrong. “Your cough is bad, are you okay?” Carol looked away and quickly responded, “I’m fine, it’s just a cold.” But Penny, having worked with several AIDS cases and TB patients, refused to accept it as a cold. “A cold doesn’t give you that kind of cough, are you sure you’re fine? Is it asthma?” Again, Carol responded and with certainty in her voice said, “I’m fine.” That day, she picked up all her belongings from the room she stayed in at Ukukanya and explained that she was moving back to the rural areas. Penny’s heart dropped with fear as it is common for people to move back to the rural area, as a means of escaping, hiding, or because they are sick and dying. But Carol’s reason was still uncertain as she refused to discuss what was going on. We heard nothing from her, until September 30 when her brother phoned with news of her passing. I cannot tell you the amount of grief and the weight of sorrow that was felt in that moment. But it was the heaviest I had felt in all of my time here.

The following day, we went to Ukukanya for our normal day of work...but it was far from anything normal. Our regular staff was there mourning over her loss, while old staff came to visit and mourned with them. While waiting for Penny to arrive, I took a moment to step outside and be alone with the Lord. I walked around the hospice building and before a word of prayer could be spoken, tears just streamed down my face. “Lord,” I prayed, “Lord, my Saving God..come.” I wanted to pray more, but God just silenced my lips as I sat on the dirt road and wept. This world is suffering. It is broken and not what God intended. I cried for Carol that day, for her family, for her 2 year old daughter, and for all those who loved her. But I also cried for the world. In that moment, I experienced just a glimpse of the heart of God and what He sees and feels everyday. It was a moment where piercing agony interlaced with hopeful revelation and I understood; His Kingdom, was coming.

That Saturday, we invited a group of our students to join us as we worked on the renovations at the Ukukanya Life Care Center. 18 students were there, worshipping the Lord as they painted rooms, planted a garden, moved furniture and transformed a once abandoned building into a center of hope. As I observed the work being done at the center that day, I was moved by how much the Lord opened my eyes to see the meaning of His Kingdom coming, ‘on earth as it is in heaven.’ A couple of the rooms had marker graffitied on the walls with messages like “worried about sweety pie. suffering is sin thus cursed.” Another message wrote “very frustrated for my so called lover, she has been unfaithful to me!!” Before painting the walls, we scrubbed off every stain, every form of graffiti, and every trace of dirt until nothing of it remained. We then painted it with fresh paint and hung NEW messages on the walls made by AIDS orphans from the township. The cluttered rooms filled with trash and dirt were not just cleaned, but the floors polished, windows replaced, and new furniture was put in to welcome those who would be staying there. A concrete slab piled with fragments of stone, brick and concrete was cleared to make way for a growing garden. Everything was transformed from its dying state to have fresh life once again. In Ezekial, it is written, “The Sovereign Lord says: When I cleanse you from your sins, I will repopulate your cities, and the ruins will be rebuilt. The fields that used to lie empty and desolate in plain view of everyone will again be farmed. And when I will bring you back, people will say, ‘This former wasteland is now like the Garden of Eden!’” Sometimes I look around and see this world becoming a wasteland. Not always in a physical sense (although it is certainly true as well) but a spiritual wasteland where apathy and pride have become the easier route over compassion and humility. A wasteland where resentment is chosen over grace and truth compromised for pleasure. But in that same glance, I also see the fingerprints of God all over this world as He works to restore His land, bringing His Kingdom here on earth just as it is in heaven and changing this former, or current, wasteland to be like the Garden of Eden.

As we worked all day at Ukukanya, I thought about Carol and the suffering of this world, and how privileged I was to see God’s Kingdom coming right in front of me. Being in Africa and working with such extremes each day can be so difficult. One day you are holding the hand of a woman who just found out she has AIDS, and the next day you are rejoicing over the salvation of one of your students. I have seen the sick, the poor, the suffering, the dying and in the same year have seen transformed lives, renewed spirits, abundant blessing, and total joy fill the lives of so many people. But as the pendulum swings from one extreme to the next, I am constantly brought back to the beauty of the Gospel. One day, Christ suffers the sins of this world and is nailed upon a cross, drinking the cup of God’s wrath that he didn’t deserve. Three days later, he rose again, conquered death, and brought eternal life to those who believed.

One day, a beautiful woman named Carol died from AIDS. Three days later, 18 students brought Christ’s love, transforming the center where she worked, and saw God’s Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.

One truth, 19 stories

2009-08-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

As the new semester started up again, the Lord handed me a garden of girls and said “Make them grow.” The first semester we spent our time sowing seeds all over campus, meeting new students, and sharing the gospel broadly to whomever we met. After following each student up and briefly connecting with those we led to Christ, the semester break came quickly and disrupted our new and developing relationships. I had no idea what to expect at the start of this month, but I am blown away at how much the Lord has done through the lives of so many girls. Since the semester started at the end of July, I have been meeting with 19 girls, growing them in their walks with God by the grace of His Spirit working through me. Each girl has a story to tell. God has pursued each of their hearts with the same Love, same Grace, through the same Gospel...giving them each a beautifully unique testimony to bear witness to His name. I praise God for the work He has done and the story He is continuing to write in the lives of these 19 women. It is a privilege to share and introduce these women to you as I explain what my time on campus has looked like this past month and a half. So I welcome you to come and walk through the garden God has entrusted me with, and taste the fruit of the labor that is rapidly growing here in South Africa.

My Follow-Up Girls

Anele and Donna are two girls who recently prayed to receive Christ just before the semester holiday. Donna grew up in a non-Christian family whose religion was highly forced upon her. Her parents and grandmother encouraged her to baptize with the church as a little girl but Donna continually refused. “I don’t know why, but I just didn’t want to do it.” After saying several no’s in primary school, as a teenager, and all throughout high school, Donna’s family , pastor, and entire church began to look down on her. “You would think I would finally give in, just so people wouldn’t dislike me anymore. But for some reason I couldn’t do it. It was like something inside of me kept telling me to wait for something greater...but I didn’t know what it was.” Even though Donna had no idea what that “something greater” was, the Lord so clearly prepared her heart to fellowship with His, since she was a young girl.

Anele is Donna’s best friend. Both growing up in Pietemaritzburg and receiving the Gospel on the same day last semester, Anele’s story looks very different. When I met Anele for the first time and shared my personal testimony with her, I will never forget the look in her eyes when she said, “That’s what I want. To know Christ the way you do.” Anele grew up with a Christian mom but a father who highly discouraged any mentioning of God in the house. “Deep down, I think I’ve always wanted to believe in Christ, but I was too scared to. And I didn’t know how to believe in something I didn’t know much about, since Jesus was never allowed to be discussed in my family.” Heartbroken, I held her hand and asked if she would like me to explain how to have a relationship with Jesus. “Please,” she said with a smile. After two hours of talking on a little bench on campus, after many questions and several readings from Scripture, Donna and Anele together prayed to receive Christ. Since that day, I have been meeting with these two girls every week to go through a follow-up series to help them understand their new journey with Christ. There are four follow-up booklets total, each one designed to help new believers walk confidently in their faith as they understand the meaning and effect the Gospel has in their lives. It has been such a joy to watch the Lord grow these girls into women who not only accept and understand the Gospel, but who passionately desire to be changed by it daily.

My Beginner's Bible Study

There are 12 girls in this study, who join together every week to fellowship with one another and grow in their understanding of Scripture. For ten out of the twelve girls, this is their very first time to ever experience Bible Study and true Christian community. At the start of the semester, we began the Book of Ephesians and have been going through the book each week, focussing on three main elements during our time together. The first element, is committing to reading the Word each week. As we go through the Book of Ephesians, I have tried to lead these girls in observing the text, understanding what it means, and seeking to apply it to their personal lives. For many of the girls, this is their first time learning how to read the Bible properly and it is amazing to see the growth in which they have come. The second element to our study is committing to nurturing the relationships we have with one another. Many of the students in South Africa, especially in the Zulu culture, keep their lives very private and personal. Vulnerability and deep conversations are hardly ever seen due to the lack of genuine community the students have with one another. I remember the very first Bible Study I had with these girls, I asked questions to help them get to know one another. Not one person spoke. There was such a deep sense of fear, insecurity, lack of confidence, and trust amongst the group which I prayed for weeks that the Lord would break. If you met my girls now, you would have never guessed that that was the case. They have grown so much in their relationships with one another and are continually seeing the value of confession, vulnerability, encouragement, and accountability as the Body of Christ. The third element to our study is focused on having an apostolic mission. Each week, I remind the girls that God does not just want us to grow as a body of believers, but He wants us to take what we have learned and share it with the world around us. Whether through our words or our actions, we are called to be Christ to others. As we grow to become more like Christ through the studying of His Word and in the fellowship we have with each other, we can boldly step into the world and reflect His goodness and love onto others.
My Advanced Bible Study
At the beginning of the semester, I had the phone number of a girl named Miranda who signed up to be involved with Campus Crusade during one of our outreaches. I called her one afternoon to meet, hear her story, and ask if she would like to join the bible study I mentioned above. When I met for our first appointment, I looked around for a girl who looked as lost as I did. Suddenly I spotted a table with four girls smiling and waving for my attention. “Hey, are you Ali?! I’m Miranda, and these are my girlfriends, Sindy, Peng An, and Nomfundo. We all want to be involved.” I couldn’t believe it. The Lord just kept handing me more girls! I was so excited and spent that first meeting just getting to know their stories and sharing the vision of Crusade with them. But I was taken aback when I found myself talking very little and spending most of my time just listening to their excitement and eagerness to see the Gospel sent out. These girls all grew up in Christian homes and are committed to growing in their knowledge of the Word, growing deeper in their relationships with each other, and being used by the Lord to send the Gospel outward. The maturity of these girls and their spiritual understanding of Gospel led me to start a more advanced bible study with them. Since the start of the semester, we have been going through the Book of James with the same three elements mentioned above as our focus. Last week as we finished study, Miranda approached me and said, “Ali, this is my favorite day of the week. I know I sounded excited about my faith when I first met you, but I also felt like I was being torn for the first time in my life, deciding whether or not I wanted to truly commit to the Lord or go my own way. But since that day, I have grown so much in my faith and am challenged to be a better woman.” Praise God.

My Disciples
You have all heard me talk about Slie, who I have been discipling since I moved to Durban in February. She was my only girl at the beginning of the year, and now there are 18 more! I am continually amazed at the work of God. At the end of last semester, I challenged Slie to think of two other women who she would like to see grow into leaders and disciples of Christ. The Lord aligned both of our hearts to pursue Zandie and Tha. Since the start of this semester, I have met with the three of them on a weekly basis to challenge their personal walks with the Lord, build them up as leaders, and send them out to make disciples on their campus. During our times together, we have been learning the different names of God and studying how His character both challenges us as individuals and how it compels us to be sent into the world as Christ’s ambassadors. To see these girls grow independently in their convictions, in their strengths, and in their knowledge of who God is and has called them each to be, is one of the greatest privileges God has blessed me with this year. We have spent a lot of time seeking to answer the question, “Where is God calling me?” and I look forward to hearing how the Lord uses them next year, as they faithfully answer “Here I am. Send me.”

Mid-YEAR

2009-07-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

During the student's semester holiday, our team reached our half-way mark of the year. God blessed us with some time off to enjoy the country, relax, connect with our team, and reflect on all that God had done up to that point.

One of the exciting things I did was visit a Zulu village with traditional Zulu huts, dancing, and culture. Here are some of the pictures I took:

This is a traditional Zulu hut made of "ilala" which is a specific kind of tree, similar to a palm tree. Inside, there is a stone wall lining the edge of the hut for people to sit on. Men always sit on the right side and women always sit on the left. The reason for this is because men are always to be the protectors. If an intruder or wild animal were to approach the hut, the men would be able to protect the women faster and easier by grabbing their spears and aiming with their right hand. If they sat on the left side of the hut, it would be much more difficult for them to position themselves with their right arm to throw the weapon. All men are trained to use their right hand...so there are no lefty's :) One family will typically have at least 2 huts. One that is used for cooking and another that is used for dining, relaxing, eating, sleeping, and of course..partying.

These are the Zulu men wearing their traditional clothing, and demonstrating a proper marriage proposal. Men stand by the river, where women will commonly meet to do their washing, and decide whom they are most attracted to. They will observe the woman's personality, her interactions, her body and from there, decide whether or not to ask her for her hand in marriage. She may decline, but Zulu men are persistent. If they are able to persuade her, he then goes to her father and offers him a Labula, 11 cows, to buy his daughter's hand in marriage. If the father agrees, they negotiate a plan to move forward with the wedding.

Meanwhile, the woman goes to a fortune teller in the village and asks her to tell about her future marriage. The woman in the red is the fortune teller, and the woman next to her is the assistant, learning to be a fortune teller as well. The soon-to-be wife pays the lady and she puts together a recipe of dirt, plants, milk, fire..and whatever else her "mysterious mind" needs to predict the girl's future. If the fortune is good, the girl is pleased and moves forward in the wedding plans as well.

During the wedding ceremony, the woman receives a hat on her head that is shaped like a graduation cap, except with a round top. Beads line the outside of it, and it represents her commitment to her husband and the fact that she is now a married woman. It's the same idea as our wedding ring. During the ceremony, the men perform a traditional Zulu dance followed by all the women.

It's common that Zulu men have more than one wife. So this entire engagement process and wedding ceremony can occur multiple times for one man. But only...if he can afford that many cows.

For our team bonding, we all went to St. Lucia which is north of Durban. It's a beautiful place right along the coast, and our team of 8 had a chance to be back together again. It was a wonderful time connecting with the Pretoria and Johannesburg team, and hearing about all the wonderful stories God's blessed them with in their ministries. We had a great time evaluating the first half of our STINT year, reflecting on the things we had learned, and looking ahead to what God has stored for us as we finish the rest of our time.

We also had some great time to relax, enjoy the coast, and enjoy one another.

There were hippos and crocs everywhere!!

I made a solar system in the sand...

me and Amanda stood in the sun..

..and our team continued to look cuter every minute we spent together.

I am blown away at how fast the year has gone already! God has done incredible things and I praise HIM for His continued faithfulness. I am looking forward to all that lies ahead as we finish our Stint year strong.

The Reality of AIDS

2009-07-13T23:35:00.000-07:00

This past month, I had the opportunity to spend a signiﬁcant amount of my time working with the AIDS community here in Durban. The students at UKZN were on break for six weeks and we were allowed to spend that time however we wished. During that time, I committed to working in the townships teaching 10th graders about AIDS prevention, visiting AIDS clinics, and seeing the gospel sent in both word and deed. Prior to coming to Africa, I researched as much as I could about the AIDS epidemic that is known to be so prevalent in this country. Statistically, I may have known numbers. But when it came to real life stories, everyday experiences, and the depth of emotional turmoil that affects so many children and families...I knew nothing.

Still, I could never understand the weight of suffering that so many of these people carry. But my eyes have been opened and my heart continually burdened for the needs of this country, and for this world. To help explain, I've compiled a few different stories to share of the things I've done, the things I've seen, and the things which God is teaching me.

Life at the Crossroads

Kwazulu-Natal, South Africa has the highest concentration of HIV infected people in the entire world. Although our main goal is to share the gospel, it is nearly impossible to communicate the good news without reference to the AIDS crises happening right before our eyes. The Smart Choices workshop is designed to help combat the HIV epidemic by educating 10th grade high school students in the South African townships about their choices and their consequences. During the workshop, which is a total of 6 hours (2 hours for three days), students are given the opportunity to consider the choices they want to make about sexuality. They also discover that some choices may profoundly affect the dreams they have for their life. In the process of teaching them about HIV infection and transmission, we also spend time helping students realize that they are unique, valuable, and deeply loved. Towards the end of our workshop, we introduce the love of Christ and ultimately allow students to make a choice about their relationship with God.

Among the students we address, there are some who are HIV-positive, some who suspect they are infected, and others who have lost friends or family members as a result of the disease. The reality of AIDS has affected most, if not all of the children in the classroom. The expression on their faces and the heaviness of emotion felt amongst the students is both powerful and heartbreaking, and reﬂects just that. But to see the incredible change as they grow in understanding from the ﬁrst day to the last, is tremendous. And the transformation done in their hearts as they recognize God's love, plan and purpose for their life is remarkable. To paint a picture for you, at the beginning of our workshop we let students know that there is an envelope for them to put in any anonymous question they may have. It is available to them all three days that we teach and throughout our time, we answer their questions whenever possible. These were some of the shocking questions we received on Day One:

Is it true that if a 60 year old man sleeps with a 6 year old girl, he can be cured of HIV?

What should I do if my boyfriend forces me to sleep with him? How do I say no?

I think I might have HIV. Is there still hope for my life?

My uncle said that if you eat bark from this speciﬁc tree, you can be cured of HIV. Is that true?

My family member has HIV and we have one bed in our house. Can I get HIV too, if I sleep in the same bed?

I am a virgin, but somebody told me if I sleep with someone who has HIV, I can cure them. Can I?

As I read these questions during our break, I was devastated. I couldn't believe how misinformed these 15 year old students were about such a deadly disease. Nor could I believe how present it was in their lives. As we resumed our session, we addressed their questions and helped answer and hopefully reassure them of what was true. These were the questions and comments we received on Day Three:

I want to change my life and stop having casual sex. I want to save it for marriage.

How do I receive Christ in my life?

How can I tell others about everything we have learned?

I am not a virgin anymore, but can I be a virgin again starting today?

Thank you for changing my life.

God did amazing things in that classroom and I pray they will be lasting changes that will have a ripple effect into the future lives of many others. Praise God that He is the God of salvation, redemption, and beautiful transformation.

1000 Hills Community Center

As we were preparing to head to the AIDS clinic in the Valley of A Thousand Hills, we were told that 70% of the people in that speciﬁc valley were infected with HIV. When we arrived at the clinic, we were corrected and informed that in fact, 96% were infected. I couldn't believe it. As I stood at the entrance way, I saw a crowd before me of mothers, grandmothers, children, fathers, brothers, sons, and daughters all waiting to be seen by a doctor. My heart was so burdened by these people whose lives were slowly fading away. As I continued to walk through, there was another line ahead of me of nearly a hundred people waiting for a free meal; possibly their only meal for the whole day.

Grandmothers sat shoulder to shoulder on the benches alongside the clinic doors, waiting for their infected grand-babies to be given proper treatment. It seemed as if every corner I turned, I was tripping over tragedy as injustice slapped me in the face. I couldn't understand the heaviness of this kind of suffering. It was beyond me. "God, where are you in this mess?," my heart cried. And as always, He opened my eyes. I walked into a tiny shop connected to the clinic and saw beautiful table cloths, hand sewn pillows, beaded jewelry and little dolls..all made by the patients from the clinic.

The women at this community center are given an opportunity to use their skills to ﬁnd employment and make a name for themselves as they contribute to the society. They are taught different craft projects and are paid by the center as they try to make a living. A computer room offers computer classes to teach men and women more technical skills like basic typing and word processing. Next to the shop was a small daycare for infants and toddlers who are HIV positive or who are orphaned by parents who have died of AIDS. One child, Siyabonga (which means Thank You in Zulu), was born about a year and a half ago. Shortly after his birth, both of his parents died from AIDS. Siyabonga was tested immediately. With his parents having full blown AIDS, doctors feared how much longer this little boy hadleft to live. His results came back negative. Babies don't always test positive right away, so he went back for testing a few months later. He was negative once again.

One day, this boy will be told that his highly infectious parents gave birth to a miracle child.

As I walked back out, passing the clinic doors once again, I glanced at the people all around me. I remember seeing these two women whose laugh made the depths of my heart smile. They were SO joyful! Their laugh was so contagious, I began to giggle to myself. Where was God in this mess? He was right here.

HE understood

At Ukukanya, many immediate needs of the community have demanded our attention away from the center and into the homes of many families. The other week, we visited two homes and stepped into the lives of desperate people. One girl, I will call her Peace, is 26 years old and is HIV positive. She has never been to a clinic and has never received proper treatment or has even been seen by a doctor before. Her home is tucked away behind a one-way road and in between several dirt pathways. On occasion, her mother has tried to get her to a clinic in an emergency by pushing her in a wheel barrow up several hilly streets and through rocky dirt roads, to the nearest clinic about 4-5 miles away. Peace has two children,

a boy and a girl both under the age of 5. The three of them live with her mother in a one-room brick house, just big enough to hold a double size bed. They all sleep together with three other grandchildren, that Peace's sister left behind after her death. When we took Peace to the clinic for the ﬁrst time, we were informed that her case was severe. She was diagnosed with TB, arthritis, and other health conditions with AIDS underlying. I held her arm and helped her walk into the ofﬁce where she would receive her ﬁrst medication. I tried to muster up words to start conversation, but it didn't last long. "How are you feeling?" ..."I'm o.k., thank you." ..."Are you cold?" ...."A little bit, yes." I had no idea what else to say. After we dropped her off, Amanda and I drove the rest of the way home in silence. It made me sad that I couldn't ever tell this woman, 'I understand.' I didn't understand! I have never suffered nearly the same way she has. I want so badly to tell her I understand and I'm here to comfort her, but I really can't understand at all. But then I was reminded of Hebrews chapter 4, where it says that Jesus Christ understands all our sufferings because he faced all of the same trials and testings here on earth, yet he did not sin. Though I couldn't understand, Jesus could. And though the comfort I could give was so limited, the comfort of God was more than enough. And in that moment I realized..that is why God sent me here: to see and experience the suffering of this broken world that HE endured and died for...for my sake and the whole world.

planting, watering, and watching seeds grow

2009-06-22T21:12:00.000-07:00

Last year, a summer team came to share the gospel with students on the UKZN campus. Through the Lord's sovereign plan, one of the girls that summer was led to share the love of Christ with a first year student named Slie. After several conversations and a growing relationship with her, Slie began to question her relationship with God for the very first time. She was invited to the summer camp at the end of the semester, similar to the one we had this past month. As she learned more about what it meant to be a follower of Christ, it wasn't long after that Slie dedicated her life to the LORD.

Five months ago, Ryan, Amanda and I came to Durban to continue and grow the ministry that was reignited last year. I met Slie one of the first days I set foot on campus and have been discipling her ever since. Last month, as I mentioned in the previous post, we held a camp for the students at the end of their semester. The camp was designed for new believers, those interested in being involved in our movement, and the students already involved. The camp was staff-coached and student-led to empower our student leaders to step up in the movement which we hope to be self-sustaining in the near future. The week before the camp, I helped give Slie direction to write a talk that she would give to the students during the camp. The first night of camp, Slie stood up and spoke about the power of God in her life. Students were deeply moved and encouraged to see a fellow student share about the transformation the Lord has done in her life.

I sat there in the audience watching her speak and felt deeply grateful for the Lord's sovereignty in this girl's life, as well as mine. A year ago, she didn't know Christ. But she attended the same camp last year because a young woman cared for the salvation of her soul and was faithful to plant the first seed. This year, God privileged me to water her seed and now, she is standing before a crowd of students proclaiming the truth of the gospel. Truly, the work of our Lord is magnificent and it is the greatest honor and privilege to be used as an instrument for His glory as He grows the seeds which He allows us to sow and water.

1 Corinthians 3:6-7 says "I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. It's not important who does the planting or who does the watering. What's important is that God makes the seed grow." The girl who did the planting, nor I who did the watering are not important. But my concern is not whether or not I'm important. Joy comes from the simple fact that God used me for His Kingdom! He used me for that which truly is important, which is the growth of Slie's spiritual life. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

When old is made new

2009-06-22T19:43:00.000-07:00

My roommate vacuumed our flat the other day and as she proudly told me about the work she did, I couldn't help but to laugh at how excited she was. "Look at how good these lines look! Perfectly straight, parallel to one another..aren't you impressed??!" She was referring to the lines in the carpet. You know, the lines that the vacuum makes as you push it back and forth on the floor? Her over the top enthusiasm made me laugh, but I can't blame the girl for being excited about the transformation that vacuum lines made in our living room; prior to the cleaning she did, it looked awful! And anyway, aren't we all like that? Whether big or small, don't we all love seeing old things made new? A dirty carpet given clean vacuum lines, a cluttered desk re-organized, extreme makeovers, hurtful relationships reconciled, bad habits broken into a new lifestyle...the list can go on. But I think the reason why we love it so much is because transformation is a glimpse of the Gospel. God is constantly at work, transforming this world and the broken people in it, into what He originally intended it to be. This last month, God opened my eyes to see the beauty of the Gospel through the transformation of all things made new.

At the Ukukanya Life Care Center, we started the physical labor in reconstructing this abandoned building. I have never done such strenuous, intense, manual work before. Just to give you a visual of what the labor was actually like, you need to first understand that the materials we have available to us in the township are extremely limited. So unlike the hit TV series "Extreme Makeover Home Edition," where they have power washers, power tools, and fancy equipment..we make use of whatever is in front of us. We started on the tin roof where every inch was covered in rust. With 10 people, 20 hands, and a sheet of sand paper, we climbed on the roof and started to sand the rust with our bare hands. After two full days of sanding, we were ready to wash. We filled an old bucket of flour with dishwashing soap and water, and with three deteriorating mops we scrubbed the rooftop one panel at a time. If a mop handle broke, we attached a tree brach to the end and continued working. After mopping, we hosed the dirt away, but because water is so limited in the township we had to pray for the hose to even trickle water every afternoon. After mopping the center of each panel, there was still work to be done on the sides of each panel. So again, with 10 people, 20 hands, and 20 kitchen sponges, we used dish soap and mini square sponges to scrub the side panels of the roof until it was clean enough to paint on. Once the washing was complete, we were ready for primer and paint! It took us a full week to complete the entire roof. I remember as we were working on the last roof (there were three total), I stood with the hose in my hand, waiting for the water to start working again. Since it took quite a while, I decided to take a rest and lay on one of the roof panels. As I lay there with the African sun beaming on my face, my muscles ached, my back was sore, and my body felt weak. I was tired and exhausted, but as I lay on that tin roof looking up at the Africa sky and watching the clouds move with the wind, I felt the presence of the Lord surround me. What are you doing, my child? I felt Him ask. Why does God always ask us such simple questions? I never understand, but it's always the simple questions of the Lord that bring the most conviction. Well.. I thought to myself, I'm cleaning a roof. Of course God wanted me to see a lot more than that, so I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to listen to His voice. What was I doing? What did He want me to see?

As I shut my eyes, I heard not the voice of my Father, but the voices of beautiful, innocent children playing in the field below me. I heard little boys and little girls, most of whom are orphans or soon to be orphaned by parents dying of AIDS.

I heard the laughter of Zulu women and their powerful voices as they sang. I heard the suffering of countless gogo's (grandmothers) who hide behind their own strength as they care for their dying grandchildren. I heard a community crying for hope. I heard a nation pleading for God's intercession. And my heart was broken. You see, you are not just cleaning a roof. You are doing in small what I do in large, everyday. You are bringing transformation. This building once was new. It was built beautifully and with a purpose. But after time it was abandoned. It faced many storms and began to rust. The lack of care for this building shows in its cracked walls, broken windows, and trashed rooms. The people in this world are no different. The people who you are preparing these rooms for are no different. I have created each one beautifully and with a purpose, but they too have faced storms and suffering. But I have come to smooth away the rust. I have come to clean every inch of their hearts. I have come restore what was broken, heal what's been hurt, purify what's been defiled. I have come to restore, renew and redeem.

As I sat on that tin roof in the African township of Inanda, I felt humbled by the privilege the Lord has given me to be used by Him to bring physical and spiritual transformation in this place. I stood up and looked out at the view in front of me, and saw God's power to bring renewal upon a broken and desolate land.

Also this month, we've had the opportunity to organize campus outreaches and share the gospel with crowds of students who were eager to listen at the University of Kwazulu-Natal. Within two weeks, nearly hundreds of students were reached with the gospel. Twenty-five students received Christ into their lives for the very first time and are being followed-up to grow in their spiritual walks as a new disciple. At the end of the school semester, we held a camp for all the students who were interested in joining our movement. Fifty attended. If you can remember the prayer letter I sent in early March, our Campus Crusade movement started with a faithful five. In a matter of three months, God has multiplied that number by ten through your faithful prayers, our obedience to labor, and the mighty work of His Spirit. Praise Him for using us together for the glory of His name and the expansion of His Kingdom! Though there are countless stories of the transformation He's done in the lives of these students, I want to share one that touched my heart deeply; the story of Rose.

Rose is a first year student at UKZN. She lives with her brother and sister who treat with little respect. Rejected by her family and often pressured by her parents, she entered her freshman year with little hope for herself and her future. After school, she used to walk home and think about killing herself. "I had nothing to live for..there was no purpose in my life," she explained.

Rose had heard the gospel multiple times before, and the love that Christ had for her. But whenever God's name was mentioned, she ran away with an odd sense of fear that stirred within her. Just before the camp, Rose heard the gospel one more time. However, her heart was softened to the story of God's pursuit after her, and that day, she dedicated her life to the Lord. "I've never felt so alive! It's like...this amazing feeling, I can't describe it! I just feel like a new person!" Seeing the joy of Rose in the way she smiles, in the way she speaks, and in the way she lives..you would never be able to tell that she once wanted to end her life.

One thing I love about the work of God is that He not only moves on a grand scale among the nations and upon this earth, but He is deeply concerned about the individual lives and hearts of His people. In His grace, He brings transformation throughout the world. But more than anything, He is in the process of transforming each child of His into the glorious image of Himself. As I pray for the people of Africa and this nation as a whole, I pray that God will continue to transform my life with each breath I take. I'm seeing more and more that when our minds are transformed, our priorities change and we begin to see the world as God sees it. By God's grace, we should not remain as we are. But we should be clothed with compassion, abundant love, and joy in doing what is right before God. And so I pray, God, in your grace, transform the world. But begin with me, so that I can become an instrument for the transformation for which we pray.

Spreading the Gospel

2009-06-02T07:23:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of May, we had a group of 18 Americans come to be a part of the ministry here in South Africa with us. They stayed to partner with us at Ukukanya and on the UKZN campus for 6 weeks. It was such a blessing to have them here and to have extra hands reaching out, numerous lips to preach the Word, and more bodies to stand out on campus and make a difference in the lives of students. Being one of only three staff in Durban can often feel limiting to all that we want to do. Three people trying to reach out to thousands sometimes feels impossible. But God is good. And praise HIM for sending more workers into his fields! With the summer project, we were able to accomplish so much and spread the gospel to hundreds of students through multiple outreaches during the week. Here are some of the things we did:

Mental Toughness:

The majority of our students involved with Campus Crusade at UKZN are Sports Science majors. With their eagerness to share the gospel with their fellow classmates and faculty, we encouraged the idea and planned a Sports Science outreach. Amanda, my roommate, spoke in the gym on campus about "Mental Toughness." She used to be a black belt Tae Kwon Do instructor and shared a piece of her testimony with the sports science students about being tough in sports. It was amazing to see the students' eyes fixed on her and relating to her story in so many ways. "Yes, we need to be tough!" You could see the attitude in their faces as they proudly puffed their chests. But as Amanda carried on in her talk, she gradually began to reveal her understanding of her utter weakness. She explained to the students that her strength lasted her so long until she recognized the source of her strength came from the LORD. To be strong..to be tough..is ultimately to recognize your weakness and let God take control of your life. Students faces went from total self confidence to a deep understanding of being humbled. Amanda continued in her talk and began to share the gospel with these students and how the LORD completely changed her life. Afterwards, students stayed around eagerly waiting to discuss what they had heard. Some prayed to receive Christ, some re-dedicated their lives to Him, and some wanted to hold onto what they had heard and explore their spiritual lives for the very first time. Praise God.

Soularium Freeze Frame:

If you remember a while back, I explained an evangelistic tool called Soularium. To remind you, it is a set of 50 pictures that depict everyday life and emotions. As we show the pictures to the students we talk to, we ask questions to further our discussion and help them explore their spiritual life deeper. The questions are:

Which image describes your life right now..Why?

Which image do you WISH were a part of your life right now..Why?

Which image would you choose to describe God..Why?

Which image best describes what you've experienced spiritually..Why?

Which image best represents what you wish were true about your spiritual life or journey..Why?

When we use Soularium, we approach one, two, or three people and have a discussion with them in a more personal and private setting. It is extremely effective and allows us to really grow in our relationships with students on campus. SO, we decided to take the idea of Soularium and run with it on a much grander scale. What we did, was post all 50 pictures and the 5 questions onto poster board and displayed it in the main quad of the campus. Next to the posters, we set up a table with surveys to fill out answers to the five questions, information about campus crusade, and sign-ups to be a part of the movement. As students approached the poster of pictures in curiosity, they began to intently fill out the surveys. Staff and students in the movement stood around, available to those who had questions, those who wanted to discuss their answers further, and those who wanted to pray to receive Christ for the first time. In the middle of the quad, we acted out a few of the pictures to get the attention of others around us.

One picture, is of a man with post-it notes all over his head. Anele, one of our student leaders, stood in the quad while his friend Sbu held the number of the corresponding picture next to him. One by one, students came up and yelled aloud different post-it notes and taped it to Anele's body. The post-it notes were things like "Failed exam," "Fight with parents," "Broke up with girlfriend," "Need scholarship money," etc.

Another picture is of a guy dancing in the rain. One of the summer project students posed dancing with an umbrella while another held the number of the corresponding picture. As students passed by, they were drawn to our table and we were able to have hundreds of conversations with students about their spiritual life. It was such a success and an extremely fun way to evangelize with a little out-of-the-box thinking.

Think About It:

Every night at 8:00pm there is a South African reality TV show that is watched by every South African student, no matter who they are. When a student was first telling me about it, she said I was a complete alien for not knowing what she was talking about. In the Residence Halls, there is aTV room for students to watch movies, tv shows, relax, or just hang out. We decided to make most of the opportunity of having a large number of students in the TV room every night after the 8:00 show. So at 8:30, right after the show ended, we made an announcement for the students to stay and take part in watching a 10-12 minute Nooma Video. Nooma Videos are short videos made by Rob Bell, who is a pastor of a church in the States. He addresses many questions about faith and the Christian life. For three nights, we set up a big screen and played a different video for each night. The first video discussed sin in the world and in our lives. It talked about guilt and shame after doing something we know is wrong, but that there is a God who says there is nothing we could ever do to make Him love us less. The second video discussed suffering and the storms we face in life. It talked about walking through rainstorms and how sometimes we can't feel God is there, but He always is and promises to walk us through the storms in life. The third video discussed having a relationship with God and what it means to live in tune with the Creator of the Universe. After each video, we broke off into groups and led discussions with the students on a more personal level. It was amazing to see how willing they were to open up, how many questions they had about God, and how much the Lord allowed us to share the gospel through these videos.

I really learned what it means to seize every opportunity to share the Good News with those around us. It really opens the doors for incredible ministry, and opens the hearts of so many souls.

love feast

2009-05-25T09:17:00.000-07:00

A "Love Feast" is a traditional Zulu feast to say "thank you." These past two months, we had a summer project from the mid-south of America come help us with the ministry. As they were ending their time, the Ukukanya staff prepared a "Love Feast" to thank them and properly say good-bye. We had...

Samp and Beans: a thick type of porridge made from coarsely ground corn (a staple in South Africa) mixed with beans.

Dombolo: big, round dumpling bread (each one the size of my head, no joke) that is used to soak all the juices left over from the chicken.

Sweet Potato: delicious!

Amadumbe: another type of sweet potato cooked in their skin in the fire.

Beef Curry: dish of beef and vegetables cooked in a thick sauce of strong spices and served with rice.

Boerewors: huge spicy farmers sausage

Zulu Salad: tomato, onion, green bell pepper, and HOT (really HOT) green chili!

Cooked Spinach: fresh from the garden just planted outside

Tripe: also known as intestines (mmm..a delicacy)

Chicken Dust: fried chicken with seasoning (the seasoning is "dusted" on the chicken, hence the name)

Walkie Talkie: chicken feet and head (parts of the chicken that "walk and talk"). everything from nails, beak, and eyes are all still there for the FULL experience

...and let me tell you, we had QUITE the experience.

a triple-braided cord

2009-05-20T17:16:00.000-07:00

Zipo, Mdu, and Sbonele are three brothers who live in Inanda. Their mother died two years ago and their father has never been in the picture. Zipo is in third grade; he's the youngest. Mdu and Sbonele are in grade seven and eight respectively. These three brothers are the strongest, most purpose-driven, persevering, and hopeful kids I know. They live on their own in a little tin shack, caring for each other and trying to make it through one day at a time. Each morning they wake each other up, get ready, walk each other to school and come home. Their lives are simple yet their needs are great. Pastor Prince, who works with us at Ukukanya, visits the kids and checks up on them at school every now and then. The other day, Pastor Prince and I went to the boys' schools together. We spoke to the teachers to see how their performance and social interactions were going. My heart broke as each of the teachers expressed their concerns. "These boys cannot continue living on their own. They struggle to learn because nobody is at home to help with their homework. They come to school with dirty and wrinkled uniforms because nobody teaches them how to wash. They are failing their subjects. They have a hard time concentrating because they are so hungry. We try to help them as teachers, but it is no good if there is no help at home. They are our sweetest, most compassionate students. They try very hard..but they are still struggling." Each month, we deliver a food package to the three brothers to last them the whole month. We are trying our best to teach them life skills like washing clothes, bathing, cooking, and brushing their teeth. But the teachers are right. They need caretakers. Unfortunately, we can only do so much and legally things are very hard because these boys have no written identity. No birth certificate, no picture with their name, no record of their family...nothing. We went to a Social Services office the other day to help get these children on a waiting list for care. They are still in process, but please, please pray for God's sovereignty to reign over the situation. I barely know these boys, but I love them dearly. And I love them this much, I can't imagine the love our Father has for them. It may take a while, and it may be a rough road..but I know these boys will make it. As it says in Ecclesiastes, "A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." God has made these brothers a triple-braided cord. They are young and may only have a little, but they are rich in faith. And I know the Lord's loving hand is holding onto them tightly and blessing their hearts abundantly. For it says, "Blessed are those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. And blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." O Lord, bless these three boys. For theirs, is the Kingdom of Heaven!

a different kind of help

2009-05-13T08:56:00.000-07:00

As we are in the township of Inanda preparing for the Ukukanya AIDS hospice, we are often interrupted by the immediate needs of the community. With open gates each morning, we welcome anyone and everyone to come experience the love of God where we work. Although our hope is to finish repairing and putting together the building to open the hospice by September first, we simply refuse to ignore the daily emergencies, difficulties, and cries for help that walk into our center every day. Several times we were stopped in the middle of painting or cleaning, dropped our paint brushes and spent the rest of our afternoon with women, children, and families who desperately sought our help. 'Help' however, is not what I ever thought it would look like. At first, there was a sense of guilt for not helping in the way I wanted to. I wanted to do more for these people, but simply couldn't. There was only so much I could offer, so much I could provide, so much I could do. And none of it, I felt, made much of a difference. Their circumstances were the same..maybe slightly improved...but still the same. I had a hard time understanding how God wanted to use me and how I was supposed to help such helpless situations.

A woman walked into our center one morning, knocking on the doors of the empty rooms as if she was looking for someone. "Sawubona, can we help you?" we asked. "I'm looking for someone," she replied. No one lives or works at this center except us, Penny and Pastor Prince. So we asked her again, thinking she was maybe lost. "I just need to talk to someone.." she said, as she continued knocking on the doors of vacant rooms. I sensed worry in her voice and saw desperation on her face. I put my kitchen sponge down and gently put my arm around her. "Are you okay?" I asked. And immediately, streams of tears came down her face. "No, I'm not," she cried. We grabbed a chair for her to sit on, and helped her to her seat. The three of us sat around her, still not even knowing her name, and just watched her cry. I began to rub her back and ask questions, assuring her that we were there to listen and comfort her, and help in whatever way we could. As she began to open up, we learned that her little tin house, her only shelter, was being invaded. As she was walking home earlier that morning, she came upon her door and saw all her belongings thrown out of the house. A man who claimed to be the owner of the place decided to 'move back in' after 6 years, and with no warning or consent, he came into her house and kicked her out before she even got home. Buyi is about 25 years old and lives with three children. Her family died years ago, except her sister who was her best friend. About two years ago, her sister passed away as well and left her with her three kids to care for. Buyi is now alone in the world, caring for her sister's three kids, and left no home. I wish I could've given her a place to stay, but I couldn't. I wish I could've offered her a new home and some money for her and the children to live off of, but I couldn't. I wish I could've done something to change her circumstance, but I simply couldn't. All I could do was sit there, rub her back, listen, cry with her, and pray. But as I said to her, "I wish I could do something more.." she stopped me from speaking any further. "I never imagined people like you coming to sit with me. I never thought someone would care enough to listen and even cry with my pain. And then to pray for me, I don't even know what to say. Thank you..that is enough."

When we help, we think we have to fix. But to help, means to serve. And to serve..is to love. Loving isn't always fixing. Sometimes it's just lending an ear. Sometimes it's showing compassion. And sometimes...it's suffering alongside someone. To cry with this woman, to suffer with her in her moment of distress, to speak truth in her life, and to pray over her in the name of the LORD, was the best help I could give her. If Jesus was here, I feel like He would've done the same.

We were able to direct her to the head of the township who will help her find housing. But please pray for Buyi and her three nephews. Though our immediate help seemed limited..I know through prayer we can continue to serve and love her as we trust God to do the rest.

Out in the Wild

2009-05-11T15:42:00.000-07:00

Ryan, Amanda and I went on a Safari at a game park called Tala in Durban. It was a smaller game park, so there were no cats. BUT, we saw amazing and beautiful other animals. Here are some of the pictures I took:

Mother and baby rhino

ostrich..terrifying

giraffe drinking water

the zebras were my favorite

me and amanda!

Penetrating Through

2009-05-10T16:05:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago, I came home a little past 10:00 and had forgotten to leave at least one of the lights in the house on. My roommate left in a hurry that weekend and left a lot of her stuff lying in the middle of the floor that I wasn't prepared for. Walking into the house, I think I bruised myself five times in five different places. The house was pitch black and I literally couldn't even see my own hand in front of me. The light in the garage is seriously the brightest light next to the sun, and I was able to turn that one on when I got home. So before stumbling over another step, I cracked the door open to the garage to let some light through the house so I can find some switches. The darkness immediately fled and was just enough for me to find my way to my room to put my bags down. When I came back into the living room, the space was much brighter as the door had swung open a little wider without me noticing. A couple hours went by until I decided to get ready for bed at midnight. But when I went to turn off the lights in the living room and hallway, I realized I had never turned them on. The light from the garage that shone through that little crack in the door, literally transformed my house from pitch-black into bright as day. One small light through one small crack, made a world of a difference. I share this with you, not to brag about my super bright garage light bulb (although I'm quite impressed with it). But to share with you what God was speaking to me that night. Living in a world, and specifically being in a country where AIDS, violence, death, poverty, witchcraft, sorcery, hopelessness and fear reside, there is a darkness that covers the land. But being in a country where God's light is present, I have hope for the darkness to flee. It's encouraging to know that God calls me to be a light in this world, and though I might just be a crack in the dark, as more people join in prayer, support, and faith, the crack soon becomes an open door where God's light penetrates every room, every corner, every nation, and pierces every heart. Already, God's light is penetrating through the darkness, and I praise Him for opening my eyes to see it.

Ukukhanya Life Care Center:

Since coming to Durban and leaving the ministry at BEAM Africa to the rest of our team in Pretoria, we have prayed for God to provide us with another opportunity to serve the practical and physical needs of Africa. Of course God's plans are so much greater than ours, as He not only provided us with a place to work but an opportunity to launch the Ukukhanya Life Care Center as the very first AIDS hospice in the Ntuzuma township. Ukukhanya means "light in the darkness" and comes from John 1:5 where it reads "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it." An abandoned one story building with 12 rooms and a huge lot, Ukukhanya welcomes the cries of the community with its open and rusted gates. The Life Care Center was started by Penny, an American woman from Kansas whose husband died of AIDS in 1993, and Pastor Prince, a 25 year old passionate Christ follower who has been preaching the gospel in churches since age 15. The story of how this woman from Kansas met this township preacher is incredible as God so clearly paved the pathway for their divine friendship and purposeful partnership to start this ministry. The vision they have is to show the love of Jesus to people affected by AIDS and to spread the Gospel by providing physical, emotional and spiritual support. The prayer behind the vision is to provide home-based care for those in need and to be the hands, feet, and eyes of Jesus to help and find the sick. Practically what we want to do is develop a hospice, as right now we only have an abandoned building turned into an office and kitchen with 12 vacant rooms of dust, dirt, broken windows and a few mice. But with some paint work, some bleach, a lot of manual labor and a covering of prayer, we want to turn this desolate piece of land into a place where people can be loved, kept clean, and die or live in dignity. Some will come to just get stabilized and others will pass here peacefully. We will love them, nurture them, and care for them through home-based care workers who we need to find and hire to do 24/7 care. We will offer nutrition and network with area hospitals, clinics and volunteer doctors for the medical care of the patients.

Our other prayer is for the children. One of the biggest problems is that family members will die of AIDS and millions of children will be left behind with no where to go and no one to turn to. We want to have a plan of action to offer monthly food parcels to children and families waiting for grants. We also hope to start a program where an "Auntie" can go and check on children living on their own and bring them in for fellowship. They will help with homework, life skills (like washing clothes and bathing), and a hot meal and prayer. Outside of the 12 rooms, there is an old patch of cornstalk. The plants are dead and weeds have taken over. But soon it will be dug and re-patched into a mini soccer field and playground where children can enjoy themselves during visitation of family members. The vision is BIG, but God is already moving. Though the rooms aren't yet available, Ukukhanya's open gates have welcomed so many children, sick mothers, tired gogo's (grandmothers), and sick babies whom we have been able to care and provide for already. Two weeks ago, Penny received a phone call administered by the hand of God, from a man who offered to donate 24 beds, side tables, and a few dressers. There is a lot of work to be done, but God has given me a vision for this place that I am so excited to be a part of.

Slie and Zethu:

There are two women in our movement, Slie and Zethu, whom I've mentioned a few times before. Amanda and I have been doing a bible study with these girls on a weekly basis and building them up in their faith in hopes to see them sent out to reach others. The four of us have been meeting once a week for the past two months and have recently felt the Lord calling us to split. Instead of meeting as four, Amanda and I would disciple one girl each and lead them in leading others. When we first presented the idea to the girls, they were hesitant to break the community we had built with the four of us together. But after asking them to pray about it, we joined again the following week to hear their thoughts. "I don't want to split, but this campus needs Jesus and that's more important. That's the point, you see. We must split to reach more people. I want to see God moving and He will do that best if we each go out," was Zethu's response. Slie looked at me and with a smile said, "I am nervous, but I hope that God can use me. I know so many friends and classmates who I want to share God's love with. I hope He can use me." A couple days later, Slie and Zethu both separately and individually spoke to their professors asking permission to hand out a survey during class to 150 students to see who wanted to be in a bible study. Eagerly they came back with names of girls, some they know and some they've never met, to share the Gospel with. Their enthusiasm for the Gospel continually amazes and challenges me. Slie is a Business major which is one of the top majors and most competitive at their school. Every Business student who I've talked to is in the major purely for the money. There is very little enjoyment, very little attention to ethics, and very little care for what their future will bring outside of material gain. Zethu is a Physics major and daily surrounded by students and professors who impart their atheistic views upon her. Textbooks, lectures, and exams shout against her and the thousands of other Science students on campus, against the faith in a Creator God. But no matter how dark the campus and the classrooms may be, I am encouraged to know that Slie and Zethu are light bearers unafraid to shine. Through Zethu's survey in class, 54 of her classmates indicated their desire to be contacted for a Bible study, more information, or a desire to know God personally. Praise the Lord..His light is shining.

the campus Prayer Room:

Because prayer is such a vital part of seeing the hand of God move and yet it's so easily and often overlooked, I wanted to start a prayer room on campus for anyone and everyone to come to. Since we can't have a permanent room for every day of the week, I reserved a small classroom on campus as "the prayer room" every Tuesday from 1-4 pm. I was so excited to get a room on campus because it usually takes weeks if not months to reserve a room. But God provided this 20-seater classroom in the middle of campus the very next day that I requested it. Being on the creative side and having teacher-like tendencies, I wanted this room to look welcoming, organized, peaceful, and intimate. So before officially opening it for prayer, I went into the room one afternoon to check out the size, the set-up, and begin to brainstorm my vision for what it would look like. As I opened the door, I uncomfortably walked in on a couple tucked in the corner of the room making out.

One thing about this campus is that sexual behavior, pornography, and inappropriate displays of affection are very common. Although it's disturbing to witness, it breaks my heart deeply. Girls are hungry for attention and young men lack self-control, yet their is no conviction. Apparently, this room I reserved for prayer, I later learned was a room used by many couples on campus during breaks between classes. God clearly had a plan. The following week, I opened the prayer room and set it up for the first time as I envisioned. From 1-4 I just sat and prayed. A couple students from our movement came in from time to time and occasionally a new face would peek in to see if the classroom was empty, shocked to see it set up for prayer. Though not many students came in the first day, I felt God's presence heavily resting upon that room. I prayed for the campus, the students, the professors and different majors. I prayed for the dorms and student housing. I prayed for those who knew the Lord and those who didn't. I prayed for the couples on campus and for God to lead them to this room where He could bring conviction, grace, and abundant love. And as I prayed, God gave me this picture of this little room containing His glorious presence and light, that would soon shine throughout the campus. Every time a prayer was lifted, the light would get brighter and brighter. Every person who enters the room will enter into God's presence and walk out radiating it unto others. I pray this room will become a sacred place for prayers to be lifted and heard..and for God's glory to shine brighter every day because of it.

Isaiah 58 says "Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon." I am humbled to know that God has given me a piece of His light to shine in this world. I am encouraged to know that by feeding the hungry and helping those in trouble allows that light to shine. I am challenged to see how many physically and spiritually hungry people there really are in this world and how much darkness truly does exist. But I am strengthened in knowing that light scatters darkness. I am deeply moved to see light penetrating through this country in countless ways already. And I am hopeful to see it one day saturate this earth.

Thank you for helping me shine God's light here in Africa. May you continue to shine it wherever you are, and wherever you go...every day.

desperate people for a Holy God

2009-04-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

I know that God sent me to Africa to touch and bless the many lives in this country. But it goes without saying that He has sent me here for much more than just that. In this place, He is teaching me more about Himself, more about myself, and more about His people. As I look back at this past month the first thing I think about, more than ministry or the different events that have happened, is how much the Lord has broken me. In my attempt to fight against strong spiritual warfare, to fight against the desires of my flesh and the powerful attacks of the enemy, God has brought me to my knees time and time again. This month has been a battle as we sent one of our team members home for the year, as the permanent split of our team has required a lot of work to resettle into our various locations, and as personal struggles have felt heightened more than ever. But in the midst of all the tension, God has made me desperate for Him. And I realize that a God who is relentless for His people, a God who insists on pursuing us every moment of every day, wants us to be desperate for Him...so that we can cling to Him tighter, depend on Him greater, and fall in love with Him deeper.

The more I become desperate for the Lord, the more I see the desperation of souls around me. Recently, we've had many opportunities to minister in several different ways to the community. A few weeks ago, we partnered with one of Campus Crusade's side ministries called Crossroads. It is an AIDS Education program for high school students living in townships. The day we attended, they had a Crossroads Seminar for 12th grade students in a township called Bester, Inanda. There were about 50 students crammed into a tiny classroom with broken windows and trash bags used as curtains. The heat was unbearable, but you could tell the students were used to it. Sitting amongst them, I realized that AIDS has personally affected nearly every boy and girl surrounding me. I felt a heaviness in my heart and though deeply sympathetic, I also felt somewhat inadequate in my ability to relate with them. Yet as we began to share about the disease, the gruesome affects it has on the physical body, the science of how it destroys the immune system, showed videos of personal stories and testimonies, allowed students to ask questions, have discussions, participate in interactive skits, and share the gospel with them, I gazed around the room and saw how desperate these students were for healing in their lives. Throughout various parts of the seminar, students cried, girls held each other in agony, boys sunk in their seats convicted, others stood tall determined to be different, some you could tell were numb, while others were filled with grief and fear. It was a room flooded with emotion of every kind, but a room filled with a longing to find hope and healing. I couldn't relate to these students on the level of AIDS, but I could relate to them in their needfor healing. As I have called out to the Lord in desperation many times this month, asking Him to heal my heart, He has continued to show Himself faithful. God is a God of healing physically, but most importantly, spiritually. As I looked into these students eyes and saw their need for healing, I saw my own need, as well as the need for all of God's people. We live in such a broken world with sickness, pain, suffering, and hardship. No matter how big or small it may be, every wound upon a person's heart cries out for healing. And praise be to God, the One who brings healing to it all.

Two weeks ago, we organized an outreach on Point Rd in downtown Durban. When we explained our plans to one of the women on staff, she responded with a fearful, "Do you know what Point Rd is known for?" We did. For years, Point Rd was one of the most dangerous parts of Durban. You couldn't walk outside in broad daylight unless you literally had nothing on you. No one was caught walking after sundown. And no one was ever caught walking alone. During the past three years, Point Rd has increased its security and made every effort to keep violence and drugs off the street. Though still not the safest part of town, it is finally safe enough for us to come in and offer what the people there need the most: love. During our outreach, we went into several different apartment buildings and asked families door-to-door how we could be praying for them. I have never seen anything like the homes we visited. The ceilings leaked with sewage water, kitchens were just big enough for one person to stand, a sink, and an overhead cupboard with one shelf, children's blankets and towels were found on the floor as a substitution for beds, and windows to the outside world overlooked the street-side view of depravity. As we knocked on each door, not one family turned us away. Each welcomed us into their home, offering us anything they had. With each family, we sat and listened to their stories, laid our hands on them, and prayed. At the end of our time, we met as a team and discussed which families we felt had the greatest need for food, and we returned for a surprise visit to offer them a food parcel that would supply a family of four an entire month's worth of food. As the families opened their doors for a second time to find us once again, they were taken aback with overwhelming joy. It was an incredible experience to be able to bless them, both physically and spiritually. These families were desperate for food, and though I've never had to question whether or not God would provide me with a meal, I know what it feels like to be desperately hungry. This month, I have been hungry for God and His Word, hungry for His Spirit to fill me, hungry for His presence to overwhelm me, and hungry for peace and truth to reign in this world. I know there is a physical hunger for the people here on Point Rd and for people all over Africa, but there is a desperation to be spiritually fed that only God can satisfy..which I truly believe He will.

Feeling desperate isn't always the best feeling in the world. You feel weak and often hopeless. But when you are desperate for something, you feel a great need and deep desire for it. There is without a doubt, desperation in the world and a very real sense of desperation here in Africa. But if we can change from feeling desperate and hopeless, to being desperate for God...how much glory and joy that would bring our King. When we no longer plead for physical healing but desire a deeper healing in our souls so much more. When we hunger not for earthly things but hunger for God's love and mercy to flow in our lives. When we become desperate for His presence and thirsty for His Spirit. Then, we will really see the hand of God move. For He wants more than just to bless us physically, but is eager to bless us abundantly with Himself. Although this past month has been difficult and stretching in my faith, my hope is that God will never stop breaking me. I pray that He will always increase my need for Him and that as I desire more of His will in my life, I will learn to cling tighter onto His truth.

Please pray with me, that in my desperation for Him, I will be used to help a world of desperate people draw closer to a Holy God.

the first and greatest commandment

2009-04-11T09:03:00.000-07:00

Jesus says "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind."

I've thought about this a lot lately, as one of the biggest battles I've faced on STINT is the battle between my flesh and spirit. I know I love God and I know that nothing could ever take that love away. My faith in Him is steadfast and my commitment to Him will never be withdrawn. Seasons of hardship will come, but my faith will never leave me. Yet..I don't always act that way. Far too often, what I believe to be true deep in my soul doesn't reflect itself in my heart or my mind.

My soul, is the part of me that is protected. The moment I gave my life to Christ was the moment I let my soul belong to Him. We often say the word "saved" when we talk about salvation, and though Jesus never said it, I think it portrays the redemption we receive through faith fairly well. We are saved into a life with Christ for all of eternity, and we are saved out of a life of death and eternal separation. My soul, which receives salvation from the Lord, loves Him deeply and intimately.

My heart, is the part of me that is filled with all my emotions. It is what carries my personality, my passions, and my desires. My heart holds my likes and my dislikes, my comforts and discomforts, my joys, pains, and sorrows. At times, it is aligned with my soul and the Spirit within me, as I reflect upon my salvation and the grace of my King. These are the times I love the Lord my God with all my heart. But often, my heart is wooed by the things of this world. It is distracted by life circumstances and torn by the many experiences I face. The enemy entices it with worldly comforts and desires instead of Godly ones. The salvation of my soul remains the same, but the state of my heart is summoned in another direction.

My mind, is the part of me that is filled with my thoughts. In my mind, I store wisdom, knowledge, have my opinions and make decisions. I think deeply and question things. My mind is where I dwell on different concepts and ideas, and where I believe things to be true or false. When my mind is focused on the truths of Scripture and attentive to the Spirit, I am typically aligned with my heart and soul as well. But like my heart, if I let my mind take it's focus off the Lord for even a moment, it becomes prey for the enemy to attack. Scripture is twisted and lies somehow are confused with truth. Healthy opinions suddenly turn into judgment, wisdom becomes foolishness, and mindless small talk somehow becomes more engaging than profound conversations about eternity. The salvation of my soul, again remains the same, but the state of my mind loses focus.

I think it's far too easy for us to go about our lives knowing our souls are protected and secure in our salvation, saying "I love the Lord my God with all my soul" and never love Him with our minds and hearts. When we pray "Father, fill me with your Spirit" we need to invite Him to take full control over every part of our life. We need to make our every thought, emotion, word, and response available for Him to move.

This battle between my flesh and spirit, is none other than the very battle I choose to step into when I shift the gaze of my heart and mind off the Lord and onto the things of this world. I may love the Lord my God with all my soul, but it is when I love Him with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind, that He is reflected in the life that I live.

This is the first and greatest commandment. I don't think the God of the universe takes it so lightly as we do.

content.

2009-04-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

We have become too content with God. We have become too content with His Word, too content with His Majesty, and much too content with His Holiness. There is a part of the word 'content' that is seemingly good; it is the part that defines one's satisfaction. But there is another part of the word that is defined as "not wishing for more." Too often we hear of God, we read his Word, we go to church and even make a point to pray to him daily..and with that, we think we are satisfied. We think that it's enough. We don't wish for more and we come up with the excuse that we are merely human and unable to comprehend or grasp the fullness of God, so we stop trying. On occasion, we recognize the depth of Scripture, hear a powerful sermon on a Sunday morning, experience a piece of His glory before a sunset or in the midst of His creation, and humbled we step back and say something like "Wow. God, you are good!" Yet our life continues to go on with very little change. It makes me wonder, have we really experienced God's glory? Or have we just experienced that which satisfies us for a moment?

As I read through Revelation 4, John describes the glory of God with words I'm sure are simply inadequate to describe what the throne of God is truly like. Yet as I try to picture his description the best I can, I am awestruck at the majesty of my Lord. In Exodus 34, after the Lord passes in front of Moses, showing him His glorious presence, it says that "Moses immediately threw himself to the ground and worshiped." In Isaiah 6, I read again the description of God's glory and how Isaiah is able to stand in His presence. The Israelites used to hide themselves from God as He passed over them, fearing they would die if they saw God. Isaiah actually stood in front of God and lived! And like Moses, the moment Isaiah experienced the glory of God and His holiness, his only response was to worship Him.

If I am to truly experience God's glory and understand the weight of His holiness, it should cause me to do more than just acknowledge his greatness with insufficient words that require no effort to move towards holiness. Experiencing His glory and feeling the weight of His holiness should bring me to my knees in worship. It should cause me to fall with my face down and my hands open. To experience His glory is to draw closer to a holy God. Scripture says "Be holy, for I am holy." When we experience the glory of God, we are automatically faced with His holiness; and He gives us that privilege so that we can become more holy as he is holy. God doesn't reveal His holiness to us so that we can acknowledge Him and then continue in our sin. He reveals it to us, in His grace, so that we can draw closer to Him and be transformed to be more like Him. Yet we miss the point. We are awed by His goodness, singing "Holy is your name," and then go on with our lives.

I am guilty of it. I sing "Holy is your name" and yet I believe 'holy is my name.' In my contentment with God and in my lack of desiring more of Him, I have become hungry for more of myself. In feeling "satisfied" with my habitual worship, I have started to worship lesser things. I have robbed Yaweh of His glory and have taken advantage of His grace. I have let my pride, my selfishness, and my flesh take control over the Lord in my life. I have gone to church, I have read His word, I have prayed to Him daily, I have followed Him to Africa, I have sacrificed my things..yet I have not offered Him my life. Psalm 51 says "You do not desire a sacrifice or I would offer one. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God." I may have done all these things, but they are nothing but a filthy rag to the Lord..unless I offer Him my heart.

Today, the Lord has broken me. But He has broken me for the sake of His Glory. So I will give it ALL to Him:

Praise God, who is relentless for His people!

Praise God, who is filled with unfailing love!

Praise God, who is gracious and merciful!

Praise God, who is faithful to use us, a broken people, for the glory of His name!

Praise God, who pursues us, no matter how far we have run from Him!

Praise God, who is just!

Praise God, who hears our prayers and answers us!

Praise God, who knows us by name and has created us for His pleasure!

Praise God, who sent His only Son to die on our behalf, so that we may know Him and live forever in His presence!

Praise God, for there is none like Him.

All glory, honor, and praise to a holy and mighty God.

I often hear people praying "More of You, Lord, and less of me." But Jesus says in the gospel of Luke, "Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." Jesus wants everything. He wants all of us. But we often try to give him less, and only parts of us. My prayer today is, "All of You, Lord, and none of me."

for the sake of one

2009-04-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

After the conclusion was made to send Dan home, an emotional battle stirred within him. "Why would God send me all the way to Africa, to send me home again?" Dan has wrestled with this question in his heart for as long as he's wrestled with his physical health. My heart goes out to him for all the turmoil and suffering he's experienced, but I cannot hide the joy inside of me for being aware of the Lord's purpose in sending him here these past three months. During Dan's time in Pretoria, he boldly proclaimed the Gospel in word and deed to those around him. Though his physical health may not have been well, it did not stop the Holy Spirit from working through Dan to reach his campus and this country.

Aubrey is a student at the TUKS University who Dan met one afternoon while sharing his faith on campus. Seizing the opportunity to speak to him about Jesus, Dan began to share his faith openly and honestly. Just minutes into their dialogue with each other, Dan began to realize that Aubrey's entire life was about to change in this very conversation. An atheist who made a deliberate decision to never get involved with "spiritual things" because God simply didn't exist, began to open up to the truth of Jesus Christ for the very first time. Asking questions and soaking in the beauty of the gospel, Aubrey's heart began to soften as light pierced through years of darkness in his life. For weeks, Aubrey attended two Campus Crusade meetings every Tuesday, hearing the same message at both meetings every week. Continuing to follow-up with Dan, he willingly joined a weekend retreat that Dan invited him to. Aubrey prayed to receive Christ that weekend and has found great joy in getting to know God now as his Father.

Every week since the two of them met, Dan met with Aubrey to challenge him in Scripture and share more about the truth and joy of his salvation. The two of them started off as strangers, and have become both friends and brothers in Christ.

Although Dan may have been here for only three months, the Lord was faithful to use him to bring one student into the Kingdom. Now through Aubrey, many others will also come to know Christ...and through them, even more. Jesus says "There is great joy in the presence of God's angels when even one sinner repents and returns to God." So it is true with Aubrey, and we rejoice that Dan was here to be used as a part of his story of salvation.

8

2009-04-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, our team of nine dwindled to eight as we sent one of our team members home for the remainder of the year. Dan, one of the guys serving on the Pretoria campus, has been battling with serious digestive issues for the past two and half months. We've been in South Africa for a total of three. Nearly the entire time he has been here, Dan has been physically unwell, making several trips in and out of the hospital, taking a series of antibiotics, and spending days in bed and off campus. After attempting everything possible in-country, the decision was finally made to send him home.

We are sad to see Dan leave, but we pray that it will be the best for a quick recovery. Please pray to Yaweh Rophe, the God who heals, to send His healing power upon Dan. Pray that doctors would be able to find out what's going on in his body and that he would be restored to full health. Pray that Dan would see the Lord's hand in all of it, and that we would continue to surround our teammate and friend in love and prayer, even from across the world.

We love you Dan!

Durban ministry

2009-03-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

here is a video to show you a little bit of what Durban is like,

in the city, on campus, and in the hearts of some of the students we've met.

enjoy!

Two Greens and a Yellow

2009-03-16T06:39:00.000-07:00

About a week and a half ago, Ryan, Amanda and I flew back to Pretoria for ten days to do a team evaluation on the split. It was so good to be with everyone again and to connect with one another as a team of nine. It is so evident that God is moving among this nation, on so many different levels and in so many different ways. Here is what is happening:

DURBAN

In Durban, I've shared most of what God is doing on our campus already, but I will gladly say again that the ministry is blooming. This past weekend we held an evangelism training conference for leaders of different movements to come to. Leaders from Crossroads, an AIDS education ministry for schools in Africa, came to the conference as well as leaders from the church and other local organizations nearby. The conference was held on the University campus so that after the training, those who attended could practice what they've learned and share their faith with students. Since the training was done on campus, it was an easy way to invite student leaders to come as well. I challenged Sli and Zethu to come and to bring friends who might be interested. Zethu had a wedding to go to that weekend but stopped by on her way out, just to make sure she could learn as much as possible with the time that she had. Sli was free, and walked into the conference with ELEVEN friends following her! One of the girls, Louise, attended the conference and didn't say a word to anyone. Quiet as a mouse, she spoke only to say 'hello' and introduce her name. Other than that, not a sound. Yet her focus during the meetings and her intent expressions when reading the Word of God painted something so beautiful about her. When it came time to putting it all into practice, Louise was found sharing her faith with everyone she came in contact with. Her mouth couldn't stop moving. She shared with such passion, joy and excitement. It reminded me of the disciples in Acts 4:20 when it says they "couldn't stop telling about everything they have seen and heard." That was this girl. This is multiplication. Someone poured into Erika, who came from the States and was sent to pour into Sli. Sli has been captured by the Gospel and has found new life in Christ, and is now sent to pour into others. As she is learning and growing in her faith, the Lord is using her to bring others to himself. Sli has found 11 girls and is determined to see them grow. Louise is one of them and has already been sent to see more come to know Him. It's one of the beautiful ways of how God works. When He calls us to go, he sends us to call others to go as well. And those who are faithful to go will find that more are to be sent. Until everyone in every nation, has heard the name of Christ.

JOHANNESBURG

In Johannesburg, it is amazing what God has done through Ashley, Kendra and James during their month on that campus. Previously, there were no staff members on the campus. No Campus Crusade ministry whatsoever. The three of them set foot on the University of Joburg and had to work from the ground up, finding students and building a movement on their own. When we met up with them for the evaluation, each of them had six students each that they were discipling on a weekly basis. They have had an outreach, are starting to form bible studies within the dorms, and James has been given an amazing opportunity to reach out to athletes on the campus as well. As he ran into the coach of a club basketball team, James shared his vision for the campus and his hope to see God raise up students and sent to make disciples of South Africa and all nations. The coach with eyes wide open and a smile stretching from cheek to cheek, eagerly invited James to assist him in coaching the club team. "That is exactly what I want for these boys! They need men in their lives who will point them to Christ. Will you help me do that?" James chuckled and gave an honest confession that he has never played basketball other than "messing around" on the weekends with friends. "Don't worry," was the coach's response, "I'll do the coaching, you do the mentoring. We need you." I am so, so grateful that James is here to pour into these men's lives. As I spent time with him and the team in Pretoria, he shared the frustration of seeing the result of poor fatherhood in these students' lives. "Men need to learn how to be men!" He told our team. "They are so good at being abusive, they are professionals as stealing, drinking, gambling, cheating on their wives, and abandoning their families. They have become so good and so talented at everything bad. You should see it in these kids eyes when I ask them to tell me about their fathers. Not one of them has a good thing to say." As you meet student after student, you will find that the majority of them don't have a dad. Some will say they've never met him, some have watched him walk out, and others know him as an abusive drunk, but never as "dad." It breaks my heart and I know it breaks James'. But I praise God that He is our Father, and that He wants to show Himself as a perfect Father to each of these boys. I am so grateful for the Joburg team and for their faithfulness to serve on that campus. Truly there is a need, and the Spirit has sent them there to meet it.

PRETORIA

In Pretoria, the ministry looks much different than that of Durban and Joburg. But there is no doubt that God is still moving. For years and years, Campus Crusade for Christ South Africa has been wounded, hurt, and divided. Through the apartheid, corrupt leaders, unfaithful staff and national directors, it has been a challenge to find complete restoration in the movement. Being the first STINT team to come to SA, we walked into a fairly messy ministry that is trying to stand back on its feet. The campus staff in Pretoria, a married Afrikaans couple, have been a part of Campus Crusade for nearly 15 years and have seen it both thrive and crumble. As the ministry has faced its peaks and valleys, so has this couple as it has affected their hearts and views about ministry in great ways. This past month, the Pretoria team experienced a very demanding and unwelcoming environment while working with the staff. Unfortunately, they have a difficult time receiving any help from Americans. Dan, Rylan, and Stacey have tried to be learners of the culture and offer no "cultural" advice or "American" input, but rather Biblical advice...yet because they are American, it will not do. Their times with students have been wonderful and they each are discipling a handful on a weekly basis. However, the division among the staff risks a division within the ministry and among the students. Currently, the Pretoria team is praying for fruitful conversations with the campus staff and national director. Within the next week or so, the campus staff, Jaquie (the national director), and the three on the Pretoria team will have a meeting regarding expectations and hopes for change. If campus staff decides they do not want our team to join them, we will need to dust the feet from beneath us and move to a more effective and fruitful campus. But if they do, we will need to work for unity as Satan intends to greatly divide this ministry. There is a lot going on on the Pretoria campus, but God's hand is in the midst of it. I am still grateful and will still praise the Lord for sending a team there to work. Because of it, old wounds are resurfacing and a broken past is being exposed. I pray that our team can be used to expose the darkness of this ministry into light, and to bring healing and restoration among the staff. Already, there are steps being made in that direction and I know God will be faithful to finish the good work that He has started.

In regards to the split, the Durban team is a green light. We're going, and we're going for the rest of the year! We have packed our bags and will leave nothing in Pretoria. Our closets are empty, rooms cleaned..and we will settle into Durban as soon as we find accommodations. Johannesburg is also a green light. The ministry will continue on that campus and the three who are on that team will move forward in building a movement that will last for years to come. Pretoria is a yellow light. They will continue the ministry and be faithful to serve and submit to the staff, cautious and aware of a potential change. Depending on how the meeting goes with the campus staff and Jaquie, they will then decide whether or not the TUKS campus is green to go, or red to stop and move elsewhere. God is doing a work in this nation and so evidently on these three campuses. Pray with us, that God would continue to move in mighty ways and that we would continue to make ourselves available to be used and sent as the Spirit leads us.

Batubamodimo

2009-03-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

Batubamodimo means God’s people in Sutu. If there is one thing that God has shown me this past month in Durban, it is His people and the purpose to which He has called them. Upon arriving in Durban, Amanda, Ryan, and I walked out of the airport with no place to live, no way to get around, and very little money in our pockets. Gary Price, the campus director and only staff member on the Kwazulu-Natal campus picked us up from the airport and drove us to a nearby Guest House which he paid for our stay for three nights. Blessed by his hospitality and warm welcome, we still had no idea where we would be staying for the rest of the month. On Sunday morning, we went to Gary’s church who were already informed about our situation. Immediately after the service we were surrounded by people in the church body who were offering us accommodations in their home, offering us their cars, willing to carpool with their spouse just so they could give up a car for the three of us to get around. People we had never met laid hands on us to pray on our behalf, couples who already had very little to offer, offered all they had, and families invited us to their homes for dinner, coffee, and prayer. As I was reading Paul’s account in Scripture, he says that the community of believers “met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together each day…and shared their meals with great joy and generosity – all while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people” (Acts 2:44-47). I have never seen a church body that reflected the community in Acts so well. This was a picture of God’s people, not because we were standing on church grounds, but because the way the church lived out their faith brought God so much glory.

Working on the Kwazulu-Natal Westville campus in Durban, the community of Christ looks not much different. Though these students may not have homes, cars, money or food to offer, they have a burning passion for the Lord and a compelling love that overflows in their language, attitude, and lifestyle. One night, a student involved in the Campus Crusade ministry invited us to his residence hall for a “weekly service” that he and his friends organized out of an eagerness to see change in the hearts of students. Under no organization or ministry name, no club or student group affiliation, these students who faithfully gather in the TV Lounge of their dorm every Thursday night, come and hold a service for anyone who wants to hear the Gospel, praise the Lord, study the Word, receive prayer, or just worship in community. As I walked into the room, I immediately felt like I was in the house of the Lord. Zulu worship filled the room as I could hear the souls of these men and women crying out through their voices as they sang. After worshipping in song, the students allowed time for anyone to stand up and share God’s work in their lives. You could share about the things He is teaching you, His Word that spoke to you, ways He has shown Himself faithful to you, things you need prayer for, a song to worship Him in, or anything else. As each student stood up, the first thing they would say is “My name is ______, and I am a child of God,” and then they would share whatever was on their heart. Some would stand up and sing, some read Scripture, some prayed out loud, or shared a story of God’s work in their life. As each student stood up and shared, I could feel a crowd of angels over us, rejoicing in the worship we offered the Lord. It was so beautiful the way each student stood up, no matter what the condition their heart was in, and celebrated the fact that they were children of God. Some cried out to the Lord in frustration, some sang with uncontrollable smiles, some prayed with such authority and expectancy, but they all were were filled with the joy of their salvation. 1 John 3:1 says, “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” These are students who understand the depths of that truth. They are students who are unashamed to proclaim it loudly and live by it boldly. This was a picture of God’s People…who knew what it meant to love God in community, and to share it publicly with those around them.

Zethu and Sli are the two girls pictured above who are currently involved in the Campus Crusade ministry on campus. The first bible study we had, I asked the girls what they wanted to see happen on their campus. Without a pause to (Gary, his wife Cheryl, Ryan, Me, Amanda) think about it, Zethu spoke with faith and conviction. “I’ve prayed about how God can use me…I want one third of this campus to have heard about Christ by the end of the year.” Encouraging her to trust God with this vision, we told her to faithfully follow what He’s called her to do and to wait expectantly for God to move. Sli and Zethu are committed to following hard after God. They are committed to loving each other, living in community, studying the Word, and sharing their faith…all for the Glory of God and His Kingdom. When I look at these two girls, it is without question that they are God’s people. They love Him with all of their hearts and it shows with every part of who they are.

I have seen God’s people in the church, God’s people on campus, in the community, and amongst my team. Spread throughout different contexts, they all have one thing in common: Christ’s love compels them. My hope is to see more of God’s people coming together in Durban and all of South Africa…more people identifying themselves as “a child of God” and joyfully living in that truth...I want to see God’s Kingdom furthered, His glory magnified, and His people sent.

behind the door

2009-02-27T23:50:00.000-08:00

Wednesday morning, Amanda and I went to campus to pray and prepare for our first bible study with Sli and Zetu. Across from where I was sitting were three girls who clearly noticed our accent and kept looking over at our conversation. With each glance they gave, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging. Amanda and I walked over to their table and asked if we could sit to chat with them for a while. "Please!" they giggled, and scooted over to make room on the bench.

After introducing ourselves and explaining a little bit of our ministry on their campus, we naturally dove into a spiritual conversation. That afternoon, I happened to be carrying a Soularium with me, so we used it to go deeper into our discussion. Soularium for those of you who don't know, is an evangelistic tool created by a student who went to New York on a Summer Project. It is a set of 50 pictures that depict everyday life and emotions. As we show the pictures to the students we talk to, we ask questions to further our discussion and to help them explore their spiritual life deeper. The questions are:

Which image describes your life right now..Why?

Which image do you WISH were a part of your life right now...Why?

Which image would you choose to describe God...Why?

Which image best describes what you've experienced spiritually..Why?

Which image best represents what you wish were true about your spiritual life or journey...Why?

The questions and pictures prompted great conversation as we were able to learn about the condition of these girls' hearts immediately. One minute we are complete strangers and the next

minute we are learning about the very things that consume their minds and hearts and how these things lead the lifestyle in which they are a part of. When we asked the girls to pick a picture that described their spiritual journey currently, Nicole picked an image of a girl looking into a small glass window behind a closed door. "I feel like I know there is something bigger out there, but I just don't know what it is. It is like I'm behind a door and I'm looking in, but I just haven't opened the door yet. If I can open the door, I'm sure I will experience something so BIG...like a real God. But, I just don't know if I'm ready or how to do that. But I do feel like there is something. I just haven't experienced it yet." As the other two girls, Cleo and Yugushri shared their thoughts and the pictures they chose, my eyes kept steady on Nicole. Focused and absorbed into the conversation, I could sense the wheels turning in her heart. Silently I began to pray for Nicole and for God to reveal more of Himself in her life.

The next question we asked was which picture best described the spiritual life they desired. Without a moment of hesitation, Nicole reached out her hand and within seconds grabbed her photo. She held it close to her chest with the image facing towards her body as she waited for the others to choose their picture. When I asked her which image she chose, she slowly revealed her card with a timid yet radiant smile stretching across her face. The picture was of a blooming flower with pink and white petals coming off the page. "The way you talk about having a relationship with God...I want that too. I want to grow and be like a blooming flower. I want my spiritual life to be beautiful like this.."

As we continued to share in our conversation with the girls, we continued to pray for their hearts to be softened to the Gospel. We ended up not finishing our conversation as the girls had to head to class, but we swapped phone numbers to meet again. Exchanging hugs and thanking them for their time, Nicole left with words that brought so much life to the Scripture I've read so many times before. "I didn't think about God before..but now I can't get Him off my mind. Thank you."

Romans 10:14-15 says, "But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, 'How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!'" It's easy to forget my purpose here sometimes. There are days when I feel discouraged or lost in my dreams for this broken world that seem so far from hopeful. But then I meet students like Nicole...students whom I never would have met if God didn't send me here. Students who never took the time to think about God and the love He has for them, simply because they didn't know He existed. Students who now get to search their hearts and hear about the name of Jesus; the name above all names, who brings life to those who put their faith in Him.

Pray with me for Nicole and students like her, who are standing behind the door of God's glory. Pray that they would stop simply looking into the window to the beauty of what lies in front of them, but that they would lift up their hand and knock...so that the door may be opened. Pray that God would continue to send us to people and places in Africa to tell people about who He is, so that they might hear, and believe.

Never Will I Know

2009-02-24T19:26:00.000-08:00

Every morning as we leave our house, we drive around the corner to see the same line of shanty homes with children walking to school, some wearing tattered shoes and some bearing the heat of the asphalt with their young calloused feet. Women stand in front of their homes hanging up the family's clothes and sweeping their front yard with large palm leaves. Men walk miles and miles on the side of the road, pulling a wooden crate filled with scraps from a junkyard that could be used for his family's home. I watch the sun beat on their backs as they determinedly walk uphill to the townships where they live. Young girls strap their baby siblings around their backs with cloth or towel as they walk along the dirt roads balancing a week's worth of groceries upon their head. Every morning on our way to campus, I see a glimpse of their everyday lives. Dressed with fresh clean clothes, a different pair of shoes than the ones I wore the day before, after a shower and full breakfast..I peer out my window and know that I will never know what it is like to suffer the way they suffer. I will never be in their shoes, and I will never understand. Even if I spent a week, a month, or a year in a township living the lifestyle they live...I will never know. The other day, it was pouring rain and as we drove back home with our clothes mildly damp and discussing the minor accident of leaving our bedroom windows open during such weather, I couldn't help but notice the four wooden walls of a house shifting its place in the mud with the plastic tarp roof collapsing from the pressure of the wind and rain. Water leaked through the cracks of the walls and that one room, where they cook, eat, and sleep was flooded. Never...will I know.

I am grateful to be living amongst the reality of burdened life in which I cannot avoid every time I step outside. As I pass by the scenes of their everyday lives, the Lord grows within me a thankful heart for that which He has provided me with. I never want to grow comfortable to the things that I have. I never want to think for a moment that I deserve them, nor take for granted the simplest blessings He's given me. It amazes me how those who have little are grateful for much. Yet those who have much, are often grateful for so little. I pray that God will never let me grow numb to the sufferings of this world and I ask in a spirit of humility that He will never let me become too comfortable with my life. May I always recognize each blessing He has provided and worship with gladness and thanksgiving. For the air I breathe, the food I eat, the health of my body, the family I have, the shelter He gives, the love He bestows, the creation He surrounds me with..for the promise of His of Word, for the beauty of the Gospel, for His unfailing grace and perfect peace...I am grateful.

eager hearts for a revived campus

2009-02-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

So far, we have spent two weeks on the Kwazulu Natal campus here in Durban, meeting students and leveling the foundation for which a ministry can strongly be built. Campus Crusade for Christ used to be a thriving ministry on this campus years ago. Students were raised up as leaders and sent to unreached places all over Africa. The community and fellowship among the students so evidently reflected their love for Jesus Christ and year after year the Lord added to their number. But somewhere, somehow, the ministry began to slip away. I don't know the history of it all, but for whatever reason the life of the Christian community has been sucked dry. For the past 5-6 years, Kwazulu Natal's Campus Crusade has been one man standing. Gary Price is a campus director from Texas who moved to South Africa nearly 30 years ago with his wife Cheryll. The two felt God calling them to this place and with the leading of the Holy Spirit have willingly moved all over the country with the addition of five boys over the years. They have now been in Durban for the past 13 years as Gary has committed to stay until life is brought back into the hearts of students and onto the campus of Kwazulu Natal.

Last summer, a group of American students came to Durban for 2 weeks to help see restoration in the ministry on campus. With their time so limited, they left trusting the Lord had used them to plant seeds that would grow a harvest. Truly, the Lord used them as we now get to be a part of that which they have already sown. It is encouraging to see how the fruit of this ministry today, is born out of the faith of those students.

There are four student leaders on the campus, all whom were raised up by the summer project last July.

Zetu is a second year student who grew up in a Christian home but never desired to follow the Lord with her own life. Living on the fence of enjoying the world's pleasures during the week and playing "Christian" on Sundays, Zetu finally reached a point in high school when living for the world became exhausting. After dedicating her life to the Lord, she began to see the joy in following Him. When she met with one of the missionaries last year, God instilled a vision of revival within her. Zetu is eager to see change in the lives of others and wants to be used to bring students the joy she now has in Christ.

Sli is also a second year student who became friends with Zetu through a leadership conference they attended with last year's Summer Project. Sli's father left her and her mother when she was born. "My mother is my greatest hero," she proudly told us. Sli, her brother and sister were raised by a single mom who was committed to loving and caring well for her children. Sli never understood the decision her father made which left her confused and angry for years. But after hearing the Gospel and the unfailing love of her heavenly father who has not stopped pursuing her since the day she was born, Sli's understanding of "father" has completely changed. She committed her life to Christ last summer, with the group of students who came in July, and has grown a passion for the Lord that is beautifully contagious.

Sbu and Anele are two guys in the movement who are also student leaders, committed to seeing the ministry thrive and lives transformed. Our second day on campus was the very first weekly meeting that Kwazulu Natal's Campus Crusade had held in years. Roughly 10 students showed up and the four student leaders (Zetu, Sli, Sbu, and Anele) were ecstatic. Coming from a Campus Crusade ministry that was nearly 800-1000 students in the States, it would be easy to gather these student leaders and give them an outline of how to run and build a student ministry on their campus. But that would completely defeat the purpose of why we came. We did not come to replicate an American ministry. Nor did we come to build a "weekly meeting" of 1000+ students. We didn't come to tell these students what to do or how to do it. We came to see lives changed. We came to see students raised up as leaders for Christ. We came to share our hearts with them and make ourselves available for them to share their hearts with us. We came to draw students closer to the Lord and grow their passion for Him in such a way that would reach the entire campus, and the world. I want to see students eager to live a life worthy of the Gospel and passionate for sharing the love of Christ with others. Already, God is doing just that, and more.

At our first weekly meeting, the 10 of us gathered in a small classroom, filling maybe a fifth of the room. We told the students to let the Holy Spirit guide them and asked them to lead the entire meeting. We sang one song a cappella, and the voices that filled the room sounded like a chorus of heavenly saints. Anele led us in a devotional about trusting in the Lord and finding our hope in Him. As we read the Scriptures together, I peered around the room observing the students with their tattered bibles. Intently reading the Word of God and following along in the passage, they nodded their heads saying "amen" with such passion and conviction. Mhuzo closed us in prayer after about 30 minutes, and chills ran through my body. He prayed with such fervency and faith..he prayed with authority and boldness, expecting God to move..he prayed with such humility and reverence, and I was drawn to a place of worship. Right now, the students involved in the ministry on this campus are few.. but they are faithful. They want to own the movement and take action to see change. I am so excited to see God work in and through these students as it is a privilege to be here with them.

feels right.

2009-02-15T17:41:00.000-08:00

Ryan, Amanda and I arrived in Durban about 5 days ago and have been running around trying to learn the city, start ministry, and re-settle in. This past week has been a hectic and busy transition, but a wonderful one nonetheless. Immediately after stepping off the plane and out of the Durban Airport, hills of lush vegetation and vibrant shades of green surrounded me. Among the hills were scattered homes of every color, made with anything from brick, cement, wood, tin, even old fabric or heavy cloth. The streets were clear of traffic and the sky was a bright blue contrasting beautifully with the green that surrounded it. Durban sits along the eastern coast of South Africa and the ocean breeze can be felt amidst the tall trees and grassy hills. My heart smiled as I watched the women outside of my window balancing heavy baskets of fruit on their head and children dressed in their school uniforms holding hands and skipping home along the sidewalks paved with red dirt. The feel of Durban is nothing like that of Pretoria. Pretoria was constantly busy, with people rushing to go places, taxis honking on every street corner, tall buildings and new plazas, beautiful homes and private schools lined up with little nature left in its place. There was construction blocking the roads and traffic at every time of day. Pretoria is a city where everybody is engaged. I loved being in Pretoria that first month, believe me...it was wonderful and God did incredible things and still is! But Durban, lovely Durban...has been so good for my soul. It's quiet, quaint, and absolutely beautiful. The Durban mentality is, "go with the flow," "take it easy," "don't you worry about it." Since coming here, I feel like I've been able to take a moment to slow down and care for my heart. Some people need the city to feel connected, I need Durban. It feels so right to be here. I can't wait for God to move through me..but also in me as I spend my time in this place.

Pray with me

2009-02-05T12:50:00.000-08:00

In preparing to leave for Durban, we have some big things that need to be lifted up to the Lord in prayer. Please pray with me as we are trusting Him for His provision and protection over our team as we move.

- housing: We have already paid for our housing in Pretoria and are keeping the house for team functions when we come back as well as the other girls on the team who are not moving. Because of that, we are praying that the Lord will provide us with free housing within the first three days of moving to Durban. When we first arrive, we will be living in a hostel that is already paid for, but our stay has been made available for only three days. We will be meeting members of Gary's church (who is the campus director at Kwazulu Natal) and asking the church body if they would be willing to open up their home to us missionaries, free of charge. Please pray that the Lord provides.

- transportation: Like the house, we have already paid for team cars which are going to stay in Pretoria with the two other teams. Along with finding free housing, we are praying to find a free car that can be donated to us during our time there.

- health: The humidity in Durban is one of the highest in the world. After speaking to Provani, who grew up in Durban, we learned that the air is extremely difficult for asthmatics to breathe in. Amanda, who will be joining our team of three, has really bad asthma and must take extra medication and precaution while in Durban. She is really nervous about the move but we are praying and trusting God for the health of her body while we are there. Another health concern though this might sound a little silly, is that because of the humidity, mosquitos are practically unavoidable. Unfortunately, I just so happen to be allergic to mosquitos..so I would love prayer for protection in that as well.

I know these are big prayers, but we serve a Big God. Of course we pray His will be done, but we pray and ask that our requests made to him would be aligned with his will. The less time we spend on housing, transportation, and re-settling in..the more time we can spend on the campus doing ministry and reaching out to students. Pray that God will provide and that we would be trusting in Him during this transitional time in our ministry.

Preparing my heart

2009-02-05T12:49:00.000-08:00

As I am getting ready to leave in about five days now, I have been praying for the Lord to grow my passion for the people in Durban. Interestingly, it was a prayer He had already answered months before I left for South Africa. During the winter of 2008, just before I left the States, I felt God growing my heart for India. I didn't know why, but my passion continued to grow as I already started to envision the Lord sending my husband and I to do His work in that country one day. As I began to research Durban in preparation for my ministry there, I learned that for years, Durban has been considered "the India capital of South Africa." 40-50% of the city is made up of the Hindu faith, another 40-50% is Muslim, and roughly 5% are Christian. This past week I have spent a lot of time learning and trying to understand both Hinduism and the Muslim religion. It has been interesting to immerse myself in learning a completely new faith of which I was not familiar with ever before. I actually have enjoyed it a whole lot as God has taught me so much of his perfect Love through Jesus Christ. Through learning about these faiths, He has revealed to me the beauty of the Gospel in ways I've never seen it before. I pray and hope that as my eyes have been opened after stepping into the curtain of these faiths, so too will the hearts of these Indian students who have lived behind them their entire lives.

In addition to learning about these religions, I have also tried to learn about the Indian culture; much of which is made up of their family faith, but also including many traditions and customs as well. The Indian community is extremely relational. Much of their identity comes from their family whom they are closely connected to, as well as their faith. They enjoy community and the fellowship of individuals coming together. A part of building relationships is eating lots of food! They love to cook and partake in the sharing of meals. And according to Provani, a campus staff in Midrand who grew up in a Hindu family and came to know the Lord through Campus Crusade during her college years, if you learn to play Thunnee...you are "in the club". Thunnee is a card game, very complicated and apparently known by every Indian on the face of the earth..or so Provani claims. Last night, Amanda, Ryan and I went to Provani's house to learn the game.

Having learned a little bit about the culture and having the game of Thunnee up my sleeve, I'm feeling ready as ever for Durban. Okay, maybe not ready as ever. I know I have so much more to learn. But the Lord is growing my heart for the people there, for the Indian community we will get to be a part of, and for the ministry we will experience in Durban. Pray with me as I spend these next few days preparing to go. I am very excited.

Until the Spirit stops us..

2009-02-04T21:47:00.000-08:00

God has sent us here to minister to the community in which we live, to BEAM, and to the University of Pretoria, and in each of those places we have seen His hand at work. In just a couple days however, He will call only three of us to Pretoria, three of us to Johannesburg, and three of us to Durban. Before I go on to explain, I want to share this piece of Scripture with you that has been both a comfort and encouragement to me in this big and sudden transition

of our ministry:

Then they went from town to town, instructing the believers to follow the decision made by the apostles and elders in Jerusalem. So the churches were strengthened in their faith and grew larger every day. Next Paul and Silas traveled through the area of Phygia and Galatia, because the Holy Spirit had prevented them from preaching the Word in the province of Asia at that time. Then coming to the borders of Mysia, they headed north for the province of Bithynia, but again the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them to go there. So instead, they went on through Mysia to the seaport of Troas. That night Paul had a vision: A man from Macedonia in northern Greece was standing there, pleading with him, “Come

over to Macedonia and helps us!” So we decided to leave for Macedonia at once, having concluded that God was calling us to preach the Good News there. (Acts 16:4-10)

One thing about Paul’s ministry that I have learned and been greatly challenged by is that it was always Spirit-led. If you notice in Scripture, they go from town to town, growing people in their faith and continue to do so until the Spirit tells them otherwise. Coming to South Africa, I knew that our ministry would be at BEAM and TUKS in which we have been a part of this first month and seen much fruit; praise God! But God’s plans were so much greater than these places alone. As I've mentioned before, there is 11 campus staff total, spread thin across the entire country of South Africa. Having nine of us placed all on one campus is more than half of their entire staff in one location. After a lot of prayer and direction from Jaquie, we felt the Lord calling our team to split and be sent to effectively reach the country at large. 6 people on the team will continue to live in Pretoria, but three of them will commute 3 days/week to Johannesburg to do ministry on the U.J. campus, while the other three remain on the Pretoria campus as it is now. The other three on the team, Ryan (my team leader), Amanda, and myself will pack our bags and move to Durban on February 10th. Durban is about 8 hours (driving distance) southeast of Pretoria. There is only one part-time staff member on the Kwazulu Natal campus and our hope is to come alongside him to help start a movement of students who will reach others for Christ. I’m sure you can imagine, but there are a lot of changes that come along with moving away from our team and into a very new ministry. But my hopes are high. God has called me to South Africa…He never specified where. He just told me to go, and so I came. And I will continue to go, until the Spirit tells me otherwise.

meet Jaquie

2009-02-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

Jaquie is the national campus director for Campus Crusade for Christ S.A. She was born and raised in the States but felt the Lord put it heavy on her heart to move to South Africa to help build movements here on college campuses. She is the one that gives direction to all the campus staff throughout the year and helps cast vision for the future of this country through her work with Campus Crusade. She is an amazing woman who is committed to following the Lord and letting the Spirit lead her in leading us. Last week, we went to Johannesburg for a huge staff meeting with all the campus staff from the entire country. By "huge" I mean there were 20 of us, which includes my team of 9... so if you do the math, there are only 11 Campus Crusade staff spread thin across the entire country.

During our time in Johannesburg, we looked through Scripture to observe Paul's ministry and discussed how we could use Paul's ministry to help lead our ministry. We brainstormed our strengths and weaknesses as a movement, the opportunities we had and our potential as a ministry, and the different threats or obstacles in which we needed to consider. We also spent time creating a mission statement for our team at large, with the intention of achieving our vision of "building spiritual movements everywhere so that everyone knows someone who truly follows Jesus Christ." Here is what we came up with:

"Launching movements in every tertiary institution by developing students to become leaders who impact their campus, community, and world for Christ."

Launching movements - Our hope is to not just reach the people we meet, nor this country alone, nor this generation and stop. We want to launch movements so that as we reach one student, they will reach another, who will reach another. We want to see multiplication and movements being created so that the Good News of Jesus Christ continues to be spread with or without us here.

Every tertiary institution - As a campus ministry, we want movements to begin on the college campus with college students. This can mean a Graduate school, a four-year University, a two-year community college, or a Trade School (which is very common for many South African students). With a completed education and a young fervent spirit, we believe that these students are the ones who can and will make a difference as influential leaders.

Developing students to become leaders - As we hope to see movements being created and students lead others, we believe that students must be poured into, challenged, and encouraged to become leaders. Through discipleship and the teaching of the Word, our desire is to help lead students into a closer relationship with God as they learn what it looks like to love and follow Christ with all their heart, mind, and soul.

Impact their campus, community, and world for Christ - As we see students grow in their faith, our desire is to see them reach others for Christ. Whether that means reaching other students on their campus, reaching their families, their communities, co-workers, friends, or being sent into the world..we hope that every student who is reached for Christ will in turn impact those around them, and the world.

With that, I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for us this year. Our hope is big, but our God is even bigger.

A fiery furnace in Welpies Res.

2009-01-30T18:24:00.000-08:00

The residence halls, or dorms, in South Africa function very much like Sororities and Fraternities in the States. Each "Res." (which is what they call it), has its own name, own uniform, even own anthem to represent who they are and what they stand for. Each Res. competes with the others and every student must go through initiation before moving in. The first week for the freshman is especially intense as some of the guys are required to shave their heads, march in straight lines while they chant, girls must wear outrageous costumes and earn "Res. points" by stealing pieces of costumes from other girls. Nearly every student signs up for a Residence Hall, considering many of them come from towns far away and choose to live in a dorm. Those who still live with their parents or who live in an apartment or flat near the campus have the option to join a "Day Res." which allows them to participate in all the same functions and socials without living on campus.

Elsie and Khumo are two freshman girls who just joined the Welpies Res. Dressed in their matching uniforms, I approached them to ask a little bit about how their first week on campus was going. With their openness and willingness to share, they began to vent about the back-to-back testing they've had to do all week, the stress of registering for classes and finding all the buildings, and the fear of being a new freshman on campus. When they asked what I was doing in South Africa, I shared with them the purpose of our ministry and watched their eyes light up as their hearts sighed with relief.

"We need your help!" they said.

Elsie and Khumo began to share the routines and traditions of their Residence Hall and the difficulty of being a Christian in the midst of it. The TUX campus and many of its buildings, including the Welpies Res., was built in the 1800s. For years, traditions have been carried and passed on from generation to generation as each new class honors the history of their residence hall. In the Welpies Res., bronze statues of lions, birds, and zebra stand in the front entrance of the dorm. Each resident must bow and worship the statues upon entering and leaving the building, thanking and praising them as gods.

"The Scriptures say not to worship any other god but what are we to do? We are just freshman and if we do not bow down to them, everyone will make fun of us and we will probably get in a lot of trouble. If nobody is around, we don't do it because nobody is watching us. But every morning when we all walk to class together, we cannot get away with it. We must do it, but I know that Jesus is my only God. I do not know what to do."

I think the most exciting thing about hearing their plea, was seeing their faith. I was able to encourage them by acknowledging their desire to follow the Lord and together we sat huddled under a little roof that sheltered us from the rain as we opened up the Word of God. Reading through Daniel, we looked at the boldness, courage, and faith of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who refused to worship King Nebuchadenezzar's gold statue. Encouraged by the faith of these three biblical men and reminded of the protection that the LORD had on them, Elsie and Khumo decided to stand up for their faith and talk to the Residence Advisors that afternoon.

Three days later I received a text message from Elsie:

"We don't have to worship the statues anymore :) Thank you, and praise God!"

"Praise to the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego! He sent his angel to rescue his servants who trusted in him. They defied the king's command and were willing to die rather than serve or worship any god except their own God." -Daniel 3:28

what...are you saying?

2009-01-28T13:12:00.000-08:00

Two incidents happened today that made us look like clueless Americans in some desperate need of help.

The first:

I went to a coffee shop this morning on campus. As I was putting the lid on my cup by the counter with all the sugar, cream, straws, etc.. a girl looked at me and kindly asked if I would hand her a "servi."

"Excuse me?"

"A servi"

Having no idea what a 'servi' was..I went with my best guess, which was another 's' word...sugar.

Wrong.

"No...a servi." Her voice got a little more stern.

Hmm, next best guess...another 's' word...straw.

Nope. Wrong again.

"A servi!" This girl was losing patience and I started to get nervous.

I pointed to the cream. Wrong.

I pointed to the lids. Wrong.

"Oh my soul...a servi!!"

Okay..she was angry.

I pointed to the stir sticks. Wrong again.

I was sweating by this point.

"I'm so sorry!" I said with a helpless laugh.

Finally.. I pointed to the napkins. Of course, the last thing.

"YES! A servi!"

As I handed it over, she grabbed it from my hand and started to mock my cluelessness with her friends.

I thought it was hilarious, but apparently she didn't. But in all honesty.. she could've helped me out a bit. Clearly, I wasn't understanding "servi" ...so maybe repeatedly asking for a "servi" isn't the most helpful? A gesture would have been nice, maybe a little sign language, another description of the word..? Anything.

Anyway.. servi means napkin. Now I know.

The second:

Amanda stood in line today at the school cafeteria during lunch. A young man came up from behind her and asked, "Are you in kue?"

"Huh?" was Amanda's response.

"Are you in kue?"

"In kue?"

"Yes, in kue. Are you in kue?"

"Ummm, I don't know."

"Are you in kue?!"

"I dont know. What's kue?"

"Are you in kue?!"

"I know that you are asking me if I am in kue.. I got that. But I don't know what that means..."

"I'm asking, are you in kue??"

Alright, apparently South African students don't understand that repeating the same sentence is actually not very helpful. Especially when the issue at hand is not that we can't hear them but that we can't understand them. Anyway.. kue means line. Now we know.

Candace & Miché

2009-01-26T23:09:00.000-08:00

Candace and Miché are two freshman girls who prayed to receive Christ today. Let me share their story:

Sitting in the open University Union right outside the cafeteria, Candace and Miché were eating their "chips n sauce" when the Spirit of the Lord led us to meet them. Candace is a sweet and quiet 18 year old girl who grew up in Johannesburg with an older brother and two loving parents. She is a white Afrikaan with blonde hair and blue eyes who loves to shop and spend quality time with friends. Miché is 18 years old as well and grew up in a town right outside of Zimbabwe. With purple streaked hair and a handful of piercings, she is proud to call herself a "down-to-earth punker." She loves to meet people, make new friends, and party "hard core" on the weekends. When we asked the girls what their spiritual backgrounds were, they both replied ''Christians...because my parents are.'' When we asked them to explain what being a Christian meant to them, they stared at us blankly as if it was supposed to mean anything at all. Since being here, we have learned that many students in South Africa will call themselves Christian and yet have no idea who Jesus Christ is. It's not uncommon to hear them say they have faith in the Lord, and yet not understand the gospel. Over the years, Christianity has become a distorted term used to describe parentage rather than a relationship with God. Being a 'Christian' means where you come from, not who you place your faith and hope in. As they reversed the question onto us, we were able to explain the Christian faith and all that it means by sharing the Gospel with them. One of my favorite things about sharing the Gospel with people is seeing their faces light up. Jesus says in Scipture that His sheep will know his voice..and it's evident when you see people understand the gospel for the first time. As we shared the beauty of the God's grace with them, Candace and Miché eagerly followed along. They would ask questions and we would explain, then they would excitedly ask for us to go on. By the end of our conversation, both girls asked us how they could have a personal relationship with God. Their whole lives, they said, they had been living in control. But today, they wanted to hand it over to God.

It was no accident that these two young girls, completely opposite of each other, would be sitting together today. It was no accident that they happened to have a break this afternoon from all their orientation meetings and classes. It was no accident that we happened to see them and sit to talk with them. It was no accident..because God had been preparing their hearts, their whole lives, for this day. And how AMAZING, that he chose me to be a part of it; that he allowed me to be a part of his pursuit for these two girls; that he gave me the opportunity to show His love to both of them today.

I praise God today for two new sisters in Christ. And for His faithfulness to send us to those who were ready to hear.

2009-01-24T18:41:00.000-08:00

I will give 100R to anyone who can say "Mammal Research Institute" in Afrikaans.

'SOOGDIERNAVORSINGSINTITUUT'

(three times, really fast.)

TUKS

2009-01-20T21:32:00.000-08:00

The University of Pretoria, also known as TUKS (which is the acronym in Afrikaans), is an incredibly beautiful campus, wonderful for students and strategic for ministry. It is one of the biggest Universities in the entire country and welcomes over 40,000 students on its campus. TUKS is largely international with students coming from Europe, Korea, China, India, as well as countries all over Africa. By reaching out to students on this campus, we have the opportunity to not only reach the country of South Africa, but have the potential to reach all of Africa and the world.

As of 2007, the campus division is roughly 43% white students and 57% black students. Their two biggest schools of study are Engineering and Business Communications although the University itself offers everything from Fashion Design to Zoology, Acting to Medicine, and Home Economics to Law. The wide variety of majors that are offered, bring in a wide variety of students.

This year, there are approximately 7,000 first year students coming onto campus. This week is freshman orientation week which is our big opportunity to do outreach. The first week for freshman is the most bombarding time for them as pressures to get drunk, go clubbing, party, and have sex pull from every side of them from the older students and clubs on campus. Our hope is to reach them before anyone else does, and to invite them into an abundantly more fulfilling and satisfying life in Christ. We also hope to connect with students who already know the Lord, to build them up in their faith and develop them as future leaders to reach other students on their campus.

I trust that the Lord has already prepared the hearts of those we're going to meet. Pray with me as I expect God to do mighty things this week and this year on the TUKS campus.

McDonalds

2009-01-19T20:31:00.000-08:00

We were in Hatfield Plaza today; an old mini shopping center about 5 minutes from our house. Beggars are lined up on every sidewalk, by every parking spot, waiting for someone to pass by. Amanda, Stacy, and I were sitting across the street from McDonalds, waiting for our team leader, Kendra, to finish up on the pay-phone.

A man approached us. I recognized him from earlier in the week. I think he comes to Hatfield regularly. Cupping his hands to make a bowl for the change, he began to plead. "Excuse me, sistahs..please, any change. I am hungry and my mum have no food for 3 days. I need one loaf today so we can last for weekend. Please sistahs..any change."

"What's your name?" Amanda asks.

Taken aback, he proudly says "Kris" with a smile.

"Kris?"

"Yes, Kris. My name is Kris. That is my brotha Joseph," he says as he points to the man across the street, looking almost identical to him.

"How about we buy you some McDonalds, Kris? Would you like that? We would like to get you some food and talk to you for a moment."

"Yes mamn. McDonalds. Thank you mamn."

"You don't need to call us mamn," we said with smiles and went down the row introducing our names.

The McDonalds has no indoor seating. It's like a walk-up counter with an outside patio of maybe 5 tables. It has limited space so people are crowded all around. As Stacy and I walk up to the line to order him a couple burgers, Amanda offers him a seat at the only open table. Heads turn and eyes stare at the strange and unfamiliar scene of well-dressed American women taking a malodorous black beggar out to lunch.

"Tell us your story," we ask as we offer him his first meal of the day.

Kris is one of 3 children. He has an older sister who is 26 and finds work by cleaning white people's homes. "She is hard worker," he tells us proudly. Joseph is his older brother by one year. Joseph is 22 and makes a living by coming to Hatfield plaza with Kris Monday thru Friday to watch people's cars. Very commonly in South Africa, beggars will stand by parking spots in public areas and help people park, make sure their car doesn't get stolen, perhaps wash their car while the people do their shopping, and though there is no fixed price for the job, a couple Rand is usually what they receive for their service. Before the sun sets, Kris and Joseph walk about an hour and a half back home to their family. Kris' dad works in construction. Occasionally, he will let Kris come to work with him and help dig holes for buildings, roads, water pipes, and many other things. "I like working with my fatha. But I only go on special days." Kris' mother is home and sick. "Sick" can mean anything from the flu to AIDS. In many of the townships, children will say that their family member is "sick" instead of saying that they have AIDS. It is a shameful disease to them and many fear abandonment and punishment if they admit to it.

"I have to help my brotha..but thank you for my foods, mamn"

Though we wanted to talk more, Kris' work was important for him and his family's health.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Kris. And please, call me Ali."

"Ali, yes mamn. Thank you Ali."

"Stacy."

"Amanda."

He shook each of our hands and left with 4 burgers to share between him and Joseph that afternoon.

God moved. God won. And I can't wait for Him to do it again.

the Win.

2009-01-17T16:29:00.001-08:00

Amanda, one of the girls on my team, went to the kitchen to throw away what was left of her lunch this afternoon. As she stood in front of the trash, she held the piece of crust in her hand, staring intently at the stale bread soaked with honey and peanut butter. "I feel awful throwing this away.." she said, as she held up her last inch of sandwich for us to see. None of us spoke as we silently understood the thoughts running through each other's minds. People aren't just hungry here...they're starving. And though we don't have much as a full time missionary, we have whole lot more than the common man living in Africa.

As we sat around the living room processing our thoughts, the Lord finally revealed to us the obvious.

A few posts back, I shared my heart with you about losing the battle to every beggar. Since coming here, those thoughts have continued to wrestle in me as I've been seeking to find the Lord's victory in it. And today, God showed us "the Win." Rather than giving money every time to the beggars, the girls and I have decided to pack an extra sandwich every morning before we leave the house. Instead of feeding into their stereotype that every white American is rich and every black African is poor, and instead of walking past them not giving them anything, we are going to feed them with what they really need; food and love. It makes me think of what Jesus would do if he were here, walking on the very streets we walk on every day. If a beggar approached him, he wouldn't just toss him a couple Rands and walk away. Nor do I think he would walk past him and pray. I think if Jesus was here, he would have compassion on the man and approach him humbly, just as he did throughout Scripture. He would offer the beggar food; exactly what the beggar needs. Then he would speak with the man in grace, truth, and love. As God's hands and feet, that's exactly what we want to do.

We're all really excited to see God win tomorrow...

"Then when you call, the Lord will answer. 'Yes, I am here,' he will quickly reply. "Remove the heavy yoke of oppression..Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring."

Isaiah 58:9-11

BEAM

2009-01-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

BEAM, as I've mentioned to many of you before, is a small organization started by a white South African couple whose hope is to restore the spiritual climate of the country by reaching thewomen and children in the townships through practical needs. They offer food, computer skills, tutoring, life skills, education, therapy, spiritual mentoring, and play. Their facility is small and under a lot of financial stress as the government isn't always supportive or reliable with its funding. They are located in the heart of Nellmapias which is an extremely poor township in Pretoria, just 20 minutes away from where we live. Crime is high there and many of these children have been exposed to a way of life that is simply unheard of. Flooded with children between the ages of one and fifteen, many of these children call each other family. The majority are without parents and live in one room tin houses along the dirt roads of their town. Children take care of children and death is as typical to them as the common cold is to us. In art therapy, the children will draw everything from guns, blood, violence, sexual parts, and pictures of them crying for hope.

But God is moving. There have been young boys who have come to BEAM with no other intention other than to get a free meal. But through the unconditional love of Christ pouring out on them through the people that work there, they have come to know the Lord. Their lives are changed and hope is real to them. They want a future and talk about the excitement of getting an education to make something of themselves one day. They are young boys who have been drenched with the violent and wicked reality of a fallen world and are now saturated with the love and hope of Jesus Christ. I am brought to tears when I think of how God's work in their life will now affect so many more lives simply

by the beauty of their testimony.

I pray the same and more, for the many other children at BEAM. Please pray with me so we can work to change the future of Africa together, in Christ.

Lose, Lose

2009-01-14T13:16:00.000-08:00

Everywhere in South Africa, there are beggars. Being here for a few days now, it's been difficult discerning the best way to deal with the situation. Many of the beggars are harmless youth; refugees from other countries in Africa who have no other means to live other than begging. It breaks my heart to hear them over and again plead for a Rand or two..which is maybe 10-20 cents in American money. I have the means to do it..so why not?

As we talked to some of the locals and national staff to hear their thoughts, they discussed the difficulty with Americans giving to beggars. By giving to them, you are often giving them a wrong stereotype of an American. They believe that every white American is rich and will just freely empty their pockets so that the beggar will stop "bothering" them. By not giving to them, they may be left with no meal for the rest of the day. It's a lose, lose situation. So what do you do? Give them a Rand knowing you will help them, but also feeding them the false idea that they are poor black beggars and we are rich white Americans, and it will always be that way? Or refuse to give them the money..and leave them hungry?

As my friends and I were walking back to our car from the shopping center this afternoon, we passed by an old black man sitting at the corner of a traffic light. We overheard his tragic words that pierced my heart with the reality of this fallen and broken world, "If I was not born a sinner, I would have been born white."

I know my God is a God of victory. Not a God of "lose, lose." So then what's the win?

As I read through Scripture today, I came across John 9. The entire chapter tells the story of Jesus healing a man born blind. There were two parts of that story that particularly spoke to me as I wrestled through my thoughts. The first was found in verse 3 when Jesus says "It was not because of his sins or his parents' sins that this man is blind. This happened so the power of God could be seen in him." I often find myself asking the question "Why?" as I observe and experience more and more of the suffering around the world. I still don't fully understand it..but I do know that the power of God can be seen through it. Even here, I have already seen the power of God's mighty hand at work. Sadly, I didn't initially think that was enough. But if God does all things for His Kingdom and Glory...surely any power seen in and through this world, is enough. Secondly, I realized that Jesus was also in a "lose, lose" situation. The man born blind was healed on the Sabbath, which is the day of rest. When Jesus came across this man, if he followed the Sabbath, the man would not be healed; lose. If he did heal the man, he would have broken the Sabbath; lose. But the result was a Win. Why? Because God was given the glory. Jesus does heal the man, because in doing so, He was able to proclaim the power of Himself and the Father.

I want to do that. I want to be able to have discernment in a world where losing seems to be the only answer. I want to be a representation of Christ where "the win" is an obvious answer. Lord, help me.

the unlimited honk

2009-01-14T13:14:00.000-08:00

There is no limit to honking your horn in this country. It is the most loud, obnoxious, stressful noise that consistently resounds on every street. Here are my theories as to why this may occcur:

Honking is...

-a sign of respect

-good luck

-a way of creating a rhythmic beat so that pedestrians and fellow drivers can enjoy music together

-an accident from every driver that just happens a lot

-obviously very necessary

-the South African way to praise Jesus

any other thoughts or theories are welcome. I'm trying to believe the best...but i'd love some help.

Come inside...

2009-01-12T12:54:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm here! I made it to Africa! By God's grace and faithful provision, we were able to move into a house right away. I showed you some pics a while back..but I wanted you to get the FULL experience of our new home. So I posted a video with a little tour of our place. Hope you enjoy!

Lord, am I ready?

2009-01-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

I leave for Africa tomorrow..and there are butterflies, a whole flock of them, flying around in my stomach. I'm not nervous or fearful..but I can't help to ask "Lord, am I ready?" Am I ready to experience a year completely stripped of everything that is comfortable to me? Am I ready to see the pain and suffering of a whole nother world that lies in Africa? Am I ready to be your very hands and feet that you have called me to be? Am I ready to be challenged, stretched, and broken in my own heart? Am I ready to experience a piece of your glory in a completely new part of the world? ..I don't know.

But perhaps it's a good thing. If I felt completely ready...I would have something to boast about. I would have something to control. I would have expectations to fulfill and a plan set for myself and my year ahead. If I were ready..I wouldn't need to be dependent on the Lord. So as a matter of fact..in not being ready..I think I couldn't be more ready.

Lord, I'm all yours. Use me, stretch me, mold me, break me. Make me completely dependent on you, so that everything that is done this year would come from you alone, and not me.

Lord, I'm ready.

He has brought me laughter

2009-01-05T12:20:00.000-08:00

In the beginning of December, my support was at 70%. I had four weeks to raise $12,500. It made me think of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 17 when God told them they would have a child. “Then Abraham bowed down to the ground but he laughed to himself in disbelief.” How could I raise so much money in so little time? I had no idea. But God knew, and He wanted my faith to prove it.

Mid-December, school ended and my support raised about 3%.

On December 31, my support was at 83%. I left on New Year’s Day to meet my team in Denver, CO for a week long conference in preparation to leave by the 6th. I prayed for a miracle that God would bring in the rest of my support, otherwise I wouldn't be able to leave with my team. I ran out of contacts and was waiting on just a couple confirmations. Day one of being in Denver, I went from 83 to 86%. Day two, I went from 86 to 91%. My team rejoiced with me as I needed at least 90% to board the plane with them! Day three, as I sat in my hotel room just before bed, I saw the Lord bring in the rest of my support, raising it from 91-100% in less than one hour. “And Sarah declared, ‘God has brought me laughter. All who hear about this will laugh with me. Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse a baby? Yet I have given Abraham a son in his old age!” (Gen. 21:6-7). On my knees before Him, my eyes were filled with tears and my heart was filled with laughter. Like Sarah, I couldn’t help but to laugh at the marvelous blessing and work of my God...because of how incapable I am to understand it.

Proud.

2009-01-01T14:19:00.000-08:00

My parents and brother dropped me off at the airport this morning with two 50 lb. bags, a carry on, and a backpack the size of me. It was so hard to leave them and to hug them knowing it would be our last embrace until next year. But at the same time, it couldn't have felt more perfect in the way we left. When I first shared my heart and desire to go to Africa with them about a year ago, it was one of the most difficult conversations I've had with them. As any parent would be, they were concerned, fearful, angry, confused, and just simply didn't understand how I could give up a year of my life to go. Since November 2007 until this day of 2009, I have lifted up prayer after prayer for the Lord to soften their hearts. It has been a process since that first day we talked..but God has been faithful. Through raising support, providing the way, and a multitude of praise stories to share with them in preparing to go, God has shown more of Himself and His character not only to me, but to my family. The last words my parents and my big brother said to me before I left was, "I'm so proud." With tears welled up in my eyes, I walked through the security check-in waving my final goody-byes.

It is not that they are proud of me that makes me happy; for there is nothing of me to boast about. But those words prove their softened hearts, which God so faithfully answered through the power of prayer. He replaced their fear with trust, their confusion with confirmation, and their doubt with excitement. He turned their anger into love and their hesitation to support.

"Proud." There couldn't be another word more confirming of His faithfulness.

Happy Annibirthmasary!

2008-12-21T12:04:00.000-08:00

On December 15, I surprised Trevor in El Salvador for our two-year anniversary. Our disciplers from San Luis Obispo blessed me with a ticket as we have committed to a year of missions and would be apart for a year and

a half.

It was the greatest blessing to both of us! Ever since he left in August, we've been able to communicate with each other through Skype, which is an online video phone call. When I got to El Salvador, some of my best friends who are on his team came to pick me up at the airport and took me back to their house. Trev and the other guys on the team were out running some errands (and killing time) as I set up my surprise at the girls' house. I went upstairs and signed onto Skype in my friend's room. When he got there, the rest of the team told him I was waiting to talk to him online. He and I started a conversation, like any other....only I was in the room right next to him instead of miles away. For our anniversary present, I gave him our journal that we've written back and forth to each other over the years. As we went through it together, I suddenly 'had to use the bathroom.'

"I'm sorry, I'll be right back! But look in the pocket in the back of the journal, there's one last surprise for you.."

As he opened the pocket, he pulled out all my boarding passes that I stuck in there from my LA, Miami, and San Salvador flights to go see him. Confused, he flipped through the boarding stubs as I ran outside to the balcony where he was sitting. With wide eyes he dropped the passes and sat up...and for about 5 minutes straight, said nothing but "Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?.."

It was so surreal.

To be able to hug him again, smell his scent, even just see his smile face to face and not over a screen...it was the most beautiful moment that brought me to tears.

That week, we spent time encouraging one another, enjoying being in each other’s presence again, observing his leadership on the team and being so proud of him, having deep conversations about the Lord’s vision and plan for us now and in the future, and even enjoying the simplicity of holding hands again. We were able to celebrate our 2 year anniversary, his birthday, and an early christmas in a month that we thought we'd have to endure apart from each other.

It was such a week to remember and a week that refreshed my soul in so many ways. God called us out this year and I know and trust that He will sustain us. But I love that He is a God who loves to bless us. I realize that sometimes God gives us things we don’t really need, but He blesses us just because he understands how much we desire it. And just like a father will give his child a new toy, or a trip to Disneyland, or something the child does not need, but he blesses him because he delights in seeing his child filled with so much joy; I feel like my Father in heaven has given me an opportunity to see the man I love, simply because

He delights in seeing me find joy in the midst of His blessings.

Now I have to leave him again as we endure a year apart. But God has blessed us up to this point and I know He will only continue to do so, even if we're miles away.

good-byes

2008-12-12T23:51:00.000-08:00

Today I had to say good-bye to some of my closest friends, mentors, bible studies, and meaningful relationships as the Lord reminded me of how faithful He has been in using so many people in my life. Even though I’m only going for a year, there is something about saying “good-bye” that causes the heart to reflect on how deeply we value those we love. And I am so grateful that there are so many people in my life whom saying “good-bye” to is difficult. It just makes me realize how many people I am truly blessed with, and how many people I really do love.

I miss all of you already.

9 hidden lettes, one lucky girl

2008-12-07T19:59:00.000-08:00

On Dec. 6 at 5:00 am, I woke up to the unpleasantly fierce vibrations of my phone. With my eyes half open, I read the screen that blinded my eyes with the flashing text: "Trev CALLING." Knowing he's one to enjoy his sleep, I worriedly picked up. I was right. He does love his sleep. But he also loves loving me well. And today, that meant a big surprise.

After being instructed to dress warm and hop in the car, I found a letter taped onto my steering wheel. Keep in mind, Trev lives over 3,000 miles away in the middle of El Salvador. How he managed to do all this...I have no idea. But he's an incredible man; I know that much. So I got into the car and read my first letter. On the passenger seat was a Starbucks card and my ipod waiting to be played with a playlist he titled "For Ali from Trev." I was told to go to Starbucks, grab myself some coffee, listen to his playlist and head out to Montana de Oro where I would find my next letter.

My second letter was found under the bench where he gave me a new purity ring two years ago. It was a day significant to both of us and is now a place that marks so much of the beauty in our relationship. The letter told me to spend some time enjoying the sunrise, the beauty of God's creation, and praising our Father for his faithfulness in our lives. I did just that, and was brought to tears as my grateful heart was overwhelmed that morning.

Letter number three was found in the trunk of my car, taped to the back of three colorful pictures that made my heart smile. After going home and getting ready, I met the Kromhout family at noon. As I pulled up to the front of the house, Karlyn, Grant and Pierson stood in the driveway each wearing a santa hat, waiting to give me my fourth letter. Trev and I have had the privilege of watching and taking care of the Kromhout kids for over two years now. They are like family to us and some of our favorite memories have been in that house together. One of the hardest things about leaving for a year is leaving the people you love. So Trev arranged for the family and I to spenext nd time together for one of the last times before saying good-bye. We went Christmas tree shopping, put up lights, and then I was sent to my fifth letter which was going to be at a Woman's Event with Campus Crusade.

Filled with anticipation, I drove to the place where I would find my next "clue." As I walked into the door, girls rushed me with smiles and nudges asking me how my day was going. How did everyone know about this but me? I am one difficult girl to surprise, but apparently he knows how to pull it off really well. All giddy and excited, I gladly shared all the details when I spotted my letter from across the room. Allison, my discipler (or spiritual mentor) whose husband is also Trev's discipler, called me over with a dozen roses and Letter 5 in hand. Allison and her husband Joe are two of our biggest supporters and most influential people in our lives. We love them dearly, which is why Trev asked her to be a part of my special day. Opening the letter, I was told to go to Cuesta Park where had our first date.

The next letter I found was under a bench sitting beside the creek. Trev and I had some of the most Spirit-filled conversations at this park, where we were able to experience God's abundant grace in and through each other. The letter told me to spend some time alone with the Lord, praying and thanking Him for the grace He has poured upon our relationship. Amazing Grace is our favorite hymn that we cannot help but to cry to every time we hear it. Alone by the quiet creek, I sang loud and unashamed. It was a beautiful day for praising my King. Towards the end of my time, I received a phone call from him asking me how my day was going. I could tell the excitement in his voice as I shared how perfect every little detail has been. One of his greatest joys is making me happy...and he does it so well. Over the phone, he told me to head back home where I would find my next letter taped behind the sign "Sycamore Dr" on my street.

If you're following along, we're now at letter number 7. After struggling to rip it down from the sign that's twice my height, I was finally allowed to rest. And that's exactly what I did. I came home, fell onto the first available couch and slept. I took about an hour nap and then got ready for a dinner out with my roommates. Reservations were made he said, for 7:00. So I quickly got ready and jumped in the car with my friends to finish our night. We drove to Yanagi's which is Trev and my favorite restaurant. He's friends with all the sushi chefs behind the counter and hugs the hostess at every visit. As I walked into the door, the first person I see is Trevor's mom who drove 3 hours just to see me that night. Next to her, sat Trev and my closest friends down a long table at the restaurant. Each were there to wish me a happy early anniversary with Trev. His mom handed me a small gift as his sister passed me the 8th letter. I opened my present which was a little pocket booklet that had pictures of us from over the years. The first page read, "This little book is...for whenever you feel lonely..for whenever you see no end in sight..for whenever you need to laugh..for whenever you need to remember.."

After an amazing dinner with the people I love, I came home, fell on my bed, and called Trev to thank him. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. It was the most amazing day I've had apart from him..though I couldn't have felt closer. After we hung up I changed into my PJs and just as I was about to lay my head to down to sleep..I found the last letter on my pillow. A beautifully written letter to end my day with a final phrase.."You are worthy to be pursued."

If there is any man who helps me to see and understand God's Love better..it is Trev.

I am one lucky girl.

home sweet home

2008-11-24T16:15:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, housing has been one of the biggest prayer requests for our team. Being the first STINTers to launch a movement in South Africa, there are already so many unknowns that we are going to have to figure out as the year progresses. To pick up my life and move first thing into a hostel...wasn't the most comforting thought. But if it was God's will, we were willing to follow. But praise HIM, that He had greater things in store for us all along.

This month, we received wonderful news of a housing opportunity in Pretoria, South Africa. We gladly accepted! It is a beautiful 5-6 bedroom house, fully furnished, with an incredible backyard! It is conveniently located 8 miles from campus and sits in a nice, safe part of town. The women on our team will live here and this will be our "home base" where we will have team meetings, invite students over for special events, dinners, and fellowship activities. Not only will this be a comforting place for us to stay, but a wonderful place for ministry. Praise God! He provided us with more than just a house...He blessed us with a home.

come take a look!...

here is our kitchenette and sunroom:

our tv/living room:

our main kitchen:

one of the bedrooms:

and our beautiful backyard!:

Faithful to Answer

2008-10-31T15:16:00.000-07:00

These past four months have been a rollercoaster of a ride. From spending my last moments with Trevor during the summer, to meeting my team and casting vision for our trip, to starting Fall Quarter at Poly and diving into the different ministries here, raising support, and now planning and preparing to leave in just two months. As I sat down to write about some updates for this past month, I had a hard time coming up with anything at all. It feels like my life has been going full speed and the only thing I ever seem to write about are what I’ve done, what I’m doing, what I still need to do, and the mix of all my emotions that come along with it. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing; I do hope you enjoy and find encouragement in hearing about what I’m learning, doing, and going through. But I realize there is so much more going on here, than just what I’m doing. GOD, is doing things far beyond anything I expected. As I have prayed and as you have prayed…HE has been faithful to answer.

I thank God for the protection of unity within our team. As national staff in South Africa suggested we split our team into two groups for the year, it became an unsettling idea for us in many different ways. Dividing our team would not only make intimacy among the group difficult throughout the year, but it also meant a lot more safety precautions for all of us. Half of our team would be placed in Johannesburg full time while the other half of us lived in Pretoria. There would only be two men, opposed to four men, caring for and watching the women on our team, in each group. As we held this idea out with open hands, we prayed God’s will would be to keep us together. Waiting in anticipation, God was faithful to answer our prayers. Our team will not be split and we will all be living in Pretoria for the year! I can’t even begin to tell you what a relief it is for all of us and how incredibly grateful we are that God has protected our team from the possibility of dividing in two.

I thank God for His provision over my support. The last week of October, I held a support night at my house for college students and friends to come hear about the vision for South Africa and how they can help. Many people were out of town that weekend, a lot of people intended to come but ended up having other plans, and some were simply not interested. As I handed out invitations throughout the week, I was clueless as to how the night would turn out. College students, who would much rather be doing something other than hear about missions on a Saturday night, already had little to no money in their pockets. But college students, are also some of the most willing and generous people to give. It was a shot in the dark and a huge step of faith, but God heard my prayers and faithfully answered them, once again.Over 20 students filled the backroom of my house, squeezing onto our couches, filling the carpet space on the floor, and setting up dining room and desk chairs in all the open spaces. I was able to share with them how God has personally called me to go this year, why South Africa is a strategic and effective place for ministry, what our team will be doing once we get there, and how they each can specifically help. As I shared our promo video with them and a slideshow of pictures from previous teams, I watched the Spirit of the Lord move in that room, capturing the hearts of my peers as they were compelled by the needs of this country. I finished the night opening it up to any questions they had. It was amazing how quickly these students caught onto the vision, how involved they wanted to be in the process of me going, and how quick they were to respond in obedience. It was the most encouraging time I’ve had all quarter. I didn’t expect students to give anything that night, and told them I would follow up the next week with a phone call. But God had different plans, and put it on some of these students’ hearts to give immediately. I went to bed that night with $600 in one-time checks, a few monthly commitments, and a thousand praises for my King.

And lastly, I thank God for the abundant joy He has daily filled my soul with this past month. I think I am starting to finally realize, not simply by the knowledge of my mind, but realize through the experience of my heart, the difference between happiness and joy. Comparing last quarter to this quarter paints the perfect picture of how God is growing me in this area. As I look back at the state of my heart last quarter, I just see a big mess of emotions tagging along with my emotion-based faith. There were absolutely wonderful days where I experienced happiness, smiles, and laughter, but they became so fleeting. I began to see fear, anxiety, and doubt arise when the storms hit, when temptation to sin became stronger, when more of life felt less in my control. The difference with joy is that it’s not really an emotion that comes and goes. But it’s a fruit of the Spirit; a state of being that is forever constant. This past month, I have experienced and incredible joy that has consumed every part of me. Whether circumstances are good or trying, my joy has remained. Twice this week I accidentally, but maybe not coincidentally, came upon these verses in Scripture: “Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice!...Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything” (Ph 4:4,6). “Always be joyful. Never stop praying” (1Th 5:16-17). I think it’s interesting how joy is a command before prayer is in these verses. But I think I’m starting to understand why this is so important. The only way we are able to find and maintain constant joy in our life, is when the truths about God’s Word, His character, and His promises, become a reality in our lives. It’s when we no longer just know it in our heads but we believe it in our hearts, and we experience His truth in the innermost parts of our soul. When this becomes true of us, we cannot not experience joy. There is no way our lives can be so intimately involved with the Creator of the Universe and not be consumed in every part with joy. And when joy comes from an understanding of who God is, I think then is when we can come to Him in prayer, petitioning for His will to be done, His glory to be shown, and our hearts to be aligned with His. So with an overflow of abundant joy, I come praying. I pray for the joy of the Lord to consume and overflow from every African student and child.

And knowing my God, I know He will be faithful to answer.

SLO-ing down...

2008-09-30T13:31:00.000-07:00

It's the end of September and I only have three months left until I leave for South Africa! Time is flying by and I'm getting so excited to pack up my stuff and board that plane. I moved into my house in SLO and settled down a little bit, but felt like I was living out of a suitcase. Everything seemed so temporary and though I was physically still here, emotionally I was already living in Africa.

But God spoke to my through His faithful and living Word. Psalm 95:6-7 reads, "Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneels before the Lord our maker, for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice, today." I began praying that the Lord would show me His purpose here in SLO. I want to prepare my heart for South Africa and the ministry He is calling me to next year...but I don't want to be living for it and miss the opportunities He's given me right now. I know that God doesn't want me to just sit around, waiting for time to pass. He has such a purpose for me this fall quarter and I want to be a good steward of where He has me today. As I prayed for God to reveal the ways in which He wanted to use and grow me here in SLO, He answered immediately and my eyes were opened to new opportunities to bless, and to be blessed.

This quarter I will continue to lead the same bible study that I began last year. The girls in my study are now sophomores, mature in their faith, eager to learn, ready to grow, and excited to be used for God's kingdom and glory. They encourage and challenge me in ways I can't even explain to you and I am reminded of my purpose here, because of each one of them. The house that I am living in, though it's the same little blue house on Sycamore Drive, it looks and feels more different than it ever has. We have three new roommates living with us to substitute our places while three of us leave for STINT, and though I miss our "family," God has opened my eyes to see so much purpose in each woman living in our home. I have enjoyed the hour-long conversations we've had about who God is and how to experience His love. I have enjoyed sharing my testimony with these girls and seeing their eyes light up at the story of God's grace and redemption as they are captivated by how person God is in my life. I have enjoyed having them ask questions that cause me to dig deeper into Scripture. God has shown me so much purpose in living at home, with new roommates, new relationships and new opportunities...and again I am reminded of my purpose here because of each of them. This quarter, I joined a new bible study, in addition to the one I have been involved in since freshman year, and I am so challenged by each woman in that group. They are women who are marked by faith, by love, by grace, and they exude such a beautiful presence that draws me closer to the Lord. I have been so encouraged by these women as they offer me so much love and support during this time of transition in my life. I am greatly blessed and reminded of my purpose here in SLO...because of each of them. This quarter, I get to play and hang out with 4 of my favorite children of all time (though babysitting). But even though it's my job, I can't possibly consider it work for all the joy that I get to experience with these kids. Karlyn, Grant, Pierson and Mabel are some of my greatest joys here in SLO and in my time spent with them, I am reminded of the child-like faith, the innocence, and the purity of a child that God calls me to have. And in each of them, I am reminded of my purpose here in SLO once again. AS I started my classes and introduced myself to some new classmates, God opened doors for me to have conversations about my faith with many of them. I was able to share my upcoming trip to Africa and how it was God who compelled me to go. I'm excited for these new relationship is my classes and for opportunities for God to use me to draw in the souls of these students closer to Him.

My excitement for South Africa continues to grow each day as the Lord prepares my heart for ministry there. My prayers have become so much more fervent as the time grows closer for us to leave. But in my excitement to go and be sent, I have also learned to slow down...and enjoy the purpose He has called me to, today. I love that God is so intentional in His plans for us. I love that I can be here in SLO, with full faith and confidence in knowing that He has me here for a reason. It's not that I happen to still be here and in His faithfulness He will use it for good. But rather it is in His faithfulness, that He has intentionally called me to be here and in His faithfulness that He will use me for His purpose.

One Family: an answered prayer

2008-09-24T13:34:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord!
Some of you may have been aware, but during Global Briefing in August my team had discussed the possibility of splitting in two. The national staff in Pretoria wanted us to be working on the university campus in Johannesburg as well as in Pretoria. Depending on how much time the nationals wanted us in Johannesburg, the idea was thrown out there that our team would split into two groups. Half of us would live in Johannesburg doing full time ministry in that city while the other half of us lived in Pretoria. This was a huge concern for our team as you can imagine our hesitations to split up. For one, we already feel like a family. We did not want to split up the unity of our group and split our ministry in two. Our vision and hope was to go into South Africa as a team, as one family, and serve that country together. Secondly, safety was a huge concern for many of us women as well. Johannesburg has an extremely high crime rate and to have our team split with less people working in that city, let alone living in that city, was a huge concern for many of us. As we discussed our thoughts as a team, it was encouraging to see the attitude of every member reflect that of honesty yet complete surrender. "My heart says stick together, but God's will be done, not ours."

All praise to the Father who aligned our hearts with His and whose will was to have us stay as one team. I just received news that we will not be splitting into two groups and we will live as a family in Pretoria for the year. We will be doing ministry in Johannesburg, but will not be living there and will have control of commuting in and out of the city.

Praise God for His provision and His faithfulness. And thank you to everyone who has been praying on our behalf. Your prayers have been answered, and an overwhelming sense of peace now rests upon our team. Thank you.

Lord, break my heart...

2008-09-18T21:23:00.000-07:00

"Lord, break my heart for the things that break Yours..." A prayer many of us pray.

Last year, as I spent two months in Santa Monica for a summer project with Campus Crusade, sharing my faith with people on the streets...God gave me a glimpse of His broken heart. The depths of my heart ached as I was heavily burdened for the lost souls in this world. As I began to pray for friends I knew in my hometown, it led me to pray for people in my classes. Then people at my work, and people I've met on the streets. The list continued as I prayed for the souls of people I have never met...for my city, for my state, my country, tribes I've never heard of, and the world. I remember crying out to the Lord, my soul deeply groaning, my face wet with tears, for people I barely knew, if I knew them at all. And it hit me...this was a glimpse of God's heart for His lost sheep; A picture of His indescribable, infinite Love for each of them. I will never forget that moment I spent with the Lord and I will never be able to see the people in this world the same as I did. They are so much more than people, so much more than friends, so much more than just a clerk behind the counter or the barista serving my coffee. They are so more than just my classmates, or my professors, or my neighbor. They are souls, loved and pursued by the God of the Universe...who I am called to love and pursue as well.

Last week, as I sat in the quiet of the night, God increased my understanding of His heart once again. On September 11, I got a phone call receiving news that my team member's father took his life earlier that night. I was devastated. The day or two before, I received an email from my best friend's mom who works with at-risk middle school students. One of the 7th grade boys at her school was killed in a gang shooting. That same week, I went out with one of my sophomore girls who cried to me in confusion and sorrow about her older sister who has decided to walk away from her faith and live for the world instead. As I sat and thought about each of these things, my mind drifted into a thousand more thoughts of this fallen world. I thought of the countless people looking for a place to rest their head that night. I thought of the sick, the lonely, the orphaned, and the widowed. I thought of the mothers and children, fathers, husbands, and students in Africa all suffering with AIDS. I thought of the streets in LA and around the world of people scared to go to bed at night. Tears just streamed down my face as thoughts continued to race through my mind of how broken and fallen this world has truly become. "Why God?! I don't understand it. Why is there so much suffering..why are so many people hurting..why are there so many people in this world who don't know You?!"

And He answered, "You are my hands, my feet, and my mouth. You tell me why..."

In that moment, I felt empowered by the Spirit of God. How quickly I forget that the same power of God that rose Jesus from the dead, the same power of God that defeated the cross...lives inside of me. How quickly I forget that God has called me to live in His Spirit to be a light in this world. To use my hands to serve the broken hearted, my feet to pursue the lost sheep among the nations, my mouth to speak words that are full of love, grace, kindness, and truth. My life is to be lived for Him. To bring Him glory. To represent His Son. So that He may love the world through me.

My only response to Him that night as I wiped my tears away, was "..send me."

A deeply rooted tree

2008-09-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

This morning, I sat to have a quiet time and the first thing I wrote was, "Lord, this season is hard." Immediately, He led me to a verse in Jeremiah as He breathed the Living Word of truth upon me: "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots deep into the waters. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried about long months of drought. Their leaves are green and they never stop producing fruit. (17:7-8)" I miss Trevor more than I thought I ever could. This season is hard. But I don't want to be bothered by it. I want to grow, I want my faith to increase, I want to be used by the Lord and produce good fruit. I want my character to be refined and my hope in the Lord to strengthen. I want HIM to receive glory and His kingdom to be furthered. When I think of that tree..as it stands along the riverbank, with absolutely nothing around it, growing green leaves and producing fruit...even though it is not bothered by the heat or worried about long months of drought..it can still feel those things as it stands in the middle of it. I may feel lonely at times, or sad with Trevor gone, or overwhelmed at times during the quarter..but I will not be bothered by it or worried. I want my trust to be in the Lord and my hope and confidence to come from Him.

In the midst of loneliness and an aching heart, the intimacy I experience with the Lord has been my greatest joy. My dependence on Him has grown tremendously and I am learning so much of what it looks like to be stripped of all things comfortable, all the things I love..and be fully satisfied in Him alone. I serve a jealous God, who loves me unfailingly...and I am truly grateful.